The Witch: DearCrazy

-------

Time, as it always does, marched on without waiting for anyone to catch up.

The goddess became a memory wrapped in reverence, then a story wrapped around a memory, layers accumulating like sediment. To the angels who had survived the First War, she was more than a figure of worship.

She was a wound that never fully closed. A name spoken softly in quiet halls, always followed by lowered heads and a silence nobody rushed to fill.

They remembered her laughter. They remembered her kindness. They remembered the impossible light that had consumed her whole, and some of them still woke from dreams of it, centuries later, blinking against a brightness that wasn’t really there.

The younger angels knew her only through stories, sung in half-forgotten hymns, and carvings of architecture and buildings. Stories of the goddess who surrendered eternity itself to imprison the darkness beneath Hell. Stories of the divine sacrifice that saved Creation, and the debt Creation never stopped quietly repaying.

Centuries passed, then millennia.

The empty places left behind by the war slowly filled as Heaven welcomed new souls into its ranks, one small mercy at a time. But something fundamental had shifted, and it never shifted back. Without God’s guiding hand, Creation grew slower, more effortful, like a machine running without its most essential part.

Heaven endured.

It simply no longer flourished as it once had. The effortless abundance of its golden age had faded, replaced by a quieter resilience, as though joy itself had become something that required tending instead of something that naturally bloomed.

And perhaps because the universe refused to remain empty forever, something new was born.

The first new Seraphim of the modern age.

Emily, the Seraphim of Joy.

Born long after the war had passed into legend, she’d been raised on the same stories every other angel had and taught from her earliest days about the nameless heroine whose final act of love still held Demise imprisoned beneath the foundations of Hell.

To most angels, the goddess was history, distant and reverent.

To Emily, she was hope with a heartbeat.

-------

But eternity has a habit of wearing down even miracles. Stone erodes. Rivers change course. Nothing holds its shape forever, no matter how sacred the hands that shaped it.

No seal lasts forever. Every prison cracks eventually, and every promise, however divine, has a shelf life it doesn’t like to admit to.

The goddess had known that from the very beginning. Gods do not think in years. They think in millennia, in generations, in the slow accumulation of small things that eventually become large ones.

So she planned accordingly.

She could not return as a goddess, that divine flame had burned only once, and it had burned itself out entirely to forge Demise’s prison. There would never be a second sacrifice like it. That door had closed forever.

Instead, she returned as something far quieter. Far humbler. Far more mortal.

She became human.

Piece by piece, lifetime after lifetime, her soul threaded itself through mortal bloodlines like a single golden strand woven through cloth.

Daughter after daughter inherited a fragment of what she had once been. Each generation carrying the smallest ember of forgotten divinity, low and waiting for the day it would be needed again.

Whenever the ancient seal so much as groaned beneath the strain of its prisoner, another descendant with the sealing power would be born somewhere in the world, usually without any fanfare at all. She alone would carry the blessing required to perform the sacred rite that renewed the prison.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

No angel choir announced her arrival. No star marked her birth. She was simply born, the way anyone is born, and the weight of an entire cosmic contingency plan settled quietly onto her shoulders before she’d even opened her eyes.

To be born into that bloodline was already considered one of Heaven’s greatest honors, whether the descendant ever knew it or not.

They lived ordinary mortal lives, full of ordinary mortal joys and ordinary mortal griefs, but their souls carried the lingering touch of a goddess, like a watermark only Heaven could see. Salvation was all but guaranteed to them, a promise made before they were even old enough to understand what a promise was.

To actually perform the Rite of Renewal elevated a descendant beyond even the blessed.

No judgment. No deliberation. No heavenly tribunal weighing sins against virtues on some cosmic scale. The moment their mortal life ended, they were welcomed into Heaven as saints, immediately and unconditionally.

Divinity, it seemed, did not believe in technicalities. Not for this, not for them.

For thousands upon thousands of years, the cycle held exactly as intended, turning over like a well-oiled clock.

The seal weakened. A daughter was born. The ritual was performed. The darkness stayed buried.

Again. And again. And again.

Until, after countless generations, the bloodline reached Alastor.

-------

No one ever warns you that the thing you keep locked away is learning.

Prisons teach patience, and nothing else is more patient than an immortal evil with all of eternity to sit and think. For thousands upon thousands of years, Demise lay buried beneath the seal, listening.

He felt every renewal. He tasted every pulse of sacred power that reinforced his prison, cataloguing each one the way a prisoner memorizes the sound of every key turning in every lock. Given enough time, even failure becomes instruction, and Demise had more time than anyone.

Eventually, he stopped throwing himself against the walls of his cage. That had never worked, and he was patient enough to stop repeating a mistake once he understood it as one. Instead, he began studying the one who carried the key.

Not the seal but the saint.

When the time came once more for the Rite of Renewal, the ancient bloodline did exactly what it always did. It chose its next daughter.

A woman from New Orleans, with a razor-sharp smile that could charm a crowd or unsettle one depending entirely on her mood, impeccable manners polished to a gleam, a voice made for radio waves, and an unfortunate habit of embracing consequences with open arms and a laugh.

Alastor.

Demise did not hurl himself against the prison walls this time. He did not waste centuries of gathered strength raging at a seal he already knew, with absolute certainty, he could not yet break. He simply waited for her patiently, for longer than she could conceive of.

Alastor performed the sacred rite exactly as every woman before her had, down to the last syllable, the last gesture, the last note of a song sung. The ancient words were spoken. The divine light answered, blooming through the dark like something out of a hymn. The seal blazed with renewed brilliance, driving fresh chains through the darkness and binding Demise beneath Hell once more, tighter than before, exactly as intended.

Somewhere beyond mortal understanding, in whatever celestial ledger kept account of such things, another line was quietly marked complete. Another generation had fulfilled its purpose. Another debt, paid in full.

By every law of Heaven, that should have been the end of her story. A quiet, dutiful ending, the kind reserved for saints who did their jobs and asked for nothing in return.

It wasn’t.

The moment the ritual ended, Alastor felt it.

Not pain or exhaustion, though her body ached with both. Something quieter. A splinter lodged beneath the skin that could never quite be found no matter how she searched. A melody with one note held ever so slightly out of tune.

The unmistakable feeling that something had gone terribly wrong, despite every visible sign insisting otherwise, insisting she’d done everything right.

Alastor, who made a career and a personality out of never letting anything rattle her, found herself unable to shake the feeling for days. She told no one. She smiled through it, the way she smiled through everything, and let the feeling curl up quietly in the back of her mind.

-------

She was right to be afraid.

What Alastor could never have known, what no saint in the bloodline had ever discovered, was that Demise had stopped fighting the seal generations before she was even born. He’d already made his move, long before the pieces on the board even knew a game was being played.

During the previous Rite of Renewal, he had hidden something inside the ritual itself. Not enough to taint the magic outright, or weaken the seal enough for anyone divine to notice. Just enough to slip through unseen, a splinter driven so fine that even divine magic, which misses very little, passed right over it without a second glance.

He planted it inside the saint who came before Alastor. Someone kind, faithful, and who never once suspected she was carrying anything but her own soul home to Heaven.

A seed. A curse so impossibly small it didn’t even register as wrongness, just a shadow the width of a hair, buried too deep to catch.

