It's a little insane in here

i do not ghost purposely i just have no idea what to say ever

and i have no concept of passage of time

I actually can’t believe Buck and Tommy broke up because they both wanted a future together.

The reason I don't like "I'm not your last, I'm your first" is because it perpetuates this very common idea that you have to have a ton of experience in order to know what you want. I'm not judging the people to whom this sexual ethic applies, I'm just tired of being told it's the only correct way to experience relationships and sex. It alienates the people who have thriving, lasting relationships with the first person they date or the first person they have sex with. Notwithstanding that Tommy isn't Buck's first, just his first man, and I don't really see why that makes a difference.

I’m just gonna say, the difference in Lou and Oliver’s responses to this speak volumes.

Honestly I think what pisses me off more than the poor writing of the episode (having Abby be connected to them, the basketball tickets, the dumbass breakup reason) is them preparing interviews immediately after saying “yeah it’s all over no chance no way” because Lou seemed shocked by it, like he genuinely didn’t know it was ending so abruptly. And Oliver seemed to brush it off like he didn’t give a fuck. I don’t know who decides when interviews come out, but they should’ve let that rest a bit. Give us a second to come to terms with it. Hell, drag us on and make us wonder if he’d be back. I love hearing from Lou, but he wasn’t a main and didn’t need an exit interview. And we didn’t need Oliver bragging about how much he wants to make out and have sex scenes with multiple men and women now that Buck is bi. It was just all in really poor taste.

There was supposed to be more. You cannot convince me otherwise. It was not supposed to end there. I don’t know if it was at Oliver’s level, or Tim’s level, or higher up, but somewhere things got screwy. There was supposed to be meaning behind the Evan’s, and not just so when he uses Buck it stings. There was a reason they had him be friends with Eddie. There was a reason they brought back an established character to play this role, so he was intertwined with the 118 without the awkwardness. A reason to have him be a firefighter and a pilot. There was a reason for him constantly bringing up his desire for family. It was supposed to mean something, until someone somewhere decided it didn’t.

Other people have said this better than I van but genuinely, the care, love, and thought that Lou put into his performance of Tommy means so much to me. Here is a presumed straight man, giving this level of devotion to a gay character, being genuinely enthusiastic, and interacting so sweetly with his fans. And being so earnest in interviews. He's made a lifelong fan out of me, and despite how devastated I am at this ending for him, I'm so glad this show introduced me to him.

at the end of the day we lost another canon queer ship and that really fucking sucks especially after election day so i think its okay to be upset at a silly little procedural drama and its okay to cry over the representation that we lost