I'm a writer and artist, love hurt/comfort, found family, character design and media analysis. (Also jewelry, colors, design in general including CSS, fonts, cats, my blahaj, fairytales, crafts, singing, etc.)
So I have stuff like that on my blog, and the rest of the time I yap about my life, chat with my moots, and do silly Tumblr things.
Some facts about me:
24 yo, based in Germany
Majoring in Multimedia (aka crying about pixels)
Either busy writing, making arts and crafts, or on tumblr
Feel free to tag me in stuff, whether it be tag games or just stuff that made you think of me :D
(If you don't want to be tagged in tag games and stuff, please let me know, I'll stop)
I know it won’t mean shit to the bots, but for genuine questions: I don’t do art commissions or strict requests, but if you have a suggestion and I like it, I may doodle it when I have time.
(dividers and badges in this post are by me :D)
Okay, now for stuff I actually do on this blog under the cut, aka my #s and fandoms:
General Tags
#tasha talks : Life updates and the like, non-fandom related opinions etc
#tasha asks : for... asks. lol.
#tasha's 4thewords stuff : This is a website I use for writing with word goals and quests and stuff, and sometimes I post about what quests I'm doing rn or how my avatar looks and such things
#tasha is not okay actually : for when I'm depressed and/or anxious enough to annoy tumblr with it
Arts and Crafts
#mer acle art tag : My art (and my crafts)
#tasha's quote collection : content from my handlettering journal and some digital collages. Paired with the tasha is not okay tag bc the quotes are usually by veerrry mentally well people /sarc
#tasha collages For my pinterest collages and moodboards
#tasha sings: Yeah that’s a tag *looks away*
Fics:
You can find all my fics on Ao3 under Mer_acle, I have some Marvel fics about Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow that are a bit older, and my current wips in the (EPIC / Greek Myths) Athena fandom
#fic: fighting to be loved
Fighting to be Loved is my most well-known fic, it’s about Athena after the events of EPIC the wisdom saga dealing with her injuries and the emotional fallout with the Ithacans and later, her siblings.
Read on Ao3
Read up on some extra lore on canva: fighting-to-be-loved-lore.my.canva.site
Look at the Art on Tumblr because Ao3 is weird
#Silent Wars Modern AU
My Greek Mythology Modern Times AU about Athena, Ares, and Athena's less than great mental health. It has a lot of interesting family dynamics and follows a human version of Athena basically from birth to adulthood.
Read on Ao3
Lore and Art on canva
Connected tags: #sw visuals #sw snippets #sw lore
#fic: Cuckoo’s Nest
Cuckoo’s Nest is a fic about a young Athena after the death of Pallas wrestling with her grief and the loneliness on Olympus. In comes Hera, who is not planning on mothering her husband’s daughter… but the fates have different plans for them.
You should know about me that I am a Mom!Hera truther to the grave.
Read on Ao3
#epic “Slipping through my fingers” AU:
A Greek Mythology AU about Hera and Athena. Currently on hiatus but there’s some content to look through either way :3
#Fly Fast AU:
A modern Greek Mythology adjacent movie concept :3
Masterpost
Original Writing:
Nemori
#nemori / #nemori by meracle
Nemori is my original wip novel about a nefarious secret society and a family trying to escape their clutches. It focuses heavily on relationship dynamics, family both found and biological, power, and sacrifice.