The previous saint never felt it. Never suspected a thing. She lived her ordinary mortal life all the way to its ordinary mortal end, passed peacefully into Heaven exactly as promised, and unknowingly carried Demise’s work precisely where he wanted it to go.

The curse slipped quietly into her bloodline, passing from mother to daughter, generation after generation, sleeping beneath souls otherwise touched by divine grace. A parasite patient enough to look, for centuries, exactly like nothing at all.

Waiting.

Demise was in no hurry. He had eternity, and eternity does not rush. Every time another descendant was born into that bloodline, he stole only the faintest fragment of the dormant divinity resting inside her soul.

A single sliver.

No more. Never enough for anyone to notice the theft, or to dim the light Heaven saw in her. Just enough to vanish without ever being missed. He skimmed those tiny pieces away, century after century, daughter after daughter, never taking more than the theft could hide.

One generation. Then another. Then another.

Over the course of centuries, all those stolen fragments accumulated into something far greater. Not enough to break the seal outright. He was too careful, too disciplined for something so clumsy.

But enough for one single, carefully chosen moment. Enough for the next Rite of Renewal. Enough for the one descendant destined to inherit the full sealing power, undiluted, unbroken, exactly as the goddess intended it to.

Enough for Alastor to perform the Rite.

So when her mortal life finally reached its end, quietly or not so quietly, depending on which version of the story survives. Heaven came to claim its promised saint, exactly as it had a thousand times before.

Instead, something else reached her first.

Armed with centuries of stolen divinity and the ancient, unbroken bond he still held with the very realm that had become his prison, Demise stretched his will beyond the seal one final time. Not to escape, not yet. His patience hadn’t run out; it had simply found its target.

Only to steal.

The instant Alastor’s soul slipped free of her body, the instant the light should have carried her home, invisible chains of darkness coiled around it instead, swift and certain, closing like a fist that had been open and waiting for centuries.

Heaven never had the chance to reach her. Before a single angel could welcome one of their promised saints home, Demise dragged her down, screaming, into Hell.

And somewhere beneath the ash and the neon and the endless, indifferent noise of a city built from sin, something ancient smiled. Because after all those centuries of waiting, he finally had exactly what he wanted.

-------

Say what you will about Alastor, but there was one thing every universe seemed to agree on.

She did not waste time being confused.

She afforded herself perhaps four whole minutes of genuine bewilderment. Four minutes to come to terms with the staggering absurdity of dying after fulfilling a sacred duty, only to wake up in Hell when every woman in her bloodline had been all but guaranteed a seat in Heaven.

Four minutes to process the impossible.

Then she straightened her coat, dusted herself off, smiled that sharp, dangerous smile, and got to work.

Panic was unproductive. Complaining accomplished nothing. If someone had made a mistake, she’d simply have to survive long enough to find out who.

It turned out divinity didn’t disappear just because the mailing address changed. The blessing carried in her blood remained fully intact, buried beneath infernal flesh and wrapped in the soul of a sinner. The goddess’s lingering grace burning exactly as bright as it always had, if not brighter.

If anything, Hell sharpened it. Sacred power was never meant to exist there, and something about that fundamental wrongness seemed to make it hungrier.

-------

By the time the events at the Hazbin Hotel began, Alastor was already a legend.

The Radio Demon.

An Overlord who had clawed her way from an ordinary sinner to the very top of Hell’s food chain with terrifying speed, wrapped in a kind of power no one could properly explain.

The wise didn’t ask questions. The foolish rarely lived long enough to ask a second one.

Rumors spread, of course. They always did.

Some claimed she’d struck a bargain with forces older than Lucifer himself. Others insisted she’d stumbled onto forgotten magic buried somewhere beneath Pentagram City. A few whispered that she wasn’t entirely a sinner anymore.

None of them came remotely close to the truth.

The irony was almost laughable. The demon Hell regarded as one of its most terrifying monsters was, by blood, birthright, and soul, a saint.

The holiest being currently walking the streets of Hell was also one of its bloodiest Overlords, and not a single soul in the Pride Ring had the faintest idea.

In hindsight, someone probably should have noticed. Ordinary sinners weren’t supposed to perform what were, for all practical purposes, miracles. They certainly weren’t supposed to erase demons so completely that nothing remained behind to regenerate.

Hell was a place where almost nothing died permanently, and Alastor had a disturbing habit of proving otherwise, wielding powers that felt less like demonic sorcery and more like divine judgment wearing a monster’s smile.

It should have raised questions. It didn’t.

Subtle observation had never been Hell’s greatest strength, and its residents had an astonishing talent for accepting the bizarre so long as it wasn’t actively trying to kill them, which admittedly, was a remarkably low bar to clear.

If anything, they simply filed Alastor’s impossible abilities under Radio Demon Things and carried on with their day.

It was, more or less, the exact reason Vaggie’s own secret had stayed hidden for so long. Hell, for all its paranoia, could be spectacularly oblivious when it wanted to be. Sometimes the best disguise wasn’t deception at all.

It was everyone else’s complete refusal to ask the obvious question.

-------

Meanwhile, in Heaven, things were considerably less composed.

Their saint was gone. Not ascended, not martyred, not even delayed.

Missing.

She had simply vanished without a trace. One moment, Alastor’s soul should have been arriving through Heaven’s gates, welcomed home the way every saint before her had been. The next, she was nowhere, with no explanation and no trail to follow.

It was as though someone had reached into the very machinery of the afterlife and stolen a soul already promised to Heaven. Worse still, the ancient seal she’d been born to renew continued to hum with a subtle, nameless unease.

It hadn’t failed. Demise remained imprisoned.

But something about it felt wrong, and the higher choirs descended into barely controlled chaos.

Thrones abandoned centuries of dignified composure in favor of frantic meetings and increasingly desperate theories. Messengers darted across Heaven carrying contradictory reports. Archives that hadn’t been opened since the First War were thrown wide in search of answers that simply weren’t there.

No one wanted to voice the question aloud, because once someone said it, it became real.

What, in God’s name, happened to our saint?

Sera took it harder than anyone. A saint disappearing under her watch was unprecedented, nearly impossible. Her mind raced through every nightmare scenario she could think of, each one somehow worse than the last.

Had the ritual failed? Had the seal weakened? Had Demise somehow reached beyond his prison after all?

Eventually, grief and fear carried her thoughts somewhere far less rational.

Lucifer.

Who else could have done this? Who else possessed both the motive and the proximity to interfere with a soul destined for Heaven?

The accusation was unfair, and somehow, that made it comforting. Blaming Lucifer meant there was still an answer to be had.

Adam, never one to let a crisis go to waste, noticed immediately. He slipped into those meetings with the confidence of a man who already knew exactly what everyone wanted to hear.

“This reeks of Hell,” he said. “A saint disappears, and Hell’s been getting bolder every year? That’s not a coincidence.”

He let the silence and the panic do most of the work for him. Then came the proposal.

The Exterminations.

Officially, they would serve two noble purposes: the ever-growing population of Hell would be kept in check, and if, by some impossible twist of fate, the missing saint had somehow ended up down there, the exterminators would find her.

It sounded reasonable. Necessary, even.

