Sip of death

Clients’ names and personal information have been omitted to retain their privacy.

These little guys are called Pikas, and they live in the mountains around where I am in Washington State (and other places too, obviously, but I’ve only really *seen* them here), and in these pics they are actually collecting certain types of plants during the rest of the year that they Only Eat In Winter.

Why do they collect food for winter from species that they don’t like to eat the rest of the year? Because these plants have Tannins and other stuff in them that make them taste bad/possibly even make them toxic when the Pikas eat them Fresh… so the lil guys have figured out how to store them in special little chambers in their burrows, and to let the plants *ferment* all year, like we do with dairy products or alcohol! So by the time winter rolls around, all the gross tannins and stuff have broken down from fermenting all year, and the Pikas can live on their stores of delicious home-brewed snacks all through the winter until the better-fresh stuff grows back in the spring!

wendys

what i had: four for $4 burger and lemonade.

what i thought: this is the same as mcdonalds but there is a smiling girl! the guy who invented wendys was called somethng else so who is wendy. Food apparaition?

rating: 3/5. food was boring but mysterious girl warmed my heart

cook out

what i had: hot dog and shake

what i thought: holy shit. also milkshakes in america are like, solid ice cream. i was expecting nesquik

rating: 5/5. the hot dog was nauseating but cost a dollar and the cashier liked toys

steak n shake

what i had: you can only have burgers and shakes from this restaurant so thats what i got baby!! when in roam!! hasta la vista!!

what i thought: siri didnt know how to get there so we got lost on the highway at 1am. WOOPS!!! thats the american life

rating: 4/5. tasted like i was dying, but pleasantly

cracker barrel

what i had: friday fish fry up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what i thought: there was lots of old people in this restaurant. the waitress avoided me because my nails were painted. this is a well documented phenomneom but biscuits are definitely something different in this country than my country

rating: 2/5. scary torture cabin

costco

what i had: piza slice

what i thought: i know this isnt technicaly a restaurant but drinks were 50 cents so it gets an honorable mention. there was a crate of mayonnaise but i didnt try that.

what i had: burrito. do they make other things?

what i thought: the logo is a chilli pepper but there werent actually any chilli peppers you could have in the food? i enjoyed the dainty red basket

rating: 3/5. guess burritos just always taste good, no matter what theyre made of. i think the chipotle burritos were made using some kind of food product but im not sure.

sonic drive thru

what i had: loaded chilli cheese dog’ fourht of july baby!! happy star wars day

what i thought: very inconceivable. there is a sit in a drive in and a drive thru and the sonic drive thru person comes over to your car in roller skates. its a made up cartoon store. it doesnt exist

rating: 5/5. we spent 20 minutes googling if you tip at sonic and in the end we drove off so my guilt prevents me from assessing it poorly

taco bell

what i had: it only sells tacos in like threes so i got three tacos.

what i thought: its like a dorito with a leaf stapled to it. why is it called taco bell? also, who am i, inside?

rating: 4/5. i flung six tacos in the microwave when we got back and i enjoyed watching them roll over each other playfully -  made me think of my childhood and the political conspiracy around my birth.

sheetz

what i had: chicken nuggets at 2am

what i thought: it was interesting that about half of the items on the interactive menu ended with a ‘z’ rather than an s. while that was fun - i would not go so far as to say i died at sheetz but i certainly did not leave it in one piece due to the colossal spinning death blade embedded into the milkshake machine

mako

unknown

cameroon

burkina faso

mali

Ndebele

burkina faso

The Great Temple of Ramesses II at Abu Simbel, Egypt

The Nubian Pyramids at Meroe, Sudan

Stone Town, Zanzibar, Tanzania

Bibliotheca Alexandrina in Alexandria, Egypt, a commemoration of the destroyed Library at Alexandria

Bosjes Chapel, South Africa

The Gando School by Diébédo Francis Kéré, Gando, Burkina Faso

The Dyeji Building, Luanda, Angola

Kristina Elise

IG: kristinaxelise