another dreamless night

stop with that nonchalant shit and bark for me

Apples are so fucked up you can get two from the same pile ans one tastes more like an apple than anything youve ever eaten and the other tastes like water poisoned by pharaohs

the most important virtues for the young woman are as follows: time theft, selfishness, orgasms, irreverence to authority, sacrilegious behavior, a questioning mind, and eating regular meals.

I once wore green cargo pants with a black hoodie in Belfast in the mid 2000s and two separate people yelled "alright there Kim Possible?"

a fella in my year came into school in ankle socks once and he wasn’t even 5 minutes in the door when someone asked if his legs were getting cold

England isn't a real country, stupid. England is a lie to sell you more Doctor Who

not now kitten. daddy's realizing that the scene he invested 1000 words into could be significantly improved but only if he started over from scratch