But Adam knew better. There wasn’t a chance in all of Creation that one of Heaven’s saints had somehow become a sinner. The idea was ridiculous, and he knew it, and he said it anyway because it was useful.

What Adam actually wanted was something much simpler.

Permission.

A righteous excuse to march into Hell once a year and remind Lucifer exactly who had won.

To punish the fallen. To make them bleed. To make them afraid.

If he happened to enjoy every second of it, well, that was just a happy coincidence.

Sera should have seen through him. On another day, she might have. But grief has a way of disguising desperation as reason, and burdened by fear for Heaven, haunted by the disappearance of its promised saint, and terrified of what Demise’s growing unease might mean, she said yes.

A single decision. One she would spend the next seven years, and perhaps the rest of eternity, wishing she could take back.

And so the Exterminations began.

Year after year, Heaven’s armies descended upon Hell in brutal, systematic slaughter.

Officially, they searched for a missing saint. In truth, they passed within her streets countless times, never once realizing that the monster standing atop the bodies of Overlords, smiling through a crackling radio broadcast, was the very soul they’d sworn to bring home.

-------

Alastor watched Charlie’s little redemption commercial the same way most of Hell did: with polite, distant amusement. A smile, a chuckle, a vague appreciation for the spectacle.

Right up until she didn’t.

There was one inconvenient truth about being descended from a goddess who once gave up everything because she believed the world was still worth saving: that kind of faith left marks. They lingered in the blood long after the divinity itself had faded.

Alastor had never been naïve. She had spent decades in Hell carving her way to the top, reducing monsters to little more than static on the airwaves. She knew exactly what sinners were capable of, because she had judged more than enough of them herself.

Most of them had earned their place. She believed that with the calm certainty that Hell existed for a reason, and more often than not, it held the right occupants.

She was not soft. She had never been soft. Mercy had always been something she measured carefully, if she offered it at all.

Yet she also knew, with the quiet, inherited certainty etched into her very soul, that most had never meant all.

There had always been exceptions. There always would be.

Redemption couldn’t be forced. It couldn’t be bargained into existence, couldn’t be sung into someone’s heart no matter how earnest the melody or how hopeful the dream. It had to be chosen freely and willingly, or it wasn’t redemption at all.

A person who changed only because the alternative was pain hadn’t truly changed. They had merely learned which punishment hurt less.

Offer someone only two choices, eternal damnation or annihilation, and many would pick the one labeled redemption.

Not because they wished to become better, but because they wished to survive. Those were not the same thing. The desire to become better had to come from within, or the moment the fear disappeared, so would the change.

Choice had always been the heart of redemption. The goddess had understood that.

So, somehow, did Alastor.

Which left Charlie Morningstar’s absurd little dream in a rather interesting position. The Hazbin Hotel was either destined to become the single funniest disaster Alastor had ever witnessed, or it might actually matter.

The odds, admittedly, leaned heavily toward the former.

Still, she had nothing but time. And if she was being completely honest with herself, she was bored.

So she went.

-------

Her arrival at the Hazbin Hotel did not go smoothly.

The moment Alastor crossed the threshold, every sinner in the building felt it. A primal instinct buried in every demon since the First War lurched suddenly awake.

Run. Fight. Hide.

They couldn’t explain why. Every creature born of Hell instinctively recoiled from the lingering trace of divinity woven into Alastor’s soul. It was ancient, impossible, and utterly out of place: a predator’s warning running in reverse, the unmistakable sense that something fundamentally holy had just walked into Hell.

Conversation faltered, laughter died, and the air stretched taut enough to snap.

Even those who’d never met the Radio Demon before found themselves stiffening without understanding why. It wasn’t fear of Alastor, not entirely. It was instinct, the oldest instinct their kind possessed.

Vaggie, however, reacted differently.

The sensation struck her with such force that she nearly forgot to breathe. Where every other demon’s instincts screamed danger, hers whispered something else entirely.

Recognition.

Not conscious recognition, not memory. Something older than memory. Something that lived in the soul. She knew that feeling. She had stood in its presence before.

Holy light. Grace. Home.

It radiated off Alastor in impossibly faint echoes, buried beneath layers of infernal magic and the overwhelming presence of the Radio Demon. To anyone else, those traces would have been all but impossible to perceive. But to an angel, even a fallen one, they were unmistakable.

Vaggie stared.

Alastor, in turn, looked back. Her ever-present smile didn’t falter, but her eyes sharpened, just slightly, the look one reserves for a puzzle that isn’t supposed to exist.

Vaggie had reacted, not with the instinctive revulsion every other demon displayed, but with recognition. She’d done absolutely nothing to earn that level of scrutiny, and yet Alastor found herself lingering on the former exterminator a heartbeat longer than she lingered on anyone else.

Neither of them understood why. Vaggie’s instincts insisted the Radio Demon carried some impossible connection to Heaven. Alastor’s own blood quietly whispered that the woman standing before her was no ordinary sinner.

Neither conclusion made any sense.

After all, the woman in front of Vaggie was the Radio Demon, one of the bloodiest, cruelest Overlords Pentagram City had ever produced. And the woman standing before Alastor was, supposedly, just another sinner.

-------

Once her partnership with Charlie was settled, Alastor did what Alastor had always done. She gathered her own.

Husk was still Husk. The same dry wit, the same bottle forever within arm’s reach, the same soul worn thin by decades of bad luck, worse decisions, and the crushing weight of knowing exactly how far he’d fallen. He ended up beneath Alastor’s thumb in an unfortunate card game.

Only, something about this Alastor didn’t sit right with him, not in the way he’d expected. He couldn’t explain it. Couldn’t point to a single word, gesture, or expression. He just knew, on some instinctive level buried beneath the cynicism and the whiskey, that every encounter with her felt like brushing against something that shouldn’t exist.

She didn’t feel like a sinner. Not entirely.

Some stubborn little voice in the back of his mind insisted she’d never been entirely human to begin with.

He ignored it. Mostly.

The soul wager unfolded almost exactly as he remembered it. Cards were dealt and smiles were exchanged.

Husk lost. Alastor won. Done.

Ordinarily, that would have been the end of it, a soul collected, another chain fastened, another life quietly filed away beneath the Radio Demon’s growing empire. Instead, Alastor paused, looking at the broken soul now resting in her hands, and saw someone who had already done enough of that to himself.

Husk wasn’t dangerous because he was cruel. He was dangerous because he’d given up, because he’d been drowning for so long he no longer remembered what dry land felt like. Breaking him further would accomplish nothing.

So she did something no Overlord in her right mind would ever consider. She placed a leash around his soul, not to tighten it, but to stop him from falling any farther. The contract bound him to her, but with a condition rarely seen anywhere in Hell.

The chain would remain only until Husk confronted the man he’d become, abandoned the vices that had hollowed him out, genuinely repented the harm he’d caused, and chose, of his own will, to become someone better.

Only then would the contract dissolve.

His freedom wasn’t something Alastor intended to own forever. It was something she fully expected him to earn.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, particularly Husk, that process progressed at approximately the speed of continental drift. At this rate, he’d be chained to her for a looooong time.

Husk still wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or offended. It was controlling, invasive, and manipulative in ways only Alastor could manage.

