It happened so slowly. And yet, all at once. You were once my Mom. Addiction and mental illness are all that left. And I have to be okay with you living the rest of your life thinking I am the bad guy. Because you need to justify your behavior to yourself somehow.
So fine, but you mark my words this generational trauma ended at me. You calling me pathetic and disgusting in front of my grandpa. You telling me you couldn't be more ashamed of me if you tried.
Keep in mind followers, I am a regular girl. I went to college, I have a regular job, I'm happy, I have a man who loves me. There is no world in which any of these words hold any kind of truth. That's just how absolutely gone my mother is. You'd think well jees what did you do to her?
Other than having occasional meltdowns for 25 years when she was drunk and insane? I've been there. Even when I didn't want to be. I am the only one in the family who has taken a stand and cut her out of my life. And yet I was the one to show up for her on her birthday because I was so sad for her. I was the one to call her everyday after fumar died. Empathy makes it hard. But then I am haunted by the reminders of who you really are now.
She is an absolute shadow now. I offered to pay for therapy or rehab. No. You can't even talk to her anymore. Drunk at all hours. To avoid having to talk at all.
So I guess that's that. I'll always miss the good times.
stormborns
areudirty
origamiaround
ellievsbear
yousharknotpass
snowghoul
baratheonpilled
