First Shift
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Sade Olutola

JVL
art blog(derogatory)
wallacepolsom


⁂
i don't do bad sauce passes
dirt enthusiast
cherry valley forever
Not today Justin
Peter Solarz
NASA
we're not kids anymore.
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Three Goblin Art

tannertan36

Janaina Medeiros

seen from United States

seen from Türkiye

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Romania

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Romania

seen from Türkiye

seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
@mimblizzy
First Shift

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
May I add some Bloody to your Mary with a dash of Adrian-Simon bestism?
Your ex has been shot into space to save the sun. Your new boyfriend Mark has just been left on Mars as his mission to find resources to prevent earth from cooling took a horrbile turn.
Your name is Linda and some woman named Eva Stratt has just handed you two nickles.
Southern Comfort Food, Episode 18 - Red Beans and Rice
Getting someone to idly graze on food while listening to some hot goss seems to work quite well!
RIP Dr. Dubois and Dr. Shapiro you would have loved explaining human reproduction to Eridians.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Simon's 'rescue' mini fic
Simon was dead.
He was dead and he was in fucking hell.
The last thing he remembered was the sub exploding. Or maybe imploding. It wasn't like he could see what happened, so he had to assume it was exploding.
Every orifice was clogged with thick, oozing blood. His ears, his mouth, his nose. His eyes were squeezed shut, and he knew if he opened them he'd probably only see red. Every wheezing, aching breath tasted of iron, and he swore he was sucking in more blood than air. He practically choked on it, but never seemed to be drowning.
That's how he knew he was dead. He was somewhere deep at the bottom of the blood ocean, his corpse mutating into something unrecognizable. He was more relieved than anything to be dead and in hell than alive and cognizant of whatever religious bullshit he'd been dealing with before. At least he hadn't succumbed to that…that hive mind shit.
He was floating, too. Which was a pretty damn good indicator of being dead. People didn't float. He was sure fucked up blood mutations didn't float either.
His clogged senses were something of a blessing. He couldn't hear the taunting of voices or the gurgles of unknown creatures lurking. Just his muffled heartbeat.
His heartbeat?
Simon was pretty certain that he shouldn't have that. Since he was dead and all.
He hastily reached up to wipe at the blood and muck obscuring his eyes and nearly slipped off of whatever he'd been clinging to. One of his arms - right, there had been that whole fucked up thing where he's pretty sure it got ripped off. Definitely don't think too hard about that, Simon.
He managed to tug himself a bit further onto the makeshift raft he was on, attempting again to clean his face and eyes of blood. It was caked on so thick it made no difference. No light peeked through, but if he had to guess that had more to do with this fucked up moon than the blood itself. He could feel thick rivulets of the stuff running down his face, quickly squeezing his eyes shut to avoid blinding himself further.
So he was….alive. For the most part. Now that the fact of it was settling in, Simon realized how much his body fucking ached.
His head, his face, every bare surface of skin. He ached and burned all over, the pain only dulled by it having been so constant. His arm - the one he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about at all - ached in a way that he was pretty certain meant it was no longer functioning. Or there. Which, yeah, that ….that made sense.
The thought had him gagging, but he swallowed back what he could, shaking his head a little.
“Fuckin’ - don' fuckin’ puke…..Don' puke. Puking ‘s gonna make this a thousan’ times worse” he muttered, the blood so thick in his ears that his voice sounded muffled even to himself. Speaking felt like trying to get his mouth around a bite full of jelly, his tongue clumsy with the sheer amount of blood on it.
God, he hoped he hadn’t swallowed too much already. Simon didn't exactly wanna end up becoming a religious-freak-monster if he could help it. Though, if he kept floating around like this for long enough he was sure he would.
He was beginning to resign himself to floating in blood for eternity when something big splashed into the blood next to him.
The waves it caused washed over him, sending him tumbling and choking into the blood, his grip on his makeshift life raft failing and slipping. He fought against the torrent of disturbed blood, barely managing to get his head above this surface, every limb fighting to keep him afloat. He sucked in a choked, gasping breath, desperately writhing in an attempt to not immediately begin sinking again.
Somehow, between the bloody waves and the lack of enough limbs to fight the force of the current, Simon managed to keep himself afloat for long enough to realise what was happening.
He was being rescued.
They had come back for him. They had come back for him and were trying to save him.
Fuck trying to save humanity, he wanted out. He wanted to live.
They were rescuing him and he'd be damned if he missed this opportunity. He managed to flail his way to the object that had splashed down, his fingers scrambling against the smooth surface for a moment before catching on what felt like some sort of opening. It hissed and fell open, Simon scrambling to climb inside. It was tiny and cramped, and he somehow felt like it wasn't meant to fit a whole person.