And yet it was also the closest thing to genuine concern anyone had shown him in decades. He honestly couldn’t decide whether that made the whole arrangement better or infinitely worse.

-------

Niffty required considerably less deliberation. She took one look at the smiling, blood-soaked, faintly holy woman standing in front of her and immediately reached the only conclusion that made perfect sense to her.

“That’s my mom now.”

Actually. “Big sister.”

No. “Mom.”

Both. Definitely both.

Alastor, against every ounce of common sense she possessed, never corrected her. From that moment on, Niffty adopted her with the relentlessness of an overly affectionate stray cat. Resistance proved entirely futile. What followed was an almost criminal amount of domestic fluff.

Sewing lessons that somehow drifted into quiet conversations neither of them had intended to have. Afternoons spent mending clothes while Niffty chattered enough for the both of them. Tiny gifts appearing on Alastor’s desk because “Mama works too hard!”

Niffty launching herself into verbal, and occasionally physical, combat with anyone foolish enough to insult Alastor within earshot.

Alastor pretended to be deeply inconvenienced by all of it, every single time. No one believed her. Least of all Niffty.

There were mornings when Niffty fell asleep against her shoulder during breakfast. Evenings where Alastor wordlessly adjusted a blanket over the tiny demon after finding her curled up somewhere ridiculous. Little quiet domestic moments, the sort Alastor would have denied enjoying under literal torture.

Charlie watched all of it unfold with a steadily growing sense of unease she couldn’t quite identify. She should have been happy. She was happy, probably. So why did watching Niffty casually call Alastor “Mom” make something twist strangely in her chest?

…

Nope.

She decided not to unpack that. The resulting mommy issues became an entirely separate subplot.

-------

Then there was Lucifer. Poor, unsuspecting Lucifer.

The first time he met Alastor, his brain committed the equivalent of driving straight into a brick wall. Every instinct he possessed screamed the same impossible conclusion.

Divinity. Not angelic grace. Not borrowed holy magic. Something older and deeper. Familiar in a way that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. She smelled like Heaven.

Like the First War. Like someone he hadn’t sensed in—No. Surely not.

Unfortunately, his senses also provided a second, considerably less helpful observation.

She was ridiculously attractive.

Lucifer’s internal monologue immediately derailed.

Why does the terrifying woman radiate holy energy? Why is she in Hell? Is Heaven invading? Should I be more concerned than I currently am? ...Why am I not more concerned?

Lilith is going to kill me. Wait, am I cheating if I’m only having confusing hypothetical thoughts? Why is she so unbelievably hot? Focus, Lucifer. No, seriously, focus.

He had an alarming number of questions and asked almost none of them aloud, mostly because every time he looked at Alastor, she smiled as though she already knew exactly what he was thinking.

This rapidly became something of a pattern, much to Lucifer’s everlasting frustration.

-------

Every legend worth remembering had its sacred blade.

Its Master Sword: a weapon that existed not because it was stronger than every other sword, but because it carried a purpose no ordinary steel ever could.

Alastor’s bloodline came with something remarkably similar. The blessing of the goddess was never meant to remain confined to flesh alone. It could be shared.

A weapon touched by that lingering divinity ceased to be merely forged metal. It became something else entirely: consecrated, sanctified, capable of cutting through protections Heaven and Hell alike had long taken for granted.

A truly angelic weapon. Not Heaven’s. Not Hell’s.

But the goddess’s.

It recognized no allegiance and offered no exceptions. Holy flesh, infernal flesh. It cut them both exactly the same.

-------

When word reached the Hazbin Hotel that Adam and the Exorcists were coming, preparations began in earnest.

Weapons were gathered from every corner of Pentagram City: angelic steel scavenged from previous Exterminations, alongside a small number of cannibal fighters who rarely wielded weapons that didn’t involve teeth or cutlery.

Hardly an army worth a song.

Still, Alastor merely smiled. One by one, she walked down the line. She rested her fingers against each weapon, closed her eyes, and whispered words no living soul had spoken in thousands of years.

The air hummed. Golden light crawled across cold steel like sunlight flowing through water. Runes flared into being before sinking beneath the metal’s surface.

When she lifted her hand away, every weapon had changed.

Angelic steel had already been one of the deadliest materials in Creation. Now it was angelic steel infused with the lingering blessing of a sacrificed goddess. Something else entirely. Something terrifying. The sort of weapon that made war significantly shorter.

Adam’s army discovered that firsthand. The battle began exactly as Heaven expected.

The Exorcists descended. The Hazbin Hotel braced itself. Then the first blessed blade found its mark.

An angel fell. Then another. Then another.

Exorcists who should have shrugged off demonic retaliation instead collapsed where they stood, their grace unraveling beneath weapons that answered to a power older than Heaven’s armies themselves.

The battlefield shifted with shocking speed. Charlie and the Hazbins had prepared for survival. Instead, they found themselves winning. The casualties reversed almost instantly.

The Hazbin Hotel emerged bloodied but standing. The Exorcists did not.

-------

Eventually, Adam had had enough.

Of course he had. His ego would never allow anyone else to finish what he’d started.

With a roar of holy light, he descended onto the battlefield himself, wings spread wide, his axe blazing with celestial light.

“Well,” he drawled, flashing that infuriating grin, “I gotta admit, babe. Didn’t expect Hell’s hottest psychopath to be packing that kind of—“

The inevitable dick joke never reached its conclusion. Regrettably, that was very on brand.

Alastor crossed the distance between them before the sentence did.

The fight wasn’t close.

Adam had expected another arrogant Overlord, another sinner swollen with stolen power and too much confidence. Instead, he found himself facing someone whose blood still carried the echo of the very goddess Heaven had mourned for millennia.

She moved with terrifying precision. No wasted motion or any grandstanding. Every strike landed exactly where it would hurt the most. Every dodge came effortlessly, as though she’d already decided where Adam would attack before he’d made up his own mind.

Crimson demonic magic danced around her like living static, but beneath it shimmered something older. Something holy. Something that made every instinct Adam possessed scream that this was wrong.

Then she hit him.

It hurt. Dear God, it actually hurt. Not the dull sting of sparring or the irritation of a lucky blow. Pain. Real, honest-to-God pain.

For the first time since his ascension, for the first time in over ten thousand years, Adam bled. The realization hit him harder than Alastor’s fist ever could.

Panic flashed across his face. For one terrible heartbeat, he forgot he was Heaven’s greatest warrior. He remembered only that he could die.

With a furious shout, he abandoned all pretense of technique. Pure angelic power erupted from his hands in blinding beams of light, sweeping wildly across the battlefield as he fired in every direction.

The battlefield dissolved into chaos. Demons and angels alike scattered for cover as incandescent blasts carved smoking trenches through the earth.

“Everyone down!” Charlie shouted.

Too late.

One blast tore straight toward the defenders clustered around Cherri Bomb. There wasn’t time to move.

Sir Pentious didn’t hesitate. With a cry equal parts terror and determination, he threw himself in front of them.

The holy blast struck him head-on.

For one fleeting instant, his silhouette shone brighter than the sun.

Then, just like that, he was gone. Nothing remained.

“PENTIOUS!” Charlie’s scream tore across the battlefield.

