moodtheowl

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

the ideal media diet for a child is books and music from at least fifty years ago so they are always out of touch with the references and allusions of their peer group

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

that man is my princess

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

​honkpilled shoomaxxer

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi

reblog if you or your moots live in fucking narnia or some shit

Statistically speaking I have more or less never seen a movie in my life

Flubber?

I've never seen flubber.

Asshole

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn