weapologizefortheinconvenience

little miss normal didn't hear what the group was talking about because she hasn't stopped reminiscing internally about how good it felt when she successfully managed to say her joke at the right time to make everyone laugh 30 minutes ago

sob emoji is up there with the period and the comma

work like a white onion play like a green onion fuck like a red onion

in my little pony universe youd go to a job interview and theyd be like so how does your cutiemark reflect your dedication to this position. And every time youd have to spew some bullshit about how your cutiemark of two tennis rackets actually means youre a team player and good at multitasking and view the market like a playing field. or whatever. and you wouldnt even get the job

Thanks to Equestria v Sugar Sprinkle, cutie mark interview questions are considered hiring discrimination, so if anypony asks you any cutiemark related questions or even alludes to any questions about your cutiemark such as "In your own words, describe your life purpose" you can and should refuse to answer. Know your rights, ponies.

All my doubters become routers when I admin the network of success

what does the bible say about spike colar

waiter. there is a language in my soup

a broken link is a kind of dead wife

I think the "pre" and "post" parts in "preposterous" should cancel each other out but everyone else seems to find my idea completely erous

there r literally billions of reels u could have seen b4 u die but instead u wasted ur life being with those u love.

Peeling an orange that doesn't want to be peeled is the most thankless fucking task. What in the zoo animal enrichment.

It’s fucked up how too little sleep can make you sleepy but also too much sleep can make you sleepy. Being completely awake is a lie sold to us by Big Alarm Clock