love yourself first

The doctors call this self destruction —I call it home, in a body that’s burning. I tell them to let it burn. He says doesn’t it hurt? I say you smell smoke and run the other way. I smell smoke and breathe it in. He says don’t you want to be saved? I say do you see any smoke alarms? He says aren’t you tired? From burning all the time? I ask isn’t everyone? Of course I am tired, of course. But what other choice do I have? Everyone has their own fire, I am just more open about what makes me burn. He says you don’t have to light yourself on fire to let people know you’re in pain. I ask can you show me another way? I have asked the earth so many times to let it rain but I get nothing but high winds and heat waves. I have nothing but this burning body and you’re asking why I choose to burn. I tell him I am willing to burn to forget. I am willing to let this body burn to start over. He says aren’t you scared you’ll turn to ash? I tell him my body is a home that is burning. I am not afraid to burn. I am afraid to live.