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@mewsifer

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Someone get this man an Oscar
Rum Tum Tugger
Letâs dance! (Part 1)
Hannibal is the funniest show to ever air because Hannibal is supposed to be this quiet, polite, unassuming doctor that nobody would suspect, like when he kills someone in his office in âself defenseâ and everyone is like âwow...you took him down in a fight? Thatâs crazy.â But the problem is they cast Mads Mikkelsen who is in fact six feet tall and like 200 pounds and built like a brick house in a well tailored suit so Will Graham is like âhe MURDERS peopleâ
and everyone else is like âhim?? Hannibal??? How could you say that?â And then it cuts to Hannibal in his fucked up library and his fancy suits with his steel tree trunk arms looking absolutely like THE most menacing human being to have ever walked the earth.
this show exists in an alternate reality where we the viewer have to accept that someone could say âthereâs something off about that guyâ and then people who have spent their whole lives profiling dangerous murderers sit down in a library with this man
and are like, âI honestly donât see what you meanâ

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go kart
go kart
biting is a love language. no i will not elaborate.
âItâs well known that Geralt preferred to travel alone - begrudgingly making an exception for Jaskier (âŚ)â
Jaskier 1000% writes the continentâs version of Mariah Careyâs All I Want for Christmas is You.
Every bard sings it so much at the holiday season even Jaskier is sick of it.
Geralt has developed an eye twitch when he hears it. Yen lights people of fire if they sing it. Triss lightly poisons them. Vesemir gives them the dad look of disappointment. Eskel just grimaces and tries to endure.
Lambert seems to fucking unironically love it and sings it year round.
Ciri feels Uncle Lambert is clearly the only one with taste in the whole damn family.
They have created what they consider is a lovely duet of the song even though Ciri is tone deaf, and Lambert never stays in a key.Â
(they donât actually like it, they despise it, but torturing their family with it? That is a gift that keeps on giving).

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Yes but also not entirely
A prompt for your enjoyment, Jaskier is being super secretive and Geralt is concerned, thinking he's hurt or something but then finds out that he's just hiding a little frog friend he found and thought Geralt would be mad
âWhat are you up to?â Geraltâs eyes narrow.
Jaskier hops from one foot to the other. âNothing!â
âHmm.â He casts a glance at Jaskier, who is not meeting his eye.
His hands are clasped tightly together and heâs awfully fidgety. Geralt considers what mischief he could have got up to. Gambling debts? Angry spouses? Venereal disease?
Better to find out sooner rather than later. âSpit it out,â he snaps.
Jaskier turns to him with a look of feigned innocence, like a cat caught with its paw in the cream.
âThat look wonât work on me,â he growls. âWhatever youâre hiding, out with it. Or Iâll leave you here by the side of the road to be eaten by kikimores.â
Jaskier gasps. âYou wouldnât!â
Geralt raises an eyebrow. âTry me.â
Jaskierâs face falls, and Geralt feels a pang of guilt. Heâd only meant to tease, but Jaskier looks truly crestfallen. He never had been good at gauging banter.
âItâs just...â Jaskierâs face scrunches up. âDonât be angry. Itâs just that he looked so lost and lonely, and he needed a home.â
Geralt has visions of Jaskier taking in some boy from a village, and the guilt is replaced by anger. Donât they have enough to worry about, trying to find Ciri and hide from Nilfgaard? They canât very well adopt another child.
He opens his mouth to snap just that, but shuts it all of a sudden when Jaskier holds up his hands and opens them.
There, sat cheerfully in his palm, is a fat green frog.
Geralt stares.
âRibbit,â the frog says.
âHe needs a ride to a nice lake shore,â Jaskier says, chewing at his lip. âI thought he could travel with us for a bit. You donât mind, do you?â
Jaskier turns to look at him with wide, pleading eyes, cradling the frog to his chest like a beloved pet. Itâs stupidly endearing.
Geralt feels a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth and quickly turns away before Jaskier can see it.
The frog ribbits once again.
âHmm,â he says, and leads them onward.
If Eskel canonically fucked a succubus and Geralt canonically had an orgy with two women and a dragon, I think Lambert should canonically be able to fuck a specific cat witcher...itâs only fair.
He does, and said cat Witcher is very alive, dunno what youâre talking about đđ
Due to some unfortunate encounters, some of which were definitely not his fault, Aiden had to lie low for a while. He hadn't planned on lying low for that long, and he certainly hadn't meant to fake his death. But circumstances... made it necessary.
Jad Karadin, a Witcher of the Cat school, now rich merchant, was only rich due to his nefarious trade partners. Having been previously associated with him, Aiden decided it was best to cut ties with him. Jad Karadin agreed, but he wanted those ties to be cut a little too permanently for Aiden's tastes.
So, after a botched attempt on his life, Aiden had helped the fucker out by making it look successful. Thus allowing him to rid himself of Karadin and his gang, and start a new life doing whatever the hell he wanted.
There was one thing he hadn't planned on, and that was Lambert, a Witcher of the Wolf School and his best friend, finding out about his untimely demise. Lambert had somehow found out it was Karadin who caused his "death"(remember he nearly did!), and tracked him down.
With Geralt's help, sweet sweet Lambert had dispatched Karadin quite easily. A retired Witcher was no match against two practicing ones. When Aiden had found out his heart warmed at the thought. Lambert had cared so much about their friendship he sought to avenge him. He didn't realize till that moment that he had someone in his life who truly cared for him. And here he was all set to start a new life.
Aiden decided to track the sappy fuck down. When Lambert saw him his eyes widened, "Your... your alive?"
Aiden smiled sheepishly, "Yes, the uh, details regarding my death were greatly exaggerated... mostly by me."
Lambert frowned as he took a tentative step toward him, "I... I killed a man for you."
Aiden grinned, "Yes, you did pup, and it was ever so sweet."
Lambert's approach became more angry, "He was innocent!"
Aiden raised his hands, "Innocent from succeeding, but not innocent from the attempt. Not to mention he was involved in a lot of dubious affairs."
Lambert finished closing the distance between them. He gripped Aiden's shirt and pulled him roughly toward him. He smashed their lips together, pulling Aiden into a kiss.
Aiden gasped in surprise at first then melted into the kiss. When they finally pulled away for air, Aiden grinned, "I should fake my death more often."
"I thought you were dead," Lambert growled. "I thought I lost..." his voice broke, "I thought I lost the man I loved."
Aiden's heart quickened in his chest. He had always felt deeply for Lambert but he foolishly never realized he felt the same way. He smiled as he cupped Lambert's cheek, "Never again pup. Never again will I leave your side."
Lambert glared and pulled him close, "You better not."
Who knew being dead could be so profitable.
Wow I love this so much like ?!?! This is now my canon. This is legitimately what happened.
Geralt in âSweetest Chillâ or Jaskier in âCherry Sodaâ? -dandelionswolf
i almost made it sad. i was this closeÂ
on another note, yall really love the cherry soda palette, itâs by far the most popular request and funnily enough the one i donât have any of the colours forÂ
*epic latin chorus*

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@sapientiaethumanitas went [in a way] treat-or-treating! đđťđđť
Ok so. I'm aware you didn't ask openly but genuinely wanted to sketch an Ezekiel for you cause... why not? I love how our muses have met, their story which so spontaneously blown up and how their relationship shaped through the time and the circumstances they've faced! Have a wonderful weekend đ
Wooooooo done!!!!!
Used this screen shot! Really wanted to reimagine the somber mood of sad Sam in the shower.