Find the introduction, characters, and the prologue on Ao3
My sideblog for all things Nemori: @nemori-novel
Like I said, you can find me on Ao3 (and on Insta) as Mer_acle and on youtube as mer_acle8101, I have some animatics and film analysis videos on there
And finally, my fandoms (non-exhaustive lol)
EPIC The Musical and Greek Mythology would be the big ones especially at the moment, but I also like (/have watched/read /can be talked to about):
MCU (Infinity Saga mainly), Dracula, 12 Angry Men, Alice in Wonderland, Anne of Green Gables, LotR, The Boys, The Promised Neverland, Kpop Demon Hunters, Six of Crows, Hazbin Hotel, Mean Girls (Musical and otherwise), Heathers (Musical and otherwise), Beetlejuice (Musical and otherwise), AtlA, Encanto (and most of the well-known disney catalogue), The Fall of the House of Usher, Miraculous (okay I have mostly lore on that rather than Watchtime), It (Stephen King), Hamilton, SIX, The Agatha Christie catalogue lol, Sherlock Holmes, Elementary (currently watching S3), Descendants, Stranger Things (mostly S1 tho), Saw, Final Destination (honestly I'm not listing more horror stuff, chances are I know something about it at least, I like watching videos about horror movies), Five Nights at Freddy's (just lore LOL), the Princess Bride, etc etc
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watching trash tv and being like ah yes this toxic relationship is literally my father to my mom, cool cool cool, the entire internet wants this ass cancelled.
@ moots if you don't want to see me ranting about the nodessey anymore you should probably blog the anti-christopher-nolan tag cos I can't guarantee I'll stfu about it soon
I never thought I would say this but I would rather watch Snow White 2025 any day rather than the Nodessey.
Snow White is insultingly bad and incompetently made, but at least it doesn't take a cultural and religious text (fairytales do kinda belong to everyone, unlike myths) and turns it into a disturbingly western take on how war is really bad, especially for the people who return home from it and get to piss off into the sunset INTO THE WEST as society crumbles after them.
next year, nolan's work on a young woman who travels to a child labor clothing factory and then feels real sad about it as she sees it burning from her flight back home as she orders from Shein.
sorry mb that would include a woman we can't have that.
No, I'd rather see fucking thief guy in his stupid fuckass hoodie again because at least it's kinda funny (and yes I am aware Snow White also has the problematic actor issue, but its story itself is just bad rather than problematic and I legit can't think of a worse-made movie that I've seen. My point is I'd rather see a bad but content-wise harmless movie than the insidious propaganda piece that the Nodessey is. It's not even fun to hate-watch this, it's just fucking vile.)
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(this is a fake Tumblr for Pallas from my Silent Wars modern AU, aka a roleplay account. It is time-wise tied to the most recent SW update so she has NOT met Athena yet. I want to keep it canon to SW so while I will take reblogs like 'tell us about your best friend from school' or smt, I won't be reblogging 'hey, did you know your old friend Athena is depressed?' and the like just cos. well no one irl would know that. I might do non-canon tagged replies for that, just so the feed on this blog could reasonably be Pallas' real tumblr account.
Oki, Tasha out :) Also this is how my ooc comments look, they will usually be under the cut. Now giving the floor to Pallas)
Hiiiiii Intro Postttt
I'm your local shark enthusiast lesbian Pallas (she/they), you can call me Las, but not Pal/Pall, please.
some facts about me:
🦈 20yo
🦈 US-based
🦈 just back from work-and-travel in Australia, currently getting some credits to get into Marine Biology next year (wish me luck)
🦈 Lesbian woooh
🦈 playing the C-Flute
🦈 I love marine life, especially sharks, my fave is the Hammerhead (call me basic, I dare you, I have a 50-slide powerpoint why they're the best)
🦈 recently ADHD diagnosed (yes it explains a lot in hindsight)
🦈 love videogames (EPIC The Video Journessey, my beloved), getting into reading more because ADHD meds actually let me concentrate now, so please give book recs if you have any
🦈 fave colors are yellow and teal
**peace signs** If this was not too chaotic for you, welcome to my blog lol
I did a design Mnemosyne, so I wanted to do Lethe as well. They are partnered designs, kinda a yin-yang concept, so I'm going to talk about them both in tandem even though Mnemosyne already had a standalone post.
I reversed their hair and eye colors. Lethe has a warmer color palette than Mnemosyne and Mnemosyne's shapes are sharper and clearer, like an exactly remembered memory. Lethe is softer, rounder, and people generally find it incredibly hard to keep her appearance in mind.
If a memory is given to Mnemosyne's river, it turns to a white river pearl. The titan wears a variety of them on her body like a personal museum. If a memory is given to Lethe, it turns into black sand, but her jewelry is silver. Why would you carry a forgotten memory with you, after all? She would never let the past weigh her down.
And here is a sketch of their domicile in the underworld by the twin rivers. The Lethe's water is completely white and opaque; you can only see the black sand on the shores, while the river Mnemosyne is crystal clear and you can see the river pearls in its bed. They flow together in the heart of the titans' palace in a place where you can remember everything and nothing at the same time.
I haven't done a comprehensive review on the NolanOdyssey (Nodessey for short) yet, but I did just rb something with my thoughts on the ending, and I would like to post that as a standalone, too.
This is me looking at the movie as a LOOSE adaptation a la EPIC even though it didn't advertise itself as such. (So yes, this is me being nice because you told me I would get the The Wizard of Oz and you gave me Wicked and that's just not very cool to do if someone wanted to see The Wizard of Oz like for anything besides the witches)
This is also me slowly realizing that it's worse than I thought.
Spoilers ahead. Also very very long post. Keep reading if you already saw my reblog cos I added like double as much.
Imo the onle thing they could have done with what the movie set up was to kill Odysseus
Let him get physically home, let him reach his goal, but by needing to commit violence in his own home, the violence that the movie wants to condemn so much, even if it's lowk justified in this instance, this last breaking of Zeus's law, needs to end with consequences.
Like this way, the movie communicates "you should feel bad about your war crimes and violence is bad but you will still get a mostly happy ending if you slaughter the right people"
But if the point is that violence destroys civilization, why shouldn't it destroy Odysseus in the end because he went too far down the path? Wouldn't that bring the point home more?
You regretted it and you understood it but it was too late because the world has started to crumble from the violence you started. It's tragic because you understood but you couldn't fix it anymore. You reached a home you already destroyed 10 years ago when you destroyed the Trojans' home and you can't. do. a .thing.
Idk the movie is trying to be really dark and tragic, I think it should have had the balls and committed to it.
And in regard to irl issues I think it's a stronger message to say "you might reach the point of no return way before it looks like it could affect you personally, so fucking watch it" rather than "you should regret the wars you started cos they're bad" no. No regrets ten years later. That's not enough. When it reaches you it's already burned through millions of lives and it's too fucking late. Especially the western world needs to learn that it's not enough to regret it by the point it starts affecting you. We need to understand that everything we do, no matter how far away it seems now, will come back and destroy so much more and then we won't be able to stop it anymore, so DON'T DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
The more I think about it, the more I hate the message actually. This line of thinking is exactly what is eating my country alive right now. Some bitch ass politicians did nothing to improve things for ages because it got them reelected; they refused to actually react when things started getting more difficult, and now everyone's surprised that no one trusts the government and is voting right wing slop and you can't stop it anymore because it's BROKEN. you broke this. Now you can stand there and be sorry but you broke it.
And that is just my country, a lot of countries have this exact issue. And in 5 years some asshole can say they're sorry about how AI took over the world. We can feel regret for the world burning because of climate change. We say sorry for plastic in the oceans and for children who starve and IT DOESN'T MEAN SHIT. Regret doesn't change that you crossed the line.
This exact line of thinking that regret is the first step to betterment is destroying everything right now. Societally, regret is not always the first step to betterment, sometimes it's just the helpless reaction to something you started and can no longer fix.
Odysseus doesn't need to die in the Nodessey as retribution for his actions or as a just punishment for his crimes. This isn't karma. He needs to die because people need to understand that the line MUST NOT BE CROSSED. We can't cross the line and then feel virtuous about feeling sorry, we cannot cross the fucking line. He cannot have a happy ending because that would mean we might get a happy ending if we cross the line. And we won't. We'll watch everything burn, helpless to stop it, so we need to stop it NOW.
Using this message as oscar bait and virtue signaling honestly makes me sick.
you decided to write a man who destroyed an entire civilization and then gave him a happy-ish ending because he understood the error of his ways. And it is not framed as unfair, it is framed as what he deserves. because he felt bad.
