Why do I always find myself chasing the next fad diet or a new plan that will miraculously make me how I see myself in my mind (another blog)?  Geesh!  I tell myself it’s just to get me to a starting place.  I just need help losing the first 10-15 lbs. and then I’ll be motivated to do it on my own. But, I get suckered, buy them, lose 10+ lbs. and then something “sweeping” happens in my life and I’m back to my emotional eating habits that not only put the weight back on, but leave me feeling tired, depressed, and all the other adjectives that fit.  As much as I’m tired of chasing…I need something…I need something to motivate me enough to say enough is enough…my life is more important than anything that is “sweeping” across my journey.  I would have thought that being told that I had 18 months to live was enough.  I would have thought undergoing chemo for 2 years would have been enough.  Losing my hair, skin and pigment changes…severe fatigue and extreme pain…all of this should have been enough, right?  I’ve lost and gained 30 lbs. over the past few years.  How do I keep it off?  I need to not only lose this weight to make it easier on my lungs and heart.  I need to recondition my body, so that the simple tasks of life are no longer a serious strain.  I want to be able to walk to the kitchen without passing out, walk up the stairs with ease, go to the mailbox without my cane.  So, do I chase…until I get the permanent results that I need and want?  Or do I just stop chasing and take whatever comes with my health and that state of my body?
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