*Unhinged Screeching*

SMOKED SALMON IS THE ONLY THING THAT NUMBS THE PAIN

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

“must everything be homoerotic” no. but many things are, you will find

and if not, rest assured. I will find a way

We really went from "free the nipple" to "um the public didn't consent to you wearing a choker"

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

so ive been meaning to do this poll for a while because my hypothesis is that seattle is the most Tumblr city, likely in the entire world. tumblr has a huge american majority userbase obviously, but just for comparison going forward, only 0.22% of the american population lives in seattle. as of this reblog, this poll is showing 4% of respondents are seattleites. given, this isnt scientific at all, because my blog just has a lot of seattle connections and seattle followers, but it's still an impressive bias

idk who needs to hear this but ‘texting and driving’ actually is about driving & looking at ur phone for any reason including typing new directions into your damn maps app or choosing a song. stop swerving into my lane looking up a playlist to commit vehicular manslaughter to. ‘i wasn’t technically texting’ aint gonna hold up in court babes

holy shit have you evver tried this new substance called album in order

so cool how a quail has the little bonus feather on top its simply divine