The fact that a king is the only person who doesn't have to live the consequences of his own actions as much as everyone else is realistic, but it should be framed as unjust.
The rest of us won't be able to take a ship west with our wives when society is destroyed, we will have to be here and live it, and we need to understand that it'll be too late by then.
and there are plenty of cases where regret is a good first step to change things in the future, ofc, you should always try to make things better. You can't change the past but you can change the future and all that.
Only that with the scenario that the Nodessey creates and that is ever so modern and pressing to current day issues, the moral should be: you fuck up in the past, you will not be able to change the future, so don't fuck up the present as long as you can still make choices.
I'm sorry for sounding doomsdayerish, but like. We're near so many lines irl and some millionaire director whose crew threw plastic props in protected waters teaches us that maybe *we* will be fine if everything burns, but we will feel like really bad about it. We'll sail west toward the setting sun with our wife and honor the dead and not have to live the consequences.
which is what the western world usually does, but shouldn't your moral be that we shouldn't be *allowed* to flee our consequences? That at some point, we will no longer be able to, and we should act before that happens? That this is not a happy or even hopeful ending but pretty much the saddest and most cynical thing that could have happened at the end of this movie?
Instead we get Society will collapse but we're having a serene moment reminiscing about the world that we destroyed but we still have each other so yay.
Okay yeah so i don't actually want to hear that the Nodessey might be a bad adapation but it has good themes. It doesn't. It actually teaches exactly the wrong thing. And no, the ending is not intended to be a commentary on what I just laid out and actually a sad ending, it's not edited that way at all. It's just the cozy comfy from-the-couch moral of war is bad and regret is enough even if you destroyed society with your past actions.
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I understand having to cut things out to save time, but there is no reason why Nolan's "The Odyssey" could not have ended the same as Homer's "The Odyssey". Instead of that ending sequence with Odysseus setting sail to honor the dead and being exiled for breaking Zeus's Law, the wedding bed scene could have been added. And this is a very important scene because it not only shows Penelope's wits, but also that their love is still strong. And for the raging families of the suitors wanting revenge, Athena, the one god we see with a human manifestation, could have intervened like in the source material. Seriously, what was the reason for this change?
Imo the best thing they could have done with what the movie set up was to kill Odysseus
Let him get physically home, let him reach his goal, but by needing to commit violence in his own home, the violence that the movie wants to condemn so much, even if it's lowk justified in this instance, this last breaking of Zeus's law, needs to end with consequences.
Like this way, the movie communicates "you should feel bad about your war crimes and violence is bad but you will still get a mostly happy ending if you slaughter the right people"
But if the point is that violence destroys civilization, why shouldn't it destroy Odysseus in the end because he went too far down the path? Wouldn't that bring the point home more?
You regretted it and you understood it but it was too late because the world has started to crumble from the violence you started. It's tragic because you understood but you couldn't fix it anymore. You reached a home you already destroyed 10 years ago when you destroyed the Trojans' home.
Idk the movie is trying to be really dark and tragic, I think it should have had the balls and committed to it.
