Where No Wheat Has Gone Before

"Sex is what makes us human" is stupid. Almost every species fucks. Humans are the only species that jumps motorcycles over school buses that are on fire. Some other things too probably

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like "aw thanks elmo, we're doing well" meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay

this is the energy that jim henson would be proud of.

Always reblog this. Elmo and his friends will be there in your times of trial and doubt, to help you through your torment

Crushing news: shrinkflation so bad the funny number has decreased from 69 to 67

A 67 is when someone is blowing you so good you just gotta salute 'em

Imposter syndrome hitting hard these days. 4AM after calling out sick and i DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO THE THING I’M SUPPOSEDLY THE EXPERT ON THE TESM WHY AM I LIKE THIS WHY DID I DO THIS

Nothing more motivating to fix stuff than existential dread. Still weirded about getting paid (way too much) while still feeling like i do fucking *nothing*. Genuinely spent the last couple days playing Pokemon LeafGreen because i just didnt wanna work on stuff which I don’t know what’s mroe sad, the fact that i did that, or the fact that i get constant praise despite completely useless days.

Rest in peace king 🫡🫡🫡

it’s sinple from 9 to 5 u just gotta be workpilled you gotta be emailcore focusedwave it’s true a neurotypical told me and they’re normal so I believe tgem

We have to up our productivity to meet our quotas and improve our metrics. We should reach out to our client base with surveys and user feedback. That's not my department, but we need to restate our core values and create an action plan for a strategy that'll greatly synergize our output. But let's circle back to that later. We need to focus on our product. We need to produce content. We have to think outside the box and be proactive with our traditional culture. We've gotta return to the drawing board and address the elephant in the room. Do we have the tools to succeed in our tasks? We need more constructive feedback. This could be a game changer. We need to leverage our influence to really push the envelope and improve our portfolio. No need to reinvent the wheel, let's run this up the flagpole and touch base with management.

did you just put a curse on me I’m shaking

what if i made a point to always reblog day posts one day late