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Kirk: captains log stardate whatever, today is gonna be a great day!

Bones: no it's all terrible. U suck. Go fuck yourself

Sulu: captain there's weird readings here

Kirk: nah it's probably fine

Spock: actually we've got a 5000% chance of dying

Kirk: well fuck

---

Uhura: *technobabble*

Kirk: onscreen!

Evil alien: muahahaha

Spock: captain I suspect they are evil

Bones: no shit Sherlock

Evil alien: you're mine puny humans!

Kirk: no u

Scotty: captain everything is down

Spock: I have an idea

*Battle scene*

Kirk: is it dead

Spock: probably not

Chekov: *something in Russian*

Kirk: I have an idea

*Battle scene part two*

Kirk: all in a days work

Spock: illogical

Bones: fuck you and fuck space and fuck this

The polycycle is complete