Maybe it wasn't a rescue, then, but a retrieval.
He tried not to think too hard about what they’d be retrieving.
Blood nearly filled the small space, Simon only just able to keep his head, mouth and nose above the surface of the thick liquid, his shuddering, painful breaths filling the small space. If not for the blood in his ears, the echoing of it might have driven him crazy.
The opening he'd crawled through suddenly closed, the little light he'd been using to navigate suddenly cut off as it sealed shut.
Rescue or not, Simon had made his choice.
Not even a second later, he was being lifted.
Blood sloshed inside the small space, Simon gasping and coughing as he was forced to hold his breath, attempting to stabilize himself with his remaining arm as he was jostled.
His head hit one of the walls, sending exploding pain throughout his entire skull. One more concussion couldn't hurt, surely.
He gritted his teeth against the pain, spitting blood and viscera from his mouth, trying his damndest to just breathe and hold on.
He was being rescued, whether they liked it or not. He was alive. And they wouldn't be pulling a damn corpse out of this thing.
And that was the last thought he had before his head slammed into the wall again and he was out like a light.
–-----
When he came to, his skull was thrumming with pain, wave after wave of blinding ache making his stomach rolled with nausea.
His sense were still fucked - his ears and nose clogged with blood, his mouth tasting of the thick, foul substance. His eyes were caked in it, but when he peeked them open a little, he could see light. A lot of light.
More than he’d had in the sub, even.
It almost was like-
Something blocked the light out a bit, a presence just in front of him. He jolted back, scrambling backward until his back was pressed against some sort of wall.
There was sound, muffled and garbled. Simon shook his head in an attempt to clear the blood from his ears, wiping at his eyes.
It was still mostly just light, his eyes filled with blood and unable to focus.
Bright, white light made him squint, the red film over his eyes doing little to subdue it. Like it had some sort of supernatural source.
Whatever had blocked the light out before did so once more, a figure taking shape, their head haloed perfectly by the light.
His ears were still clogged, but he managed to pick out the garbled words.
“....Hail Mary….fjej…Grace…”
The words made his blood run cold. Of fucking course this was some religious fucking bullshit again.
Simon scrambled for something-anything to defend himself with.
At best, it wouldn't even be real. A hallucination in his final moments. At worse, it was another fucking religious freak trying to get him to do God-knows-what.
His hands managed to close around something sharp and metallic on the floor next to him, fingers slipping a bit in the thin film of blood that coated it.
He managed to get his feet under him and launched himself at his assailant, ignoring the muffled protests against him.
He thrust the sharp object forward, shockingly connecting with something soft and squishy.
So it was real, and was likely a religious freak to boot.
He and his assailant tumbled to the ground, a muffled cry of pain escaping their lips, Simon’s hand slipping on the sharp object when he tried to pull it out. It clattered to the ground beneath them, Simon reeling back to punch instead.
There was a muffled cry of pain when he managed to land one, and he swore he picked up what sounded like a plea to not hurt them.
He stopped fighting for just a moment, the garbled plea making his breath catch. Religious freak or not, he shouldn't be- he wasn't-
Something huge and heavy slammed into his side, sending him tumbling to the floor again.
It jostled his aching head, his ribs cracking painfully upon landing.
More muffled sounds, more garbled pleas, and something like music.
Fuck, maybe he was dead.
Simon didn't move for fear of whatever had slammed into him hitting him again, his breaths coming out wheezing and aching, his head throbbing. He shouldn't have done that - it wasn't a hallucination, he was supposed to be better than that. He wasn't violent. He didn't mean to. He wasn't the butcher.
He sucked in a sharp, painful breath when something touched him. A hand- it felt like.
It gently squeezed his arm, a garbled voice calling out to him again, hardly clearer than before.
“...okay!...just….’s alright!...cky- ….understand?”
Simon sucked in another painful lungful, shaking his head a bit, barely opening his eyes to see the figure.
Still blurry and fuzzy. Still haloed by light.
Simon sucked in another painful lungful, shaking his head a bit, barely opening his eyes to see the figure.
Still blurry and fuzzy. Still haloed by light.
The figure kept talking, seemingly turning its head away for a moment before turning back to him.
Simon managed to sit up a bit, wiping at his face again in an attempt to clear the blood from his eyes.
He blinked away what he could, and though there was still a watery red film over everything, he could see just a little better. He squinted at the figure, features slowly taking shape.
Eyes, nose, glasses. A very normal, not at all freakish human face.
A man, maybe.
He raked his eyes over the figure for a long moment, before realizing the growing splotch of blood on their abdomen.
Simon sucked in a sharp breath with realization. He’d stabbed them.
“ ‘m sorry…’m sorry, I didn't mean- ‘m sorry, I thought-” he choked out, unsure what to say. Just that he was sorry, he was sorry, he was so sorry.
His head throbbed, Simon squeezing his eyes shut against the pain and just hoping in earnest that this was a hallucination, if only to keep him from being the cause of yet another death.
