Ignore the mess

Because the others have already been through the death of a friend. A member of their family. They lived for months thinking she died. They know that pain and are about to experience it again.

Brooklyn though? She has witnessed the others nearly die several times (but they were okay right after and/or she could do something) and did think Ben died very early on when he fell off the monorail. However, that was before they bonded, before they were close? Now? It is clear she loves Ben dearly. And she ends up in a moment where she's helpless to save him and she thinks she's going to watch him die painfully.

Do you think she sometimes looks at the others and wonders how they ever forgave her for letting them feel that kind of pain for months?

Watching one of them die slowly and painfully for less than 24 hours nearly shattered her. Do you think she sometimes wonders if she would have ever forgiven one of them if they did that to her? After everything with Ben?

only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”

I tell her to be my guest and give me a call when she gets her jaw broken, I always carry a first aid kit and a pepper spray.

She calls me a misogynistic asshole.

A cis man tells me that he'd sure love some T.

Gave him my prescription and best of luck with the constant shortages and getting denied.

He calls me a pussy.

I'm fighting for my life and reproductive rights. I get told to get off women's fights, that it's not about me, like I shed my womb after my first T shot.

I search for support groups for SA victims, and I'm stuck in the same “women/NBs only”. Still shooting my shot, send an application. I introduce myself. Never get a call back.

I go to a trans night. Say I go by he/him. Get told back “yeah, that's how we all start !” by a trans woman. I'm too exhausted, I get up and I leave.

I hang out with my friends, one of them drunkenly says masculinity is a prison we must learn to escape. She gets rows of applause. Back to drinking alone.

Yes I could explain it. But who'd you rather be ? A delusional girl or a man made threat ?Or it could be better, I could just not exist ! And we'd bleach my corpse and I'd become a casualty. Not an F, ot an M, a W for Wound and for Wrong.