Laundry Line Believer

this literally looks like heaven and hell colliding

went to trader joe’s today and my cashier handed me my 2.55 in change and pointed at the clock which read 2:55 and said “look at that. that’s liquid time… serendipity… have a nice ride”

I love how tumblr is reverse chronological order so when your mutual starts having a blorbo breakdown overnight you get to start with the insane conclusion and work your way back to where they first went off the rails.

i love you sober friendly spaces i love you restaurants w mocktails on the menu i love you social events not hosted at bars i love you bringing non-alcoholic drinks to parties i love you shamelessly being sober so people know it’s accepted i love you not making fun of ppl who don’t drink i love you still inviting people who don’t drink to social events where ppl are drinking if u know they’re comfortable w it i love you normalizing not drinking

I love the word cunt it's so fresh so fun I hope we all have a cuntastic 2023

The funniest thing to me about Benoit Blanc in Glass Onion is that I didn’t realize that his striped outfit at the pool was a swimsuit, so I just saw him get in the water in his little suit and was like “yeah, that makes sense for him”

Why did this make me laugh

Because my friend you have a jovial soul

Fuck. Those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. What the fuck do I do with this

Unionize with ur fellow pedestrians. They can’t run us all over

this is how right of way works on college campuses

she wears short skirts, i have the high ground

it’s over anakin, i’m on the bleachers

Asserting dominance over my cat by slapping the red dot and turning off the laser pointer. I can kill it just fine, sounds like a skill issue little buddy.

i love old practical effects because if something was supposed to be scary theyd just make it wet