He mumbled another apology, breathing shakily through his nose, curling in on himself in an attempt to stop the nausea that roiled in his gut.
The person touched his arm again, so gently that Simon was positive that they were a ghost. They squeezed a little more firmly when he didn't respond, and through the ringing in his ears, Simon managed to make out their voice again.
“.....okay…n't have to move…..Um- just.… here. .I-…..ken care of…. we-…do about….blood….cky’s….-urt you…. not…hurt you…we’ll- figure…..don't move.”
The figure let go of his arm, and through the ringing in his ears, Simon could make out that strange music again and a robotic voice somewhere nearby, far different than the figure that had been speaking to him before.
Fuck, he really was still down there, wasn't he? He'd lost too much oxygen and the alarms were what he was hearing. That was it. The person was just another thing he was hearing and seeing. Just another hallucination.
Simon didn't know how long he sat there. His fuzzy mind drifted in and out of awareness, sounds on the edge of his senses that he tried very hard to ignore. He tried to focus on breathing, on conserving what little oxygen he could. His mind zeroed in on his own panting breaths, trying to slow his racing heart.
The bad part about trying not to focus on his senses meant there was plenty of time to focus on thoughts. Memories. Plenty of time to rewatch a gag reel of Simon's Greatest Mistakes on loop.
His throbbing head and body made it all sort of blend together, at least. Nothing terribly solid, just a crawling feeling of guilt and a yearning to have just one thing go right for him…
He didn't know how much time had passed, how much oxygen he even had left. He hadn't heard the beep, though he’d surmised before that whatever was keeping him alive down here had somehow been supplying him with it.
A touch on his arm made him jump, sucking in a sharp breath. Awareness came back sharp and painful, fumbling for his knife in his disoriented state- only to remember he didn't have it.
He backed away from the touch, only to hit a cool wall, the back of his head thumping against it and jostling his already thoroughly shaken brain.
Simon chanced a glance at what had touched him, the same figure from…from minutes or maybe even hours ago standing before him again.
Eyes. Nose. Glasses.
Simon’s eyes refocused a little, and he hastily wiped at them, blinking away the remnants of blood. The figure was a man. A very normal looking man.
His mouth was moving, but Simon could only hear that ringing and incredibly garbled speech.
“..-an ..-stand…me? …aybe…-n't…hear…?”
Simon tried to piece it together, but his brain was all mush from being jostled one too many times. He shook his head a little and hoped the answer sufficed.
This wasn't Eden. And it certainly wasn't the COI…. Far too…sterile. Clean.
The man frowned faintly, glancing off to the side. As if speaking to someone.
Simon followed his gaze to what looked like a weird, fucked up rock inside some kind of…glass ball-thing.
All of this being an elaborate hallucination was definitely not off the table.
And then the thing moved, and Simon’s chest seized with fear, hand automatically going to the knife that wasn't there again.
Not weird alien shit again. He couldn't do that again. He had to get the fuck out of here.
[ TBC after I decide if Ryland Grace knows any ASL. Simon definitely won’t but it'd be a start to them communicating ig
Also sorry for fucked up spacing, docs -> Tumblr fucks it up and I don't have time to fix it rn ]
I love how phm universe is just the perfect crossover canvas for any and all sci-fi media. You can just pull all the blorbos together. Yes YOU get saved and YOU get saved! EVERYONE GETS TO LIVE ON ERID!
Earth keeps getting new message beetles and new people just KEEP SHOWING UP in the background???
There's an asian looking guy with a robotic arm (Iron Lung) staring intently at a tree sapling? That's not Yao??? Who HOW??
Some people in red shirts (Star Trek) playing cards behind Ryland? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WHERE DID THEY COME FROM
There's a cyborg guy (murderbot) that's apparently "just passing through" HUH
Wait that guy with the wheelbarrow full of potatoes... is- is that Mark Watney?? THE GUY WE LOST ON MARS?WHAT
Possibilities are endless you can just mash as many together as you want
Eridians just keep picking up dying humans in their neighboring star systems and don't know what to do with them except dumping them in the HumanBiosphere Tm
None of the humans can agree on what year the earth is at let alone the state its in? Some even say its gone?
My new wallpaper using the Niagara launcher. I watched the movie *Project Hail Mary* on May 27, and ever since then I’ve been completely obsessed with everything related to this universe, especially after reading fanfiction featuring Simon and Grace. They’re my new favorite couple.
The artist's Instagram account: Hukaka
I started reading the book too, and my goodness, what a great book.
the hail mary being loaded with the totality of earth media means that when earth makes formal contact with erid they will have to contend with whole new schools of analysis of our media. previously inconceivable blorbo discourse. new speedrun strats and records. eridian parodies and pastiches of beloved earth classics. what do the sonic profiles of our classical symphonies say in eridian. destiel is reciprocated in spanish and eridian. a new catholic schism has occurred without the pope even knowing about it
The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.
how dare you say we piss on the poor
all hail the 1 million note Piss Post

