MIKA

bc i spent way too much

time on this good lord

♡ they meet and immediately like each other (goodbye conflict, we barely knew you)

♡ the only thing keeping them apart is a misunderstanding that one conversation would fix

♡ both characters describe the other as "beautiful" within three pages of meeting

♡ their chemistry is told not shown (the narrator insists they have spark. they don't.)

♡ the love interest has no personality outside of loving the protagonist

♡ they argue once, make up immediately, never argue again

♡ obstacles are external. they always agree with each other about everything.

♡ the rival love interest exists for two chapters then vanishes without explanation

♡ they almost kiss. something interrupts. this happens four times. on the fifth time they kiss. the end.

♡ the love interest is described as funny, clever, and kind. we see none of this.

♡ their big emotional moment is in the rain. it is always in the rain.

♡ the breakup lasts exactly one chapter before they reconcile

♡ "i've never felt this way before" said by someone with no prior emotional history

♡ both confess feelings at the same time. no awkwardness. no stakes. just synchronized emotion.

♡ their first kiss is perfect. no bumped noses. no wrong angle. cinematic and frictionless.

♡ jealousy subplot introduced and dropped without consequence

♡ they have one shared interest and it is the plot

♡ trauma bonding mistaken for romantic chemistry (these are different things)

♡ the side characters ship them loudly. this is not a substitute for actual tension.

♡ one of them dies temporarily. other is devastated. they come back. no lasting emotional damage.

♡ they end up together because the plot ends, not because they chose each other

commission for @hitheeprithee, his minecraft OC Xylem! thank you for commissioning me 💙