No Braincells, Only Cool Rocks

If i bite the hand that fingers me it's because i have an oral fixation and I'm evil

butch picking out the lipstick they want to be marked up by

reblog to disturb jk rowling

I can’t make pasta any more without mumbling to myself, “wet the drys… then dry the wets…”

The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

Please respect my privacy

my deepest apologies

I forgive you

Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

wait I have one more story. there's a group of anti-abortion protesters who often set up by the Ethiopian cafe I hang out in, and when I was waiting to cross one of them held up an aborted fetus sign and said "how does this make you feel?" and I said "hungry", and then I was so satisfied by my own cleverness that I missed the lights and stepped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic