Happy May the Fourth! I added a second page to this comic from last year!
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@mercurymusing
Happy May the Fourth! I added a second page to this comic from last year!

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even with watching a movie from like the 90s it’s insane how much everyone looks like a Normal Person compared to anything filmed today
it’s something about the aggressively obvious 2020s makeup too on everyone in every movie no matter what the time period is. it’s the 19th century they do not have highlight!!!!
look at meg march in 1994 vs 2019. they both look great! however! emma watson is wearing very obvious lipstick, mascara, concealer under eyes heavy foundation etc etc. you can see this at a glance. i literally in making this comparison had to google if this was a promotional image that she took or actually a still from the movie because her makeup just looks like normal 2019 makeup that a girl from 2019 would wear!!! (not to mention her costume. different post.) then look at trini alvarado on the other left. obviously she’s wearing tons of makeup because she’s in a movie and she has tons of lights on her all the time but it doesn’t look she is!! you can see circles under her eyes!! she doesn’t have The Shine to her face that emma watson does. she looks so much more believable as a girl from the 1860s not because she’s a perfect representation but simply because she does not Obviously Have On Modern Makeup
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
I’m not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

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thinking about the time some terf dipshit on twitter said "you weirdos will be saying TREES are a social construct next" and I got nerdsniped and waded in like "trees ARE a social construct. there is no fundamental binary characteristic that separates trees from other plants" and well, I'll spare you the details but the conversation ended with the dipshit yelling "PALM TREES HAVE WOOD" which is hilarious because "wood" actually does have a pretty unambiguous, binary definition and palms in fact do not qualify
Put in the tags the completely finished (whether cancelled or wrapped up on its own terms) TV series that has YOUR perfect ending, however you define that
Please don’t include huge spoilers for the specifics of the endings, and it would also make me happy if people don’t use this to talk about the shows whose endings they hated
My friend: hey check out this concept art of Rumi's dad.
Me: IS THAT GONG FUCKING YOO???
Am I crazy these are the same man.
Sorry I'm still not over this.
I can't believe Rumi's dad is just Gong Yoo as Goblin/Dokkaebi. What the fuck man.
Having a normal one. Baby hawk in my car.
Baby delivery successful. Will keep an eye out for where a nest could be in case it can be returned soon.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Some recommended fics on Royal Road, although as I prepare to post this I'm realizing that a few have removed early chapters because you now have to get the ebook from Amazon or somewhere.
#1 - Super Supportive
Character-focused, with slowly progressing story stuff. Things do happen, plot moves along, but this should be thought of as a slice of life thing. It looks, on the surface, like this is about super heroes - but really, there's basically zero traditional super hero stuff.
Instead, it's someone who has been chosen to gain super powers (which is really a thing granted by alien wizards, because ACTUALLY super powers are just locked-down highly specific magic) and how they deal with some disasters and growth and navigating having some secrets and stuff.
This story is about: The daily life of a teenager named Alden. He's growing up, slowly growing his powers, and figuring out who he really wa
#2 - Bog Standard Isekai - It's technically an Isekai, but really the fact that the main character is from Earth has very little impact for the most part. It's a very well done LitRPG fantasy story, while still feeling unique in a good way. Not overly heavy on the LitRPG elements, and the world feels very realistic (meaning the fantasy stuff is consistent) without being gritty and grimdark.
>>> Book 1 available on Amazon here >>> Book 2 available on Amazon here >>> Book 3 available on Amazon here Somet
#3 - Tyrants of Earth - The premise involves people from Earth gaining access to a sort of LitRPG world, but it takes place after this has had time to become somewhat normalized (and after the full-on wars that it caused have settled). Only a relative handful of people get to go there and gain powers and stuff, but can (mostly) go back and forth from there to Earth which means the story partly takes place on Earth.
The main character manages to have the best parts of the "better than everyone else at this and (almost) always wins" type of protagonist, while still coming across as a real and fallible person who isn't just a smug asshole. I mean, he's smug sometimes, but it's called out and he's probably doing it on purpose to mess with someone.
All Ryan ever wanted to do was become an adventurer. Quests, skills, quirky teammates and posting exploits on Realmnet. What’s not to love?
#4 - Die Trying - A fascinating take on a LitRPG. First of all, a big part of the plot is them calling out that the video game elements are strange and seem to warp reality: what does it mean to hit zero hit points? That's not how things work, you're injured to varying degrees but... oh, no, that guy hit zero and is just dead. Hmm. Okay, what about this dodge roll ability, I don't even know how to roll like that and... no, there I go.
But also, it's billed as a roguelike which made me assume the story would involve rapidly going through a scenario and resetting (via death) frequently. Instead, the story is taking it slow. Not what I would have guessed, but I'm really digging it.
Every night, the people who have been chosen as part of this bizarre game are teleported to a post-apocalyptic fantasy world. At the end of each "round" (or when they die) they wake up back on Earth. The story just keeps getting more interesting, and the main character is fascinating: on the surface he's a capitalism-poisoned guy who is obsessed with getting money, but there's a lot more underlying that.
Jump into a fantasy deathworld. Smuggle magical loot and refugees back to Earth. Try not to die. Michael Wade's only goal in life was to get
#5 - Mage Tank - It's an Isekai, but with a very strange fantasy world. It's hard for me to articulate the vibe. I enjoyed it right away, but the story grows and matures over time and starts building some very interesting lore.
It's a little silly, and very over the top.
Book 4 is releasing on Amazon on January 28th and will be stubbing here on January 20th-ish. (Chapters 217 to 287 plus the Epilogues) After
Honorable Mention - Leftover Apocalypse - this one is mine. It's not bad.
Calliope Smith's eighteenth birthday wasn't going great, but at least getting yanked into a world of magic and monsters is a good way to dit
Funniest way to boost your own story. Escalating series of "huh, sounds neat, ah no stubbed" links and then the last one lets you right in.
And then doesn't let go for several days.
the giant told me he discovered a hack for getting the creature to sleep, which is singing Silent Night. I immediately adopted this also (to good effect). the thing is, I only knew the first two lines of the song. everything after that, including melodically, was improvised.
me in the car, 3 weeks into singing my now-stable, unique variant of Silent Night: "So I sing an improv version –"
the giant, who sometimes hears me on the baby monitor: "I know."
me: "In between lines, I add these two hoots that I think are pretty good. [demonstrates]"
81k, stricken: "Don't sing it like that…"
poor humming due to a cold, but you get the idea
i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges
saw someone trying to roast this guy on reddit but all the comments were just like "fuck off, that's based"
nature is healing

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Telling My Father
by James Crews
I found him on the porch that morning, sipping cold coffee, watching a crow dip down from the power line into the pile of black bags stuffed in the dumpster where he pecked and snagged a can tab, then carried it off, clamped in his beak like the key to a room only he knew about. My father turned to me then, taking in the reek of my smoke, traces of last night’s eyeliner I decided not to wipe off this time. Out late was all he said. And then smiled, rubbing the small of my back through the robe for a while, before heading inside, letting the storm door click shut behind him. Later, when I stepped into the kitchen, I saw it waiting there on the table—a glass of orange juice he had poured for me and left sweating in a patch of sunlight so bright I couldn’t touch it at first.
Jaguar | Andre Novales
@royalfirefly