Did y'all know george thurwood invented skeletons?

(confidently) no, that's a self-tolling bell. it tolls automatically, signifying nothing for the hearer. why

my mom just threatened to beat up this one guy gangnam style

accidentally let slip "you will be buried in my pyramid when I die" to a coworker last week btw

if i were in charge of star wars i would end the last movie witth yoda reading the story out of a big book and he gives a little chuckle and says "happened, none of that did." and then he gets out of his truck and waddles into walmart

pjackk's corpse has washed up upon the shore rusted and covered in seaweed

they pushed his corpse back out to sea

they put teefer in street fighter, now it's street biter

They put a cigarette in street fight, now it's street lighter

They put the plague in street fight, now it’s street blighter

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

if pjackk can return from the dead then maybe there is hope for us all

got bad news.

vibrator store, you CANNOT send me an email that says "she deserves to feel good" with a discount code for mother's day, you CANNOT be doing that

nevermind post cancelled he's dead again

the summer is like well what if it was unbearable outside and you can't wear any cool jackets. and everyone's going to tell you that this is the best time of the year. and you're the crazy one

This is how it must feel to have the gift of prophecy

Subtle foreshadowing