Mitsu_1325

Tango: You shouldn't be using a straw

Zed: I know, it's bad for the environment or whatever

Ren: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity 

Xisuma: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Pearl: They’re for the dogs

Xisuma: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs

Pearl: They don’t know how *exasperated sigh*

(Impulse is trapped in a room because the door got messed up)

Tango: We need to get through this locked door to get Impulse out. Zed, give me your credit card

Zed: Here

Scar: People say I have a unique way of lighting up a room

Kidnapper: I have your girlfriend

Pearl: What? I don’t have a girlfriend

Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spat in my face

Pearl: Oh my god, you have Gem

Beef: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Cleo: Milfs.  Joe: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Beef: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

BDubs: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

BDubs: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

Joe: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Beef: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Beef: NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

BDubs: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Cleo: What? No! It isn't!

BDubs: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

Joe: BDubs… 

BDubs: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

Joe: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

BDubs: BEEF, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Beef: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Cleo: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

Grian: BWAAAAAA! Do you hear that? That’s the wrong opinion alarm

Mumbo: That is not something you actually have installed

Grian: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke

Mumbo: Okay, but what is updog?

Ren: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish

Pearl: No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

Impulse: No, that’s an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden

Scar: Surely that’s Uppsala, where updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter

Grian: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

Pearl: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current

Ren: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway

Mumbo: What’s a henway??

Stress: Baby vibes … hold gentle … like hamburger

Pearl: What’s it like being tall?

Ren: Is it nice? Tango: Can you comfortably reach the cupboards

Mumbo: We live in constant fear of those who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table, and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want

Grian: It was one time!

Pearl: You really put aside everything and came all the way here for me? How did you even get here so fast? Mumbo: Several traffic violations

Impulse: Three counts of resisting arrest

Scar: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks

Grian: Also, that’s not our car

Mumbo: *hugging Grian*

Scar: Hey! It's my turn to hug Grian

Scar: *grabs Mumbo*

Ren: *kicks down door* what do you mean "yOuR tUrN" We agreed now is my time slot

Mumbo: No it's still my turn

Grian: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly!

Scar: But we need the moral support

Mumbo: And you're small! Which is cute!

Ren: If I don't hug you right now, I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning

Doc, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down

Grian: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven

Xisuma, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Doc, spraying Grian: You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Grian: Dude, I forgot-

Doc: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo and you fucking MELT the cutting board at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Xisuma: You know those things will kill you, right?

Grian, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point

Evil Xisuma, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process

Pearl: I’m a reverse necromancer

Gem: Isn’t that just killing people

Mumbo: We need a new way to lure in customers

Pearl: Maybe we could have fun interactive events

Scar: Grian bath water

Grian: ABOSLUTELY NOT !!!!