had a dream i walked up to a food stall and they tried to sell me 3 takoyaki for $130 and i was so mad that i woke myself up before completing the transaction. idiot lost their customer to the waking world lol. charge less next time.

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

always remember that the “genius serial killer” narrative is a blatant cover for the fact that the police will always look the other way when it comes to white cis men exhibiting blatantly violent and hateful behavior

Important to remember that people like Jeffrey dahmer targeted minorities because cops did not care about violence against them. It’s not just cops being incompetent, it’s the systematic violence, racism, classism, transphobia, and homophobia in the police system

Bro wants to be a fop but he's barely dapper

Bro called himself bohemian with zero joie de vivre

tinder link in bio.

*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?

I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves

her pussy

OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.