Welcome to the Salty Spittoon

Btw if I say things like “by god” or “good lord” in posts please be aware I don’t mean it in a catholic way I mean it in a 1950s scientist reacting in horror after they create an evil creature in the lab set in the distant future year of 2005

the one negative impact of Project Hail Mary is that gay people on tumblr don’t think of Ryan Gosling as the guy from “hey girl I mean they” anymore

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

image description: tweet by olayemi olurin @/msolurin, reading: There's no high like making a successful hail mary argument. A prosecutor once asked for bail on my client because he had like 63 convictions and I was like judge... 63 convictions sounds like a man who showed up to court at least 63 times. And the judge was like yea you right /end description

everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy

Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???

ai could never outdo my beautiful perverted mutuals

this is because they write with their mind penis and have terrible childhoods and horrible luck, which seems to be the key factor in writing shakespeare level smut

and english is their 4th language

If I wasn’t so sleepy you’d all be soo fucked

Just sleep

There’s no fucking way that works

guys i’m so sorry to say this but exercising and indulging in hobbies rather than scrolling on your phone for 200 hours actually does improve your mood and overall mental health, this has deeply upset me more than anyone

There is something sooo deeply American going on with Seattle Children’s Hospital that I think would brick the minds of everyone outside of the United States.

The CHILDRENS hospital has to restrict helipad landings because of noise complaints from the wealthy home owners living next to it. Only the most urgent patients can land directly at the hospital. While the other kids have to land a mile away and are taken to the hospital via ambulance. Which is an unnecessary risk to the child’s life and also makes the families pay for the helicopter AND ambulance.