When You Think He Can't See You

I don’t know how the stereotype became that women are the hysterical ones. Have you seen most people’s fathers when a slight inconvenience happens

*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

i love how delusional some articles of clothing are, like you read the tag and its like “hand wash only/tumble dry on low” son you are a cotton tshirt. youre going in the warsh and whatever happens in there is in gods hands

love when creatures sniff your hand and are like. ah understood

🦀 ⬅️🆑🆎

🦎⬅️🆕️🅿️

🦜⬅️🅱️🆔

taking a class on sex this semester which has resulted in many fun things like "sex activity" and "sex final" being added to my planner. being very mature and serious about this .

i hate when a pump dispenser like shampoo or soap gets low and you have to jack it off and make it cum

hey remember when pop-ups and banner ads were associated with malware? when youtube didn't have any ads at all? when you could get a cheap netflix subscription that was better than cable TV? digital marketing experts estimate that most americans see 5-10k ads every day. what the hell is going on

thinking about how we have so many little rituals for wishes.... birthday candles, fallen eyelashes, 11:11, straw papers, dandelions, shooting stars, rainbows, wishbones, full moons...... the list is endless

why do app game advertisements think i want to save a king from a fate that i'm sure he probably deserves