you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

"alas" is a truly S tier english word. fantastic mouthfeel, makes me sound like a world-weary wizard, looks cool when written out. good job to whoever created this word.

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

that? oh thats the mysterious bruise i got thursday , #mybruise

‘how would other people describe you’ why would i know this

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

not a caller not a texter but a secret third thing

don’t contact me. ever

cherry bomb voice Hello tumblr hello blog

work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

still being active on tumblr is camp

this post is gonna blow up even more when op deactivates

i'll outlive everything you love

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor

tumblr giving us the option to sort likes oldest -> newest is kind of diabolical. babygirl that was 2012. I was 14. I’m 28 now. That was half my life ago. And you’re just gonna let me and moots put each other on blast? PvP website for real

Bugs Bunny accidentally transformed the word nimrod into a synonym for idiot because nobody got a joke where he sarcastically compared Elmer Fudd to the Biblical figure Nimrod, a mighty hunter.

Etymology is ridiculous and terrifying sometimes

Bugs Bunny is more powerful than God

He also solidified the idea of rabbits loving carrots when carrots actually carry very little nutritional value for rabbits. The funniest part of that is that the original joke was a reference to a Clark Gable film where Gable munches on a carrot, it was never meant to imply that rabbits love carrots. The Clark Gable reference would’ve been obvious to audiences in the 40s but it has been pretty much lost to time.

Bugs Bunny has too much power and should be feared.