Cherri Bomb dropped to her knees, staring in disbelief at the empty space where her friend had stood only moments before.

The rest of the hotel froze where they stood.

Adam looked at the devastation, then laughed, loud and cruel.

“Aw, c’mon!” he called, mocking. “You’re crying over that loser? Seriously? Guy was trash.”

Something inside Alastor broke.

The anger that surged through her was unlike anything she’d ever known. It wasn’t merely rage. It was grief, judgment, and something deep and dark rising from within, something she couldn’t have explained. She only knew that Adam had crossed a line that could not be uncrossed.

The next several minutes became the single most humiliating experience of Adam’s exceedingly long existence.

Alastor dismantled him very relentlessly. Every boast was answered with another blow. Every attempt to recover ended with him flat on his back once more.

She didn’t simply overpower him. She embarrassed him, publicly and thoroughly.

And because, beneath all the inherited holiness and righteous fury, Alastor remained an unapologetically asshole, so she drove a perfectly aimed kick straight between his legs.

Then another.

And, just to be absolutely certain the lesson had landed, a third.

“There are certain advantages,” she observed pleasantly, as Adam folded around the latest strike, “to fighting gentlemen who insist upon announcing their weaknesses.”

Adam responded with a sound decidedly un-archangelic.

-------

Lucifer arrived fashionably late. He’d descended prepared for war, every ounce of infernal power gathered and ready to intervene before Adam ever reached Charlie.

Instead, he landed just in time to watch Alastor drive Adam into the ground one final time.

Silence settled across the battlefield.

Lucifer blinked. “...Huh.”

He slowly let the power gathering in his hands dissipate.

“Well,” he muttered, “there goes my dramatic entrance.”

-------

The true shock came afterward.

Once the fighting stopped, someone finally noticed. It started with one angel, then another.

A surviving Exorcist stared at the weapons scattered across the battlefield, then at the impossible traces of holy light still clinging to Alastor’s hands.

Recognition flickered, disbelief followed, then horror.

“No...” Another exorcist looked closer. “The blessing... it can’t be... the bloodline...”

Understanding spread across the battlefield like wildfire.

The woman standing amid the carnage.

The Radio Demon. The Butcher of Pentagram City. The gleefully smiling Overlord drenched in angelic blood carried the blood of the goddess herself.

She wasn’t merely touched by divinity. She was the missing saint. The latest daughter of Heaven’s most sacred bloodline. The realization struck both armies with almost equal force.

Lucifer, Vaggie, and Charlie stared. Adam’s army stared. For one long moment, everyone wore exactly the same expression.

You have got to be kidding me. That? Her? The Radio Demon? Seriously?

Across the battlefield, Adam slowly pushed himself upright, still clutching his pride far more tightly than any of his injuries. He looked genuinely shaken, and quickly gave the order to retreat.

What remained of Heaven’s army withdrew in stunned silence, desperate to carry the news back to the Golden City.

The missing saint had been found.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, she’d spent the last century becoming one of Hell’s most infamous Overlords.

From that moment on, the war ceased to be about exterminations. It became about a question neither Heaven nor Hell had ever imagined needing to answer.

What, exactly, were they supposed to do with a saint who’d become a demon?

-------

Chaos settled over both sides of the veil, and it settled fast.

Heaven remained convinced Lucifer had abducted their missing saint, dragged her into Hell, and somehow corrupted one of the holiest bloodlines in Creation out of nothing but spite.

Lucifer, meanwhile, was equally convinced Heaven had planted Alastor in Hell from the very beginning. Obviously, this was some elaborate celestial conspiracy. What better way to undermine Hell than by sending a divinely blessed saint to meddle in Charlie’s redemption project?

It was exactly the sort of overcomplicated plan Heaven would come up with.

Neither side possessed a shred of evidence. Neither side considered that an obstacle.

Alastor, for her part, remained spectacularly unhelpful.

“I’m here entirely of my own free will,” she insisted, with her usual immaculate smile. “And I do intend to give Charlotte’s charming little establishment a genuine opportunity.”

She paused just long enough for everyone to hope she might be finished.

“...Though I remain deeply skeptical.”

It clarified absolutely nothing.

Heaven didn’t believe her. Hell didn’t believe her. Lucifer didn’t believe her. Sera wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to believe her.

Everyone remained thoroughly convinced that everyone else was hiding something.

Charlie, meanwhile, thought this was incredible. Somehow, against every law of probability, the Hazbin Hotel now enjoyed the hesitant, deeply confused support of at least part of Heaven. Granted, “support” might have been stretching the definition somewhat.

It was closer to an awkward agreement that annihilating the building immediately was, perhaps, no longer the wisest course of action.

Still, that was progress.

On top of that, one of Hell’s most powerful Overlords had apparently inherited the blessing of a literal goddess. Charlie decided to count that as another win.

Could be worse. Could be much worse.

Admittedly, learning who Alastor truly was had given her something like emotional whiplash.

Growing up, Charlie had heard stories. Her father had told them on quiet evenings, when old memories crept into his voice and his smile turned just a little sadder than usual. Stories about the goddess, the one who had sacrificed herself to repair the catastrophe his mistake had unleashed upon Creation.

He’d never spoken of her with fear. Only with gratitude, respect, and regret.

Charlie had grown up admiring someone she’d believed belonged solely to ancient history. And now she was standing across the room from that goddess’s descendant. The latest daughter of that sacred bloodline. The saint Heaven had spent millennia protecting.

It explained a great many things but also raised considerably more questions.

Charlie had never understood why Heaven still hated her father so fiercely. Demise had been sealed. The war had ended. Wasn’t that enough?

Apparently not. Lucifer and Lilith had omitted rather a lot.

They had never truly explained the cost of the goddess’s sacrifice. Never mentioned the war that followed his mistake. Never told her the seal wasn’t eternal. Never mentioned that every few centuries, another woman willingly gave part of her life to keep that prison intact.

Charlie was discovering, rather abruptly, that her parents had left out several thousand years of extremely important context.

-------

Heaven and Hell panicked.

Every conversation, every accusation, every frantic strategy meeting eventually circled back to exactly two subjects: the Hazbin Hotel, and Alastor.

Both realms became so consumed with assigning blame that neither stopped to ask the one question that actually mattered.

How, exactly, had Heaven’s promised saint ended up in Hell?

Not who benefited. Not who was responsible.

How?

No one investigated the impossibility itself. No one wondered whether something else might have reached between Heaven and Hell, because everyone was too busy pointing fingers.

-------

Beneath all that noise, beneath every argument, every political crisis, every panicked meeting, every righteous accusation, something else stirred.

Quietly. Patiently. Within the seal.

No one was watching it anymore. Everyone had assumed the danger had passed.

After all, the saint had been found. The mystery had changed shape. The prison itself became an afterthought.

No one noticed the faint fractures spreading through the ancient divine light. No one discovered the curse, the tiny seed Demise had planted generations ago, still lived.

Still slept and still coiled quietly within the latest saint.

Waiting.

It had survived centuries by doing exactly what it had always done, until the perfect moment arrived. Demise had never needed Heaven and Hell to destroy one another. He had only needed them distracted.

