Famdam

i’m cackling at this “hey man” this poor awkward 12 yr old is so awkward he literally bro’d his crush like tag your fuckin self i’m percy

When I was in 8th grade a friend of mine and I were fucking around during our study period and he accidentally stabbed me in the arm with a pencil and the pencil was partially stuck in my arm but I was really shy in social situations so I just raised my hand and waited for the teacher to notice which took about five minutes so when he finally asked me what I needed I said “TJ accidentally stabbed me with a pencil a few minutes ago and now it’s hanging out of my arm, can I go see the nurse?”. He freaked out and yelled “OH MY GOD SEBASTIAN WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME RIGHT AWAY?” And I said right back “please don’t yell at me, I have a pencil in my arm, if anyone is yelling it should be me” and that sums up my attitude and personality fairly well tbh

I think we can all agree that Jason is just a huge dork, not the almighty character Uncle Rick portrays him as

Seven huge dorks shall answer the call, Whether tripping or slipping, they will probably fall

This is the best post ive seen in a while

I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

Jill. Jill you are wonderful.

Anyway, I hope that girlfriends Clarisse la Rue and Silena Beauregard are doing well and carrying a good life full of happiness.

*cough* James *cough*

I AM SO FUCKING DONE

He’s so intense and then the hospital staff!!

@tabbran please add lemon man story to this

This is beautiful.

he came back and apologised for making me wait for him but he said he made a sandwich and a coffee and now he’s chilling at his desk having a bite to eat and we’re just hanging out watching my percentage climb.

im getting jack of the silence so i asked him where he’s from bc he has an accent and theres a slight delay and he said he’s in the philippines so now we’re talking about the girl who won silver in the weightlifting at rio and he’s so proud of her its adorable.

apparently it’s the first medal the philippines has won since the olympics in 1996 so this woman is a hero over there rn. i love hearing underdog stories i want to hear more.

This is fucking adorable.