My honest confusion with non-duality + manifestation:
In the non-duality manifestation space, I keep hearing that “you already have your desires because you are your desires. You are everything.”
And okay — I get the idea on a conceptual level:
If I’m everything, then nothing is outside of me. So I don’t have to go out and “get” my desire, because I already am the version of me that has it.
But where I get stuck is… how does this actually apply to my real life?
They say “You’re not meant to do anything because you already have everything.” But if I already have everything, then why don’t I see it?
Why does it still look and feel like I don’t have it?
It’s really frustrating because I want to live a happy life. I want to understand this. But no matter how many times I tell myself, “I have it” — I still go to sleep in the same room, live the same day, face the same problems. So… now what? Am I just supposed to carry on in this life I don’t enjoy, pretending I’m in a different one?
> “You’re experiencing this life because you’re identifying with it.”
“Nothing’s changing because you keep affirming it’s not changing.”
So I’m like — okay, should I change my thoughts? what should I change them to?
But then again im like wait… I thought thoughts don’t matter?
I thought I’m supposed to detach from thoughts, from identity, from methods — and that it’s all just about “being.”
But how do I be something I can’t see or feel?
How do I “just know” when my brain is screaming that I don’t?
And isn’t saying “I have it” still a method? How long am I supposed to keep saying it for, especially when I don’t believe it?
It all starts to feel circular — like no matter where I go, I hit another contradiction.
And then there’s this whole idea of becoming a new version of yourself.
Let’s say I’ve been Lara for 15 years. I’ve lived Lara’s life. I’ve thought Lara’s thoughts.
Now I discover non-duality and decide I want to be Lola.
But how am I supposed to suddenly be Lola when all of my life still reflects Lara?
I still go to Lara’s school. I have Lara’s friends. I live in Lara’s house.
Even if I say, “I’m Lola now,” Lara’s world is still right in front of me.
So… am I meant to ignore it? Pretend it doesn’t exist? Keep saying I’m Lola until the world eventually matches?
Wouldn’t that be… a method too?
And even if I try to change my thoughts — how do I just change them?
Lara’s thoughts are wired into me. I’ve been conditioned for 15 years.
Is that just supposed to fall away because I decided one day “I’m different now”?
And if I ignore everything around me, what about the real responsibilities I still have?
Lara has school to go to, people relying on her. Can she just stop showing up for that?
I’m not rejecting these ideas — I’m just honestly confused about how to live them.
Not as a theory. Not as a philosophy. But in actual, day-to-day life, as someone who’s grown up with conditioning, a personal identity, and practical obligations.
How do I embody something that feels completely opposite to the life I’ve always lived?
How do I balance this with the fact that Lara still exists in the world — at least for now?
If I'm not supposed to use methods, not supposed to rely on thoughts, not supposed to change anything or "do" anything… then truly — what do I do?
ok im gonna try to answer this as best as i can
1. "But where I get stuck is… how does this actually apply to my real life?" - it sounds like you're still separating by calling it your "real" life. but what makes it more real? just cause you can see it? the core of nd is that there is no separation, so already you're seeing it from the wrong pov by saying your "real" life, implying theres an "unreal" one.
2. "But if I already have everything, then why don’t I see it? Why does it still look and feel like I don’t have it?" - why are you so focused on if you see it or not? your knowing is ALL that matters. if i told you you had a million dollars in your account, but you couldnt see it, would you still consider yourself poor? no, you would know you were rich. you have to stop giving sight any sort of importance bcs its truly meaningless.
3. "But no matter how many times I tell myself, “I have it” — I still go to sleep in the same room, live the same day, face the same problems. So… now what? Am I just supposed to carry on in this life I don’t enjoy, pretending I’m in a different one?" - so you're saying you have it, but you continue to recognize and claim the fact that you dont have it. thats the issue right there. its not abt how many times you tell yourself something, its abt what you KNOW. knowing isnt a thought. its not a belief or a feeling. its just your being. and based on what you wrote, it looks like instead of knowing you have it, you only know you dont. and again, youre saying "pretending," which goes right back to you not thinking its real. stop with the separation.
4. "But then again im like wait… I thought thoughts don’t matter? I thought I’m supposed to detach from thoughts, from identity, from methods — and that it’s all just about “being.” - you're right, thoughts dont matter! it only matters if you IDENTIFY with them, which is what you're doing. i can say 50 times im bald, but i know thats not true, thus thats not my reality. but youre saying you dont have it, taking that as fact, as YOUR knowing, so it reflects.
5. "But how do I be something I can’t see or feel?"- being = awareness = knowing. its the same way you know your heart exists even tho you cant see or feel it. theres no secret, its just being aware of what was always there
6. "Even if I say, “I’m Lola now,” Lara’s world is still right in front of me. So… am I meant to ignore it? Pretend it doesn’t exist? Keep saying I’m Lola until the world eventually matches? Wouldn’t that be… a method too?" - yes, you ignore it. you stop giving it power. you stop claiming it as YOUR world and you continue to know youre lola. thats not a method bcs there is no procedure. you're simply being. but you're seeing it as pretending, which lets me know you dont actually know its yours.
7. "And if I ignore everything around me, what about the real responsibilities I still have? Lara has school to go to, people relying on her. Can she just stop showing up for that?" - ignoring doesnt mean you stop doing. it means disregarding. refusing to acknowledge. if lara has to go to school, who cares? you know your lola. nothing changes that. thats ignoring
8. "What am I being? What am I knowing?" you're being the you that has the desire. not the one thats waiting for it, or hoping for it. you just know. same way you know youre a human. you dont do anything to know, you just do. you be.
9. "How do I embody something that feels completely opposite to the life I’ve always lived?" - its hard, i know, but only you can do that for yourself. ask yourself if you really want to continue living in the old story. if not, then you need to lock in. dont give up. refuse to take no for an answer.
9. "How do I balance this with the fact that Lara still exists in the world — at least for now?" this is your issue, you still see it as real existence when its not. just because you see it, doesn't make it real, only what you KNOW does. what you "see" is just an illusion. an old story. an echo. it has nothing to do with you so dont give it importance.
10. "If I'm not supposed to use methods, not supposed to rely on thoughts, not supposed to change anything or "do" anything… then truly — what do I do?" - you just be. you decide the new story and you stick to it. you know thats your truth. how to know if you rlly know? if you're aware of the fact that you have it and you're refusing to entertain any idea that says you don't. thats knowing. thats being.
i hope this answered all ur questions!!