The arguments. The suspicion. The mounting hostility between Heaven and Hell. None of it had ever been an unfortunate consequence. It was camouflage, exactly as he’d intended from the very beginning.

While angels argued and demons prepared for another war, while Heaven and Hell searched for someone to blame, no one noticed the prison door slowly beginning to crack.

Deep beneath Hell, where the oldest darkness had waited longer than empires had existed, something smiled.

Soon. The deer would be his.

When the last fragment of the goddess’s blessing finally gave way, Demise would be free, and nothing would be able to stop him.

Centuries of patience. Millennia of planning. Every careful move, every stolen fragment of divinity, every whispered curse hidden within the bloodline.

At last, they would bear fruit.

-------

Nothing could stop it now. Or so Demise believed.

Because for all his cunning, for all his endless patience, he had forgotten one inconvenient truth about time.

Time did not merely move forward. It changed everything it touched. It reshaped kingdoms, overturned certainties, and created possibilities that had never existed before.

Demise had planned for angels. He had planned for demons. He had planned for saints. He had even planned for Lucifer.

What he had not planned for was Lucifer’s daughter.

Charlie Morningstar was never meant to matter. A naïve princess with impossible dreams should have been irrelevant to a scheme thousands of years in the making.

Instead, she did the one thing no prophecy, no strategy, and no ancient evil had ever accounted for.

She gave the damned a choice.

Not survival alone. Not obedience. Not the fear sinners had always been taught to expect and nothing else.

A genuine chance to become something better, because they wanted to.

And in doing so, she changed people. One soul at a time.

Demise had always believed fate was a fixed thread, something that could be tugged, knotted, and patiently woven toward an inevitable end. He had never imagined someone could simply weave something new.

Every sinner who chose redemption instead of despair changed the future ever so slightly. Every act of kindness rewrote a line that had once seemed immutable. Every choice made freely unraveled another thread of the tapestry Demise had spent millennia weaving.

The fate he had so carefully engineered was no longer the only one that existed.

For the first time since the First War, the future was unwritten.

-------

Here was the thing about Alastor.

The divine blood running through her veins explained many things. But, it did not excuse them. No matter how much inherited holiness she carried, the blood on her hands hadn’t appeared by accident.

She’d put it there. One life at a time.

Long before Hell ever learned her name, Alastor hunted monsters.

Not the kind found in storybooks.

The kind who smiled politely in daylight. The kind respectable society invited to dinner. The men who preyed upon the weak, hurt children, brutalized women, and walked away protected by money, influence, or simply the comfortable assumption that no one would ever believe their victims.

Those were the people she chose. Those were the people who disappeared. The world would later call her a serial killer.

It wasn’t wrong. But it was never the whole story.

Because this was America in the 1920s and ’30s, justice was selective, and mercy was expensive. For a woman, especially a mixed-race woman, there were entire systems built to ensure neither would ever be freely given.

Alastor learned very young what it meant to be underestimated.

To be talked over, dismissed, harassed, threatened, and hunted. Every lesson the world taught her, she learned. Every cruelty it offered, she remembered. And when the time came, she repaid every last one, with interest.

The blood of a goddess didn’t make her gentle. It simply gave her steadier hands, sharper judgment, and better aim.

Perhaps that had always been the point.

-------

That, more than anything else, was the quiet truth buried beneath all the spectacle: beneath the comedy, the family Charlie had accidentally built, the wars, the politics, the angels, and the demons.

Holiness did not make someone harmless, and being born in Hell did not make someone beyond saving.

Heaven had sanctioned the Exterminations. Its armies descended year after year, believing slaughter to be righteous. Adam, the first man, the first soul ever welcomed into Heaven, stood at the head of those massacres with a grin on his face, eager for another excuse to spill blood.

Meanwhile, the latest descendant of the goddess herself had accumulated a body count large enough to make veteran sinners pause.

Neither of them fit neatly into the stories people liked to tell. And perhaps that was the problem.

People wanted morality to be simple. They wanted Heaven to be good and Hell to be evil. Saints to be kind and demons to be monsters.

Reality had never shown much interest in cooperating.

While Heaven justified genocide, the daughter of the Devil spent her days trying to save souls everyone else had already abandoned.

While saints committed terrible acts, sinners found reasons to become better.

While angels clung to certainty, demons discovered compassion.

There was no clean side. There never had been.

Only flawed, complicated people, capable of astonishing kindness and unspeakable cruelty in equal measure. Every soul, whether born beneath Heaven’s light or Hell’s fire, had been given the same gift, the same burden, the same impossible freedom.

Choice.

Not once. Not merely at the moment of death. But every day afterward, again and again and again.

Power was never the thing that defined a person. It merely revealed what they chose to do when no one could stop them.

That had always been the lesson.

The goddess had understood it, once. Charlie was trying to prove it, now. Even Lucifer, for all his failures, had once believed in it too.

Free will was never the flaw in Creation. It was the reason Creation had been worth saving in the first place.

In 'You Didn't Know', Emily and Charlie have a verse together where it's almost impossible to decipher the difference between who is singing because they sound so alike.

If Hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky The rules are shades of gray when you don't do as you say When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again

While they are singing the same lyrics, their thought processes are worlds apart. Emily gets the song started in the first place because she is genuinely confronted for the first time with the fact that sinners can do good, and Heaven doesn't care about it. Then, when she sings with Charlie, this is a revelation for her, and she is immediately disillusioned with the "separation between the righteous and the wicked" (as Sera refers to it).

Was talk of virtue just pretension? Was I too naïve to expect you To heed the morals you're purveying?

Charlie, on the other hand, already knew about exterminations, and in fact, her very first bit of dialogue in the show is critical of the angels for outcasting Lucifer and Lilith. Charlie is fully aware of Heaven's flaws and is demanding that they do better – it's not that she believes they already are better.

What are you saying? Let me get this straight You go down there and kill those poor souls? You didn't know?

Demanding better behaviour and electing to ignore the bad – along with the 'excuses' for it – is very core to Charlie's M.O. and is entirely present in how she tries to encourage redemption and her relationship to the Hotel Crew.

The fairytale about how Hell was created by 'rebellious dreamers' and the privileged, Hell-born princess is going to continue the legacy, is Charlie's comfort during the exterminations.

The rest of episode 1 treats us to the human view of Hell, via the sinners and Adam.

Alastor says, via the commercial, that Hell is not a place of rebels who use the gift of "free will" to empower themselves for justice, but instead, they pursue "blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature". Angel Dust concurs, suggesting that sinners will not be attracted by altruism, but by the potential to feel empowered via the exploitation of others (e.g. commodifying his and Alastor's bodies lol). As we come to learn, Husk took such a gamble and ended up losing his soul to Alastor, and Niffty is only present because she feels most comfortable under oppressive duress.

This continues into 'Happy Day In Hell', where Charlie has a positive outlook on the Pentagram, despite being fully aware of the sinners torturing each other, and having her eyes open to all the flaws, to the point of the cannibals getting carnage in her literal eye, lol.

Doing what is required, we all have our role I'm not doin' well Another shitty day in Hell [...] I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced And I know that they're more of an acquired taste But if I open the door and I give them a place At my Hazbin Hotel It'll be a happy day in Hell

Adam then gives his take on the matter in 'Hell is Forever', which is that humans had a life, and they chose sin, which is true, and the sinners we have been presented with so far expressed alignment with.

