Madame Magpie

Two things have been forward in my mind this week. Wonder Woman and the Paris Climate Agreement.

I saw a lot of really awesome stuff coming out of the woodwork leading up to Wonder Woman, mostly centering in Austin, Texas. The “apology” from the Alamo Drafthouse is probably the best piece I saw to prepare me for the movie. I went in with thoughts of’ “We will kick ass, and we will take names.” OMG. She flipped a motherfucking tank. I know the heady rush of ripping 200 pounds up off the floor. I felt it when I watched her do it, and it made me feel like I could take on the world.

So I will. By planting flowers.

Not the real kind, deities forbid. No growing green thing should ever be given into my care. I can’t not be an activist these days. Too many things are at stake. For my own mental health, I have to focus on positive things. Among my top priorities are my home. My planet. Flowers grow on it, and I think they’re nice.

I watched, with dismay, as our government’s withdrawal from the Agreement was announced. Shortly after, I watched the support for it swell across the country. A little later I read an article about Sweden running out of trash. Then, my mind wandered down quite a rabbit hole after asking myself: What can I do?

It’s as easy as buying a different brand of facial tissue.

My favorite facial tissue comes in a box with a little plastic insert. That little insert makes me have to do an awful lot of work to recycle it. I have to completely tear the box open to peel the plastic out. If the plastic wasn’t there, then all I’d have to do is pop the ends open. Have you ever gotten a paper cut from tearing the long seam? Ouch. My second favorite doesn’t come with that bit of plastic.

I switched brands. Because I’m a lazy activist.

I made the switch because I saw what one money-saving alteration to a piece of packaging could do in positive global impact. I figured that, since they’re in the business of making money and employing people, I should start by appealing to their wallets. I’m assuming that fewer steps in the manufacturing process would cost them less time and electricity. I’m also assuming that not purchasing all that plastic would save them a boatload. Look what you saved, right there!

It goes even farther than that. That’s a piece of plastic I’m not throwing into a plastic bag in the trash. That gets hauled away to a sorting facility and then a landfill. In exhaust belching trucks. Out in the middle of nowhere, so this trash has a long way to travel. Yay, carbon savings! Oh, and then there’s everything that doesn’t happen because the plastic is no longer required: fewer pollutants and less oil drilling needed to support it. I’m also more likely to recycle that awful little box if I don’t have to work so hard to do it. How about a higher percentage of recycled paper to make the edges naturally more blunt? Oh, hey, you just make your boxes easier to recycle while creating a bigger demand for recycled paper. Which will spur the paper recycling industry to become more efficient to meet that demand. Oops. Is your carbon footprint getting smaller, while your wallet is getting fatter?

Hey, tissue company, all this goodness can be yours if you pander to certain sorts of laziness. Because folk are lazy. We’re comfortable in our ways, and if you want someone to make a change the path must be easy.

Have I tapped into Millennial thinking? I used to laugh, quietly to myself, at hipsters for their mason jars. I’ve been watching you trying new things however silly they may seem to me at the outset. But I watch. And I learn. I tried a couple of mason jars. I now have an embarrassing number of them, and no plastic food storage containers. Because they’re most convenient (read: I’m lazy), and there’s less plastic and trash in my life. One little change. So, yeah. Huge shoutout to Millennials! You keep that shit up. Keep trying stuff and making me laugh. Little changes have big impacts. I’ll be watching you turn this planet-scaled shit sandwich you’ve inherited into compost.

For planting flowers in.

I’ve spent the last year fretting over diet and trying any non-pharma treatment for my Crohn’s I could find, and living beyond my energy supply and crashing. I’m finally settling in to a sort of equilibrium. Not peace, yet, but a more sustainable balance. I believe peace is next on the menu, but more on that later.

I’ve found many new limits, gone to dark places, and learned the power of friendship. Through trial and error, and careful observation, I’ve found how to meter out my energy so I can be more active and present, overall. With that somewhat worked out, I can turn to making small changes to the way I live my life to make it even more comfortable. Or, less uncomfortable, depending on how I’m feeling that day.

I wake up, this morning, and sleepily survey my room. Note the placement of furniture and other objects. Visualize how I use each piece, or don’t. How I move around in the room on a typical day. Then, I remember an article I read years ago about how to make a truly functional kitchen. I’ve used the method successfully.

Remove everything from your kitchen. Over the course of a week or two, the only items that enter the kitchen are the things you need to use right now. Then, put them away in the location they’re most used. This can go quickly if you cook a lot. What’s left needs to be evaluated. If it’s regularly, if infrequently, used then find those things a home in your kitchen. Then, we get to the stuff used once or twice. Ask yourself if you really want to make that again. If yes, keep. Everything remaining leaves. I like to give my friends first crack at the discard pile before hauling it off to the thrift store.

I’m going to do this with my whole house. While I’m at it, I’ll evaluate every object based on what it contributes to my overall wellbeing. This idea occurred to me while I was munching on a bowl of rice. I got a set pretty little ceramic bowls at the thrift store because they made me smile. The luster of the glaze. The muted greens and browns. How it feels when I cradle it in my hand. I’m eating rice more often because I enjoy using these bowls. Who would have thunk it? I expect I’ll find several other things that might have an effect similar to the rice bowls. I’ll keep an eye out at the thrift store for more enjoyable versions of those things.

How about a twist? While redesigning my living space to suit my needs, I will also consider how guests will feel in the room. Will they be comfortable? I expect they will be, as the whole place will be designed around laziness. Will they feel welcomed by the room? Will they return because they enjoy being in the space? 

I can’t always go out so, why not make my home a fun destination? I have a few games, a well appointed kitchen, arts and craft supplies out the ass, a righteously kitted out sewing studio, a great porch for just sitting on. I like to cook, nutrition is important for me, but I hate cooking for just myself. Bring a project and we’ll be crafty bitches for an hour or an afternoon. Leave a stash of your favorite booze here for an after work cocktail hour. If it’s your day off and you're bored, come over and we’ll watch chick flix, or documentaries, or whatever.

I’ve leaned hard on my friends in the last several months. They’ve put in a lot of effort for me, so it’s my turn to roll up my sleeves. I look forward to more rice bowl moments. Little things that have unexpected, life improving consequences. Maybe I can spread a little of that around. 

Hopefully, someone else with a motherfucker of a disease reads this and this helps to design a little comfort into their lives. Or anyone, really.

I have Crohn’s Disease. Fuck those chemo drugs they want to put me on. Here’s how I make medicine from Cannabis that works for me.

So.  I have a French Press coffee maker dedicated to this specific task. 2 oz of high CBD, high quality flower/bud with enough Everclear 190 to cover it.

Let soak for 24 hours, mashing it around a bit every so often with a plastic spoon or silicon spatula.

Yeah, there’s some seeds, but whatever. I’m not smoking this, so I don’t give a rat’s ass. Then, put some water in a small saucepan and heat it up.

Put two 4oz mason jars in the water, press your gorgeous green extract, and pour into the jars. For this quantity, it will take a few pours during the evaporation process to empty the French Press.

Evaporate the alcohol. Candy thermometer helps, especially if you’re avoiding as much decarboxylation as possible. I neither want the high from THC, nor need THC specifically. For my Crohn’s, THCA and CBDA work better, so I don’t want to bring the heat up. I keep it under 200F to minimize decarboxylation.

You’ll end up with black-green goop in a couple of hours.

You can use it as-is. I prefer to bulk it back up to 3 fluid ounces with coconut oil after this. Makes vagaries in dosing a little less extreme. 

If you prefer, or need, to decarb, put it in the oven for an hour at 240F while it’s still the near-black goop. Get an oven thermometer for this. Then add, or don’t add carrier oils, as you please.

I bought a peach today. They smelled so good, I couldn't stop myself. Now, trying to figure out when/if to eat it, because I have to work for the next 4 days.

Because I. WILL. PAY., should I indulge.