Yikes

so i asked him how its going, and he’s telling me hes stuck on father gascione, and cleric beast gave him hours of trouble. i was like “oh damn at least you beat it tho, gascione is really a test of how good you are at the gun parrys” -“…gun parries?” - yeah! omg, if you shoot something right before it attacks you’ll like stun it for a big hit, im sorry i shouldve told you -“guns?? you get guns in this game?” - yeah..you get the gun along with your main weapon - “????”

1: Gabrielle is placed under a sleeping curse which is broken when Xena kisses her (on the lips)

2: Xena’s ghost possesses someone’s body and makes out with Gabrielle (who totally knows it’s her and would never kiss the guy she’s possessing)

3: Xena and Gabrielle’s reincarnations find each other, remember their past life together, and then get married

4: Xena refers to Gabrielle as the father of her child

5: Xena and Gabrielle consistently referring to each other as their “soul mate” 

6: Xena stays sane and keeps from breaking during torture by imagining Gabrielle doing a sexy dance

7: This:   

Pearls are mostly Calcium Carbonate. When they mix with acids (such as those in wine) they produce carbon dioxide like little balls of fancy alkaseltzer.

Does this mean that Peach used to be a Toadette?

Do we have a canon explanation for why the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom looks like a human???

IS TOADETTE PEACH’S ONE TRUE HEIR???

HAS BOWSER ALWAYS BEEN A MUSHROOM FUCKER???????

me: run larps and tabletop games lol

prospective employers: so what do you do in your spare time

me: