mirror !! 🐇 💗

My horsemen of the apocalypse! I will add the original commentary and some extras, less about the symbolism and more about what brought me to design them the way I did.

The symbolism is for you to chose, there is no wrong answer.

WAR

I can't bring myself to represent war with a cool knight. It's horror. War is a bound child crowned with shrapnel, tied to a wounded horse that is being pulled forward by unseen people.

I've read a handful of books regarding war. A lost quote said that it should be shown as horror, it should make generals vomit, it should make you sick. I haven't seen war but my family has.

It was the first horseman I've designed, and it was in my sketchbook for months (maybe over a year, maybe even more) before I had the courage to draw it. I was really scared about how people would react to a mutilated child.

Recommended reading: The Red Crown - Mikhail Bulgakov, a short story about a man coping with the loss of his brother in the war

FAMINE

Someone who lived thro a famine shared that their head was only occupied with thoughts of food. Famine consumes your mind. All animals were eaten. Neighbors gave their pets away cuz they couldn't do it themselves. People walked around town as if in a dazed dream, slowly

Recommended reading: The Last Witnesses - Svetlana Alexievitch, a collection of testimonials of people who were children when WW2 began. Some quotes below;

'''A cat! A cat!' Other children saw it and started chasing it. The educators were local habitants, looked at us as if we were insane. In Leningrad there were no living cats left...A living cat was a dream. Food for one month...We talked about it, but they didn't believe us.''

''During the first year of evacuation, we didn't notice nature, everything that was nature provoked in us only one desire - taste to see if it's edible. Only a year later I noticed the beauty of the Urals''

''I dreamt of catching a sparrow and eating it...''

''A candle burns and the shopgirl cuts the bread pieces. People follow her with their gaze. Her every movement...with burning eyes...crazed...and all that in silence.''

''People walked slowly through the city like shadows. Like in a dream...a deep dream...As in, you see it, but you think you're seeing a dream. Those sluggish movements...floating...As if a person walked on water and not on land.''

''In Leningrad there are a lot of monuments, but one is missing that should exist. They forgot about it. The monument to the dogs of the seige. Dear doggy, forgive me...''

I don't like talking about it. It made no sense to draw Famine with a horse.

PESTILENCE

Based on the notes of a doctor who said the most frightening thing about viral disease was how it didn’t frighten. People didn’t know or didn't care. They lived and spread until it was too late and they became another name on the record

The clothing being made out of shredding plastic is no coincidence; pollution is a form of pestilence too

Recommended reading: Notes from a Countryside Doctor - Mikhail Bulgakov. Roughly translated quote below;

''Ah, I verified that here syphilis was frightening precisely because it did not frighten. That was why I evoked that woman.* I remembered her with a kind of affectionate respect: because she had been afraid. But she was the only one!''

*Early in the chapter, doctor mentions a woman that appeared in the clinic with a letter from her soldier husband, where he wrote that he had syphilis and told her she should go to the doctor too.

DEATH

Recommended reading: Voices of Chernobyl - Svetlana Alexievitch. The Death of Ivan Ilitch - Lev Tolstoi

“Death is the fairest thing in the world. No one's ever gotten out of it. The earth takes everyone - the kind, the cruel, the sinners. Aside from that, there's no fairness on earth.”

Death is the only horseman that doesn’t need to mount their horse; they will reach everyone eventually. Who is the saddle for then? Open ended question because this one you have to figure out personally

Many people pointed out how the horse is a Clydesdale. Good eyes! I purposefully asked a friend to guide me towards what type of horses are the sturdiest and most-friendly looking. I drew the horse grazing. It's not injured, it doesn't gallop. It's grazing peacefully because life moves on.

This is the only design that had a painting serve as a base - The Reaper, by Alexey Venetsianov. Not much or nothing at all is written about, I saw it in a book. It is a literal reaper but it haunted me, as if it's portraying more than a person.

The choice to make it a woman was due to a book about a crematory (Smoke Gets in Your Eyes - Caitlin Doughty) that connected women to death because everyone born is bound to die.

Ahhh, I don't want to give it all away. It's fun to figure things out. About them all. From the enviroment, to the movement, to the horses themselves. Many people even mentioned details that I did not notice and didn't add purposefully that were so inspired and amazing. I truly mean that the interpretations of the public enrich the works even more than my own words. And it's an honor to share that work with everyone.

And though the Fae in this book are often described as sort of unearthly beautiful, it's really never meant to be sexy. They're beautiful by and large in a cold and terrifying way. Like, they might drag you around partying for a while, but then they slit your throat and hang you from a tree with no warning at all, and your friends and loved ones never know what happened to you. And the story does address this as a legitimate concern in terms of Wendell's and Emily's relationship. It's totally possible that he could some day become a mad King of Faerie, and her friends try to warn her repeatedly. Wendell is aware of their warnings, and in some stories the love interest would storm about in anger and disbelief that anyone could doubt him or he would laugh it off, but Wendell being Wendell, he's pleased that her friends care enough about her to voice their concerns and he acknowledges that this is a real threat. In the end, he knows Emily is a genius, and he trusts her to stop him from tumbling headlong into disaster, as she's done time and time again. And Emily does consider these concerns as well. But if Emily is anything, she's confident in her knowledge and abilities. She doesn't refuse to believe that her beloved is incapable of being like other Fae, quite the opposite, she acknowledges his occasional strange, uncanny otherness multiple times and the fact that he could go mad. She does everything in her power to keep this from happening, and we have every reason to believe that this will continue to be the case.

Then there's the age old issue of human/immortal age gaps that so many similar books face. Emily Wilde books side step this issue nicely by making Wendell very similar in age to Emily. He's not some 500 year old dude hitting on a 30 year old, he's a teenager when he's driven out of Faerie, and he ultimately comes of age in the human world at about the same time as Emily. This takes away the kind of creepy aspect of someone hooking up with someone young enough to be their great-great-grandaughter, and it gives a nice excuse for Wendell to be less cruel and mad than other Faerie monarchs as well.

And even though I keep saying these books don't make the Fae sexy, that's not to say the books are sterile and chaste. Emily and Wendell do eventually have a sexual relationship, but it comes along very naturally, from people who start out as coworkers and academic rivals and grow to become friends and then partners and then co-rulers and spouses. When they have sex it just feels like two people who love each other and enjoy each other's company, not like some wild outburst of edgy, sexy, repressed desires. (Again, no hate if that's your thing.)

And maybe the best thing about their mortal/immortal relationship is that Emily doesn't have to change herself or abandon everything she held dear for Wendell. Emily goes through a brief phase where she tries to fit into the beauty standards of the Fae, and then she quickly realizes that's stupid and she's better off being herself. And Wendell never cared about any of that at all, he's too busy just adoring her scholarly obsessions. Many stories ask the mortal heroines to leave behind their loved ones and lives for their immortal lover, but again, Emily Wilde does it better. Wendell immediately recognizes that academia is Emily's first love. He sets her up with a library, endless journals, and most importantly, multiple points of access to the mortal realm, where she can go to research in peace, continue her connection with Cambridge, publish her work, and of course, present at the occassional academic conference now that her career has taken off.