Purrrgatory

Every bard sings it so much at the holiday season even Jaskier is sick of it.

Geralt has developed an eye twitch when he hears it. Yen lights people of fire if they sing it. Triss lightly poisons them. Vesemir gives them the dad look of disappointment. Eskel just grimaces and tries to endure.

Lambert seems to fucking unironically love it and sings it year round.

Ciri feels Uncle Lambert is clearly the only one with taste in the whole damn family.

They have created what they consider is a lovely duet of the song even though Ciri is tone deaf, and Lambert never stays in a key. 

“What are you up to?” Geralt’s eyes narrow.

Jaskier hops from one foot to the other. “Nothing!”

“Hmm.” He casts a glance at Jaskier, who is not meeting his eye.

His hands are clasped tightly together and he’s awfully fidgety. Geralt considers what mischief he could have got up to. Gambling debts? Angry spouses? Venereal disease?

Better to find out sooner rather than later. “Spit it out,” he snaps.

Jaskier turns to him with a look of feigned innocence, like a cat caught with its paw in the cream.

“That look won’t work on me,” he growls. “Whatever you‘re hiding, out with it. Or I’ll leave you here by the side of the road to be eaten by kikimores.”

Jaskier gasps. “You wouldn’t!”

Geralt raises an eyebrow. “Try me.”

Jaskier’s face falls, and Geralt feels a pang of guilt. He’d only meant to tease, but Jaskier looks truly crestfallen. He never had been good at gauging banter.

“It’s just...” Jaskier‘s face scrunches up. “Don’t be angry. It’s just that he looked so lost and lonely, and he needed a home.”

Geralt has visions of Jaskier taking in some boy from a village, and the guilt is replaced by anger. Don’t they have enough to worry about, trying to find Ciri and hide from Nilfgaard? They can’t very well adopt another child.

He opens his mouth to snap just that, but shuts it all of a sudden when Jaskier holds up his hands and opens them.

There, sat cheerfully in his palm, is a fat green frog.

Geralt stares.

“Ribbit,” the frog says.

“He needs a ride to a nice lake shore,” Jaskier says, chewing at his lip. “I thought he could travel with us for a bit. You don’t mind, do you?”

Jaskier turns to look at him with wide, pleading eyes, cradling the frog to his chest like a beloved pet. It’s stupidly endearing.

Geralt feels a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth and quickly turns away before Jaskier can see it.

The frog ribbits once again.

Jad Karadin, a Witcher of the Cat school, now rich merchant, was only rich due to his nefarious trade partners. Having been previously associated with him, Aiden decided it was best to cut ties with him. Jad Karadin agreed, but he wanted those ties to be cut a little too permanently for Aiden's tastes.

So, after a botched attempt on his life, Aiden had helped the fucker out by making it look successful. Thus allowing him to rid himself of Karadin and his gang, and start a new life doing whatever the hell he wanted.

There was one thing he hadn't planned on, and that was Lambert, a Witcher of the Wolf School and his best friend, finding out about his untimely demise. Lambert had somehow found out it was Karadin who caused his "death"(remember he nearly did!), and tracked him down.

With Geralt's help, sweet sweet Lambert had dispatched Karadin quite easily. A retired Witcher was no match against two practicing ones. When Aiden had found out his heart warmed at the thought. Lambert had cared so much about their friendship he sought to avenge him. He didn't realize till that moment that he had someone in his life who truly cared for him. And here he was all set to start a new life.

Aiden decided to track the sappy fuck down. When Lambert saw him his eyes widened, "Your... your alive?"

Aiden smiled sheepishly, "Yes, the uh, details regarding my death were greatly exaggerated... mostly by me."

Lambert frowned as he took a tentative step toward him, "I... I killed a man for you."

Aiden grinned, "Yes, you did pup, and it was ever so sweet."

Lambert's approach became more angry, "He was innocent!"

Aiden raised his hands, "Innocent from succeeding, but not innocent from the attempt. Not to mention he was involved in a lot of dubious affairs."

Lambert finished closing the distance between them. He gripped Aiden's shirt and pulled him roughly toward him. He smashed their lips together, pulling Aiden into a kiss.

Aiden gasped in surprise at first then melted into the kiss. When they finally pulled away for air, Aiden grinned, "I should fake my death more often."

"I thought you were dead," Lambert growled. "I thought I lost..." his voice broke, "I thought I lost the man I loved."

Aiden's heart quickened in his chest. He had always felt deeply for Lambert but he foolishly never realized he felt the same way. He smiled as he cupped Lambert's cheek, "Never again pup. Never again will I leave your side."

Lambert glared and pulled him close, "You better not."

i almost made it sad. i was this close 

@sapientiaethumanitas went [in a way] treat-or-treating! 🎃👻🎃👻

Wooooooo done!!!!!

Used this screen shot! Really wanted to reimagine the somber mood of sad Sam in the shower.