bows out

Okay im just gonna copy and paste from another ask about hpd vs npd we did.

From Furi:

"General the overlap between NPD and HPD is in wanting/seeking attention. But the key differences lie in the kind of attention. HPD wants any attention good or bad. Being seen as stupid or annoying is fine as long as you're still the centre of attention. NPD wants praise, good attention specifically. NPD would rather have no attention than be seen as lesser/stupid/annoying generally. NPD needs it to be positive attention that helps feed the ego. HPD needs to be seen above all else.

However I know covert NPD also likes pity and will play up needing help. But usually that's also for the practical benefits being pitied and being seen as needing help can get you not just the pity in of itself.

BPD tends to be less attention and more validation. BPD wants to be understood. To be told they are right and that there isn't something fundamentally wrong or unlovable about them. Also validation from just anyone tends to not be the trend. Usually it needs to be validated from specific people."

From me:

Agree with Furi, both want attention, but the underlying reasons are different. I'm gonna quote one of our friends for this

"An autistic person would not be able to tell whether someone is upset in tone alone (both due to impaired empathy and well...the rest) but a person with HPD specifically analyzes that. A person with HPD will absolutely carefully listen to your tone at all times. NPD usually forms from abuse, HPD usually forms from neglect. They don't really focus on whether that person likes them or not, they don't focus on “am i good enough?” or “am i likeable?” but rather focuses on feeling like some kind of “jester.” It doesn't matter whether the person dislikes them or not but it does matter whether they're entertaining enough to be around. “if i am annoying enough for you to keep up with me, its fine.” The matter of likeability is still a component but not the main thing. Also as funny as that sounds HPD is a lot more emotionally repressed than NPD, internally not externally. HPD is a disorder that internalizes the need to be noticed instead of becoming "vindictive" like NPD. So if you're in touch with the hatred you have for people that have wronged you that's another point for NPD rather than HPD."

I write to you with a heavy heart 💔 My children and I are going through very difficult times, and no one is asking about us. My son needs treatment and medication, and he needs milk, diapers, and urgent care. Please don't leave us alone in these difficult circumstances. 😔

We need your help. The situation is extremely difficult. You are our last hope. Food, clothes, milk, rent—everything has become incredibly expensive. My son, Ahmed, needs heart surgery and eye surgery. Please help my son so he can complete his treatment and undergo the operations. In addition to my family in Gaza, my parents, brothers, and sisters are also living in dire circumstances. Please help me for the sake of my family.

My name is Sharif, and I suffer from a back injury. I need intensive treatment and physical therapy to recover. Unfortunately, we lost everything in Gaza; we have no income and cannot work. The situation is extremely difficult.

PLEASE HELP 🙏🏽 EVEN A SIMPLE REPOST AND COMMENTING CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

https://www.tumblr.com/sar-soor/800243879780761600?source=share

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https://www.tumblr.com/a-shade-of-blue/777485404670656512/this-fundraiser-has-been-shared-by-nabulsi?source=share

Ahmed is suffering greatly. His condition is worsening because I can't afford his surgery; I keep postponing it. Every post I ignore means an extra hour of pain. Please donate; your help could save his life.

shared by @/nabulsi (current gfm), shared by 90-ghost (See screenshot of @90-ghost’s reblog of the fundraiser below) (old gfm)

/nabulsi is one of founders o Gaza Evacuation Funds is trusted because they are Palestinian run/managed. (

90-ghost is a Palestinian blogger who tries to find and support legitimate campaigns.

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1) SEE PINNED POST by@sadandmoresadder

- for more info on comms/fundraisers

I do commisions in exchange for proof of donations!! If you send me PROOF that you have donated to this fundraiser - you may receive - €5 - a sketch€10 - a drawing€15 - a coloured drawing€20+ - small painting€30+ - large painting

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more info belo

Inspired by @arrgh-whatever's post on helping ppl with BPD

Edit bc I forgot to add this: Being vulnerable means smth different for different ppl, something that could read as being vulnerable to you can read as just another Tuesday for someone else

[ID: a simply-drawn comic, narrated by a person coloured-in in pink.

Panel 1: The pink person narrates: "So there's a lot of "signs your ex is a narcissist and how to deal with them" and it's not very accurate. So here's how to actually "deal" with a narcissist from someone with narcissistic personality disorder."

Panel 2: This panel has the heading: "1. Supply." The pink person narrates: "People with NPD have very fragile self-esteem, and supply is what keeps us from having a mental breakdown. Supply can be many things, but often attention and praise are effective. Stuff like "Wow! That's super cool!!" can go a long way." A person is shown saying this to another person, who smiles.

Panel 3: This panel has the heading: "2. Criticism." The pink person narrates: "Oh boy. So narcissists take things as personal very easily. It's because if anyone contradicts our delusions that we have built our entire self-image on, it feels like you are attacking us as a person." There is an example shown, where one person says "hey, you were a bit too rude back there," but the other person hears "You're an awful dick no-one likes." The alternative manner of phrasing is suggested as "Hey, you were a bit too rude. You're cool, but some people took it poorly." The second person in this example thinks "I'm still a cool person. It's not my fault, but I can do things to be better." The narrator continues, "We don't really understand the concept of a harmless mistake."

Panel 4: This panel has the heading: "3. Boundaries." The pink person narrates: "With narcissists, setting down strict boundaries is very important. 1. Knowing we have hurt you because you didn't set down boundaries can really upset and annoy us because the delusions that we can do no wrong and know you best get broken. 2. If you let us break boundaries, it can lead us to see you as "weak" and devalue you. Communication is key."

Panel 5: This panel has the heading: "4. Anger." The pink person narrates: "So people with NPD tend to be prone to anger. This is a defense mechanism, because to us, it's either facing the inaccuracies of our delusions and having a mental breakdown, or blaming something else. We do not mean to lash out; we just don't have the skills to cope properly. You can help by: 1. Letting us express out emotions without judgement; 2. giving us praise or attention; and 3. Distracting us from what angered us." Each example of how to help is accompanied by a small cartoon.

Panel 6: This panel has the heading: "5. Other NPD things!" The pink person narrates: "'Love bomb, devalue, discard' is actually: we are genuinely obsessed with you and want you to recognize us as cool, we lose that obsession and move on, we feel threatened in some way and lash out. We can't really handle being seen as vulnerable. We take sympathy and empathy as pity and pity as you telling us we're weak. Not acknowledging we're being vulnerable and acting as if nothing is wrong can be helpful in these situations. People with NPD have a very warped view of reality. We do not mean to hurt you and often do not realise we have. Remember, this won't work for everyone, and talking is very important."

/end ID]

Every day I wake up hoping my mother will feel better. Every day I see the same pain, the same exhaustion, and the same struggle to breathe.

Her illness does not wait. Time does not wait. But we are still waiting for the help she desperately needs.

7 days have passed without a single donation, and we are still only €1,260 away from our goal.

Please, do not let our story disappear. If you can donate, even a small amount helps. If you cannot, please reblog and share. One person seeing this post could change my mother’s .