Still suffering

If someone does triggering things and they know it's triggering but do it anyway, they don't care about you

My existence is pointless. I don't want to be here. I don't deserve to be here.

I love how my family knows I have OCD and what triggers it but still continue to do those things because they'd be mildly inconvenienced while I'm almost having a panic attack doing the compulsions that come afterwards

Things are exactly how I left them BUT I should probably do a tiring, time consuming ritual just to be safe

Whenever someone catches me doing a compulsion I get all anxious and fuck up what I was doing cause I'm trying to look ""normal"" and end up having to start over cause what just happened was worse than the reason I started in the first place

Everyone is probably tired of hearing me say this but I literally cannot wait to die

Knowing you'll likely be alone and friendless forever cause ocd has completely taken over and you can't leave the house, your compulsions are out of control and asking people not to do triggering things is too much because everything is a trigger.

OCD is cool because I literally cannot escape any of my triggers and I'm so fucking tired

Anyway, I'm ready to die like there is really no reason to stay at this point and I'm tired

I love how I'm the selfish one for being suicidal and not all the people who want me alive even though I'm miserable

Finding a therapist is so hopeless like wow what is even the point?

High key jealous as fuck of everyone who isn’t suicidal or mentally ill

v upset that I didn’t die in my sleep last night

The whole “people love you” thing people say to those who are suicidal doesn’t help me because I know they do and I wish they didn’t cause I wanna fucking die

OCD literally makes me wanna kill myself !!