this week has been productive but i definitely need to go out this weekend or else im losing it

rewriting my entire paper because who doesn’t enjoy revisiting the exact same analysis 3 times

i got a positive review of my abstract for this paper but i fear i might have been too much of an overachiever and now i can’t manage to fit what i want to say into a 10 min presentation. but that leaves me wondering—who can properly defend anything in just 10 minutes when there’s an entire thesis behind the reasoning ? anyways

writing an article for a conference in early june. had an existential crisis which almost triggered an anxiety attack last night because i just can’t place myself amidst all of this. i keep wondering if this is normal, whether i’m doing a good job or not, whether my research is going well or i’m just delusional. i’ve started journaling my doubts and processes which will hopefully help me find ground again, but this phd life … gawd help me. anyway i got a new mug check it out ! so cute

i can’t say i’ve been very productive today because i spent most of my afternoon / evening watching over students taking an exam. but i sent some important emails and i went to pilates this morning. i’m taking wins where i can get them because life is hard :)

learning about korean art and drinking bts coffee. feeling very motivated to continue doing my thesis because i had a chat with my supervisor and he was very positive so :) yay

today i’m coping with my nostalgia for seoul coffee shops by working from my balcony. it didn’t work but hey at least there’s a fresh breeze

worked from the office today. planned out a whole paper so i’d say it was a win

today i went and got a spa treatment for the first time in my life. it was awesome. i feel so fresh

another day, yet another mention of franny choi. i’ve come to realise that my work tends to center around two main poets and idk how to feel about that ? because i genuinely don’t know if it’s because i like them or it’s because i haven’t looked around enough to find new ones. idk if this makes sense (im just rambling here) but it’s definitely related to my impostor syndrome acting up :/ anyway

spent an hour scanning a book but at least i have a homemade pdf i can scribble on. also: cat

current read: an asian american theology of liberation by wong tian an (for my thesis)

time is a mother by ocean vuong

current read: the liberators by e. j. koh