call me pretty and nasty

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

yo bro lets just dillydally later when ur free

schrödinger's flirting. i mean it as much as you do

hey what FUCK do you mean "MCR dropped a 6-minute-long new song 31 minutes ago" am I a joke to you

“gays can’t drive” speak for yourselves bc brother i am in the thick of it every single day. every day i am driving. and every day i feel rage

LIES AND DECEIT

A THOUSAND YEARS IN JAIL FOR MOTHER

Jail!!! Jail for mother!!! Jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!

First of all, how dare you!

The microbes inside me are pleased by my yogurt offering. I live another day.

[ID: A tweet from Twitter user 'lindsays_aloser' reading; "all vampires are gay. LGBT stands for Let's Go Bite Throats". End ID]