At the end of the day, Charlie also agrees, which is the motivation for running her redemption hotel. She is not claiming that every sinner deserves to go to Heaven, but is making the point that they should be able to choose to do better, rather than to eternally suffer as crabs in an immorality barrel until they die in extermination roulette (shot like fish in a barrel, perhaps, heh).

Interestingly, Charlie obviously does not have the option to be redeemed because she is not a sinner, and she repeatedly refers to what she is doing as her "destiny", rather than a choice (Vox tease; put a pin in it). But presenting the choice between good and evil is exactly her version of Lucifer presenting Eve with the apple. She wants to bring that kind of free will to the Pentagram.

I will grant that Charlie's Puritanical views and ignorance about systems of oppression are genuine naivety, although I don't think this is what people are getting at, because Vaggi displays similar views but isn't really called naive.

I think the naive accusation Charlie usually gets, particularly when viewing her and Emily as being the same, is the way she buries her head in the sand about how popular redemption will be.

Pretty much everyone tells her that humans are motivated by power, and Lute tells us that Charlie's privilege as a Hell-born (to escape divine judgment and extermination), despite feeling empowering to her, is not real power in the grand scheme. Charlie's lack of influence is a consistent dilemma for her throughout the show, and the masses only listen to her when she's hitching a ride with Alastor and Emily ('Ready For This', declaring Vox the strongest sinner, 'Hear My Hope').

In E2, nobody wants to join the hotel, but Pentious does, because he is pursuing an in with the Vees via Alastor. Obviously, Pentious is lying about his good intentions here, and Angel and Vaggi spell it out for Charlie, but she chooses to be hopeful about his intentions. It's not like she doesn't know things could go wrong, but she holds out, and it does pay off in the end.

Charlie is seen as naive for this, but in her excitement about Pentious joining, she reveals that she doesn't take any of the sinners at the hotel as 'real guests'. Their moral positions are merely tolerated, which is upsetting to Angel, who actually is trying, but his circumstance makes his journey more challenging than Pentious'.

While we are presented with only Angel being upset by this, what this moment tells us is that Charlie has also been simply ignoring Alastor, Niffty and Husk, too, because they aren't trying. She is NOT naive to their faults, yet has no disdain for them. Instead, she actively chooses to take advantage of their practical assistance and invest her redemptive efforts elsewhere, which is 100% the realistic thing to do.

When Alastor is presumed dead or MIA in S1E8 after his (voluntary!) showdown with Adam, Charlie does not dwell on it. And when Alastor quits the hotel and gets 'kidnapped', her initial reaction is to be annoyed with him. She does have some concern for his well-being, but she accepts that if Alastor chooses to put himself in a precarious situation for, seemingly, no reason, he's within his rights to do that, and it's really not her problem.

By contrast, Emily is willing to take accountability for a genocide she didn't know about, is immediately willing to speak for Charlie in her media war against Vox, despite having 0 context for the situation (and this is before the threat of war arises), is willing to risk her life to save the sinners instead of evacuating herself, and, of course, risks her life and loses a wing to save Alastor.

That last one, I'm sure, everyone is going to feel the burn of in the future (baby Hitler moment lol), and generally speaking, I've seen Emily get a lot of flak for insinuating that all sinners are innocent from the fandom. But that is precisely the difference between Charlie and Emily that I don't think people appreciate. Charlie gets accused of seeing the good in truly lost causes, but she's pretty strict, honestly. She just chooses to not be negative about it and always leaves her door open IF people want a second chance.

"Heaven believes in the capacity for good inside of each and every one of you!" "You all just need to decide if you believe in yourselves."

Again, I know it sounds like they're saying the same thing, but they categorically are not. When Charlie tells Vox that she believes anyone can be redeemed, including him, she is 100% combative. She is not inviting him to her hotel, but resolutely sending him away. Charlie's belief that anyone can be redeemed makes her demand better of people, and she doesn't give them the time of day if they aren't putting enough effort in, because she knows exactly how fucked up people can be.

Emily doesn't know, and I do not think naivety is going to be a persistent trait for her, but rather this is the beginning of her arc. Comparing how Charlie deals with Angel Dust to how Emily deals with Pentious illuminates a very core difference between them.

Charlie, at the moment, is frankly closed-minded, which goes hand-in-hand with that strictness about who she judges as trying hard enough or not. She is insensitive about Angel's addiction when she makes him participate in the roleplay with Pentious, diminishing it to a simple matter of saying "no". In S1E3, Angel Dust suggests BDSM as a trust exercise, and nobody has a problem with it, except Chaggie, who basically only hate it because they're sex-negative and presumably super vanilla, with Vaggi calling BDSM "disgusting" and saying nobody would be into it... (Girl, what the fuck are you talking about?!?!)

Furthermore, BDSM scenes require legitimate trust and respect for boundaries via negotiation of all parties involved. Charlie's scripts and roleplay scenes, on the other hand, are entirely dictated by her and leave no room for anything earnest. Angel Dust is a professional actor and sex worker – he knows better than anyone that the performance of intimacy is not the same as actually having it.

This gets followed up in S2E3, with the Western roleplay that Charlie drags everyone into to simulate self-sacrifice. Up until that point, she has given Angel a bunch of restrictive rules in 'Speedrun to Redemption', including bangers (/s) like total sobriety is required to be a good person, and how one dresses is a measure of "dignity".

In dictating that Angel needs to be exactly like Pentious, pressuring him into sharing his trauma, and overall just denying Angel agency on his own path to healing, Charlie is actually the one denying Angel dignity and humiliating/shaming him. This leads to Angel, while still at the hotel and clearly still trying his best to turn his life around, declaring that he believes himself to be irredeemable, too.

Sorry to quote Avatar '09 on you, but "it is hard to fill a cup that is already full", and Charlie's is very much so. She seems to become aware of this flaw by the end of the season when she steps down as hotel manager.

This is how Emily's naivety is both a weakness and a strength: her cup is totally empty, she is open-minded and "determined" to learn. Whereas Charlie just keeps pushing Angel to live his life her way, Emily is extremely excited to get to know Pentious as an individual and tries until she gets it right to help him settle in Heaven.

In 'Speedrun', Charlie knows that redemption is possible, and on the flip side, in 'Like You', Emily knows that descending is impossible (in this circumstance at least, lol). Both Pentious and Angel have been thrust into their respective songs because they put in the work to be better people and have been deemed the worthy ones.

However, a huge difference is that Charlie breaks into song to represent the hotel's values to the media, not taking Angel's personal journey into account, whereas Emily is trying to show Pentious that he doesn't have to be lonely in Heaven, because he says that he misses his friends, and she's sincerely trying to address that (not having the context to understand his feelings for the Hotel Crew in particular).

When it doesn't work, Charlie just tells Angel to try the same things again, but when Emily notices, she stops trying to push Pentious into Heaven society. Instead, she ends up making him the golden eggs and giving him his own space, which he appreciates. In Hell, Charlie ends up really hurting Angel and herself, despite being desperately warned by Vaggi and Angel about Vox and Velvette from the start. This is obviously made a lot worse by the fact that Charlie already had her encounter with Valentino in S1... she is not naive or ignorant to Angel's situation in the way that Emily is to Pentious'.

