[cries in german]

Do you guys ever see your pet sleeping by you and just think holy shit holy shit this little animal feels safe enough and trusts me enough to be near me and fall asleep near me and just how fucking cool is that

Yeah… :(

Oh my fucking god 😂

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

SO COOL

P H Y S I C S

I’ve watched this too many times .

ok who gonna go pick that up tho :/

he was passing it to the fish it’s their turn to play

Make Chester an indoor cat

L E T H I M I N

THE DAMN CAT JUST WANT A COZY HOME DAMN IT LETHIMIN

Wow

that’s the kind of thing I like to see

he’s not even mad he just sits back down

Church is free.

I can’t afford it.

@alienloki

zendaya if you’re reading this i have feelings for you

zendaya if you’re reading this we all have feelings for you

2012 was truly the PEAK of music. call me maybe? iconic. somebody that i used to know? iconic. what makes you beautiful? iconic. some nights? iconic. starships? iconic. whistle? iconic. everybody talks? iconic. party rock anthem? iconic. boyfriend? iconic. THE LIST GOES ON. we will never again experience a similar period of bop after bop.

This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.

WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????

Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

can u believe some people can see a cat & not immediately be filled with absolute unconditional love for that animal. they dont even get the urge to kiss them right on their little baby cat head. thats incomprehensible to me

@alienloki