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
You don’t have to love your body
I really needed to read this today. Thank you.
"Listening to the SecSystem's audio, I heard a crew member in the corridor say,"I've never seen one out of armor. They really do look human." I made a gesture in that direction that I had only seen in the shows that were rated high on the obscenity scale. Gurathin saw me and made a choking noise."
No thoughts. Only Murdybot.
Vatican City isn't a country. Fuck you.
It doesn't have a population or community. It has employees. It's basically just the Catholic Church's corporate headquarters.
If Vatican City is a country, then Google's Googleplex office is a country.
And Europe isn’t a continent
Absolutely. Europe is a series of peninsulas on the western tip of Asia.
technically, asia isn't a continent either. africa, europe and asia (or afroeurasia) are all one giant continent
Not since 17 November 1869.
manmade canals aren't oceans by any stretch of the imagination
Tell that to the jellyfish.
afroeurasia briefly became a thing again in 2021
So wild how so many shows on TV has like.... campus police, or a small-town sheriff who runs a tight ship, or cheerleaders and stuff
And how so many of them share the same vocabulary, like "Freshmen" and "Sorority" and "FBI"
Do you think they all take place in the same universe
Hey guys this is my AmeriVerse OC, his name is Tanner Michaels and he is a Senior in a Frat House at Townsville College- Go Tigers!
His girlfriend Amanda has a cheerleading scholarship and is the Vice President of her sorority, and is so good at Hazing Freshies!
Campus Police are always trying to ruin his good time, but he knows he can count on his good friends Hunter and Cooper to secure him some Illegal Marijuana 😉
This year, he's telling his parents Mark and Joanne that he's going skiing with Amanda and her parents- little do they know, he is spending Spring Break in Mexico with his Boys!
But wait- what's that? Crime Scene Investigation Federal Agents Chris Smith and Jack James, here to investigate an Urban, Inner-City Terrorism?
Sorry Tanner, it looks like Hunter and Cooper are going to be Living La Vida Loca without you THIS time. Special Agents Smith and James are sending YOU to Marine Fighter Boot Camp, to become the perfect Spring Break Special Agent!
Will Tanner be able to get his act together in time to Protect and Serve under His Nation's Best And Brightest? Or will he Fail to Protect the Greatest Country On Earth?
This April, watch Agent Spring Break!
Disney Direct TV
Oh shit I just realized I can post the "Gaussian Blur Wizard That Gaussian Blurs You" here
his friend "Motion Blur Mage That Motion Blurs You"
Their long suffering associate, the "Sharpen Cleric that Sharpens you (badly)"
Nooo!!! What have you all unleashed upon us!?!
dont forget the chromatic abberation warlock that chromatically abberates you
may I add Mystic Mosiac who turns your quality waaaaaaay down
What did he do to deserve this
punished by the council
FOOLS!!!! YOU ARE ALL NOTHING BENEATH THE MIGHTY POWER OF MY JPEG ARTIFACT

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
when i was a little kid (age 8 and on) i had 3 veryyy intense special interests i constantly infodumped about to anyone who gave me the time of day. these were:
The Bubonic Plague
Vampire Folklore
Tree frogs.
So as you can imagine my mom spent many years prepping me for social outings by doing a call-and-response litany with me that went "let's focus on tree frogs tonight. let's tell people about tree frogs."
au Alastor gave the egg boiz individual names because he thought it would be funny (and also to tell pentious in a roundabout way hey, ur a shit parent for not giving ur children NAMES. I did the job for you, cry about it.)
So other than Frank, theres;
Eggbert
Shelldon
Benedict
and Hershell.
(Also he renamed Frank to Frankeggstein in his head.)
Yes they're all egg puns, he does this for the love of the game.