This open-minded trait is a follow-up on what we saw in 'You Didn't Know' from Emily: when presented with new information, she takes it. And this is why I titled the post "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink", because I think people have been mistakenly assuming this is a lesson that Charlie needs to learn, but time and time again, she has shown she already knows this. The person who is in for a rude awakening is Emily, which is what happens in her first appearance, and also at Vox's rally in 'Silenced' with the gift baskets thing.

Emily feels extremely guilty and accountable for how hurt the sinners are, even though, again, she is not an exorcist, was not privy to the exterminations, and also does not blame Lute or Sera for making Heaven look worse for throwing their weight around. Meanwhile, Charlie blames Vaggi and Lucifer for the hotel's bad press with, honestly, OUTRAGEOUS fury (she came in on demon form, sent out a ring of fire and flipped a couch like... damn, Valentino tease 💀). Charlie buries her head in the sand ("bullshit", as Vaggi puts it) about the fact that Lucifer was hardly a factor in what happened at the rally.

Something that is really core to Charlie's philosophy is that, while her view of what effort looks like is quite narrow, and hopefully we will see it expand over the series, she is always going to give an A for effort, largely because she wishes she would be given such grace. Because of her being such a fiend for fluffy escapism, she doesn't talk Emily out of the gift baskets. She also takes umbrage with Vox showing the pictures of the extermination, because she recognises the angels are trying to help her.

And I'm not gonna lie, while Vox was going to talk shit no matter what, I think the gift baskets made the angels' presence genuinely offensively ignorant. Of course it was, though; it was Emily's idea, and she lives in a bubble, completely insulated from sinners. She is self-aware of this massive blind spot and wants to address it, hence why she brings Pentious to the meeting as a "Hell expert" and is so eager to go down to Hell and talk to Charlie.

But neither Pentious nor Charlie helped her out and told her it was a bad idea, so she had to learn in the hardest way possible (Alastor tease... pinnnn).

While Charlie gives Emily her A for effort, Vaggi and Lucifer don't get theirs because it doesn't fit into Charlie's aesthetic. Honestly, the angels did not come to speak with Charlie to address Vox, either; the gift baskets were originally okayed by Pentious for Charlie (and presumably her hotel guests). The angels addressed the situation as an extension of Charlie, and that is who she reserves her gratitude for.

We see the same thing happen when she tries to rally the Cannibals, then wants to reject them for being... cannibals, but she has Alastor and Rosie save her from making perfect the enemy of good. This is also something that Velvette criticises her for in S2E3.

"Is it true that you believe sinners need to change literally everything about themselves in order to be redeemed? And that the Morningstars currently dislike 98% of the population of sinners?"

I believe this is implied to be a critique of hers via Katie in S2E1 as well, and it would be a follow-up on the themes presented in 'Respectless', where Velvette is dismissed mainly for not fitting in, despite raising a good point, and not getting heard out; Carmilla is talking about how the overlords can prevent losing souls on THEIR chains to exorcists, and Velvette contributes. She gets shut down because Carmilla is cowardly hiding her involvement and a hypocrite, who is happy to arm sinners in turf wars against each other, but not against their collective enemy, since revolt has the potential to involve her family.

Velvette is antagonised, not for being wrong, but mainly because she doesn't suit Carmine's vibe (+ what polite respect is anyone owed, honestly? They're all evil overlords). Of course, she is ageist to Zestial, but it's in retaliation... anyway, much to say on this topic, but this post isn't about Velvette. My point here is that I believe that there is some thematic dialogue occurring here, and since Charlie is the main character, I wouldn't be surprised if Charlie's closed-mindedness is addressed when Velvette gets her time in the spotlight.

Going back to Emily, I think it's possible Alastor will be the one to truly teach her that you cannot make the horse (deer, heh) drink if it refuses to. As I said, this dynamic usually gets attributed to CharlAstor, but on top of Charlie already knowing this, Alastor also notes and relies on the fact that "[Charlie] will never admit to Hell she was wrong". Meanwhile, Emily profusely admits wrongdoing at every chance.

"Those sinners need help", she says, and ends up giving it to someone who, perhaps, didn't want or deserve it. We saw a similar kind of thing play out with Vaggi and Lute in S1, where Vaggi shows Lute mercy and expects her to be changed by it.

"Live knowing you only do because I let you."

...And we all know how that turned out! What's more – as we, the audience, all complained – Lute has not even made good on coming down like "gravity" yet. And we know she will 😬.

If not Alastor, I could also see Abel being the proverbial horse here. Emily installs Abel as Adam's replacement because she wants to give him the chance to be a less violent leader than Lute. He dodges the responsibility, and when push comes to shove... Abel ends up following in Adam's footsteps. No telling which side of the fence he will fall on, but we see in the S2 epilogue that he's conflicted.

If he does side with Lute, however, that would also be a serious wake-up call for Emily that second chances are only as meaningful if taken, which is exactly what Charlie has been saying.

I will explore it further in the comparison between RadioStatic and RoyalHalo's dynamics, but I believe that a tension bubbling up to be addressed is that, beyond the Puritanical aspects, Charlie's scope of goodness is limited. I think it is alluded to by Pentious in 'Live to Live':

It starts with "sorry" Though it cannot just end there

Apologies, non-violence, kindness... those can be a start, but they won't always be enough. We also see it with Husk, where he helps Angel by not bullshitting him in 'Loser, Baby', is very harsh as a therapist, and breaks Angel out of Val's mind control in the S2 finale with a hard smack to the back of the head.

To tease the next post, essentially, both Alastor and Emily give Vox apologies of sorts (for publicly humiliating him, for the exterminations), and they aren't enough for him, because he is really demanding they make up for things he isn't owed (for not reciprocating his feelings, for not letting him into Heaven).

While Vox, of course, is not the judge of divine, big 'R', Redemption, I think there are various flavours of absolution, including in an interpersonal/emotional context. Atoning is the one demonstrated by Pentious, and specifically called out by Speaker (and possibly Sera, iirc). But, especially since we've been told redemption "starts with sorry", I think forgiveness (both to the self and others) is due to get heavier emphasis in the future.

As I said before, Charlie gives an A for effort, but that's not actually how apologies work, as Angel tells her. Alastor and Emily definitely don't get their As for effort alone, but they also don't expect to. As Rosie said, "talk is cheap, but actions – they speak the truth", and that's something that they seem to live by: Alastor spends most of his time in S2 chastising Vox for being all for show; Emily wasn't looking for forgiveness in the end, but she put her money where her mouth is, was moved to act by true compassion, and Hell was also moved by that. The sincerity was so touching that even Katie Killjoy was loving some gay shit lol.

And here, I hope my foil argument isn't sounding so crazy when I say that Vox and Charlie have the opposite expectations: they want people to recognise their intentions, even when they are doing damage in the process, which is what season 2 was all about. Both of them, though they are supported by their families from the start to the bitter end, learn the hard lesson that it just doesn't work that way. And obviously, their respective teachers, Alastor and Emily, show them the opposite sides of that coin.

I'll leave it here for now!