And in regard to irl issues I think it's a stronger message to say "you might reach the point of no return way before it looks like it could affect you personally, so fucking watch it" rather than "you should regret the wars you started cos they're bad" no. No regrets ten years later. That's not enough. When it reaches you it's already burned through millions of lives and it's too fucking late. The western world needs to learn that it's not enough to regret it by the point it starts affecting you. We need to understand that everything we do, no matter how far away it seems now, will come back and destroy so much more and then we won't be able to stop it anymore, so DON'T DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I hate when i complain to someone about being a difficult child because I hate it i really do but idrk how to fix it and they just say ‘you’re not difficult’ BECAUSE I AM I KNOW I AM I CRY ABOUT SCHOOL AND ABOUT WASHING MY HAIR AND EASY CHILDREN DONT DO THAT EASY CHILDREN ARE WELL BEHAVED AND MANAGABLE AND ARE LOVED BY THEIR PARENTS BECAUSE OF IT just because i dont look difficult online doesnt mean im not irl
in my experience, the "easy children" who never complain usually explode in adulthood, sooner or later, when everyone expects them to be well adjusted and responsible of providing for themselves, after a lifetime of not giving problems (by bottling the fuck up)
That's not pretty, trust me
I know it sucks, but air your grievances, work through your trauma as much as you can, cry all you want while you're still under the protection of being a child. Don't bottle it up, you don't want it to fuck up your early adult life. Society gives difficult children way more acceptance than it gives difficult adults. I know you don't have much agency rn, I know it sucks, but please, please, don't force yourself to be a golden child. As long as you don't hurt yourself or others, own that difficult kid inside you. Transform them into a serene kid, don't replace them with one
And remember, most teenagers are "difficult", because adolescence is a difficult stage. Your not bad or unlovable because of it
And for the record, since I think I did tell you you're not difficult, it was meant moreso in a "yes, people view this as difficult but people need to chill out and just be normal about humans having different needs."
Because yes, having issues with things other people "just do" sucks. For you. You are struggling with this more than anyone else, and it's wrong for anyone to act like they're the most inconvenienced by this.
Basically you *have* it way more difficult than you *make* things difficult for anyone else. And if someone is angry about your needs, that is like seeing someone with a broken leg and going aw man they're being so difficult I wanted to go to a concert with them and now they can't go. But like bro their leg is broken this is literally not about you, they're in pain.
So what I and I'm sure others who tell you this mean is that you are not difficult as a character trait. Also "being difficult" implies doing it on purpose, but that's not what you're doing, you literally just have different needs than other people.
And finally, people who can only love "easy" children should never ever have kids and it is never the child's responsibility to change themselves to be loved. (And if you can only love an easy child you actually don't love that child either. You just love the idea of having a convenient little mini-you rather than yk the cool but messy concept of helping a little human become their best self which is what parenthood should be).
Tldr: having difficult needs dont make you difficult to be loved and if anyone treats it as such, especially parents, they're the fucking problem.
(Yes parents are also allowed to be overwhelmed and do things wrong sometimes but the underlying love and acceptance needs to be unconditional and clearly shown)
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vent under the cut, tw disordered eating /probably ED idfk
this bullshit is so insidious fr. i haven't really been diagnosed with an ED (or well I have but it was eating disorder not otherwise specified so like, barely, and they cut it from my hospital discharge paper the second time, so technically not anymore)
I started having issues with my weight when I was 13 or 14; I was stressed about it but as far as I remember I didn't purposefully restrict much, I just stressed about it.
Then I got sick, nothing serious in hindsight but it put my mind so out whack that I just became terrified of ever going through that again. Emetophobia enters the chat and so does nausea (thanks). Like constantly. Every single day, from getting up till going to bed. Every meal was war, both with myself and with my parents because my father was useless and my mom was overwhelmed and worried so she also snapped at me sometimes.
They did put me (and my sister who was experiencing similarish issues at the time because we'd both been sick that time) through the full doctor odyssey trying to figure out what was wrong until it was clear there was nothing wrong physically, and our GP was like okay, it's psychosomatic, that means the cause is psychological but the physical symptoms are NOT made up, they're real.
Which you would think would prompt my parents to get both my sister and me into therapy, but there was an important difference. My sister refused to go to school. She was much younger and she would refuse to go in and cry every day, and it was an obvious and massive problem. I on the other hand was the older one, and the easy one. I followed my parents' rules just because they were rules. It would have never crossed my mind to refuse to go to school or make a fuss. And I went and I tried and I ate as much as I could even though it was like trying to get down sawdust three times a day.
And they put my sister in therapy and thought I was managing.
my weight stayed relatively low for obvious reasons, never dangerous but enough so I can see the physical consequences in hindsight. There was a reason why I didn't manage the endurance run in grade 10.
I did my best, and I graduated, and I got a little better with food sometimes and I still hated how my body felt and how much I could feel my ribs and how I couldn't lie on my back because I could feel the hollowness of it, and I thought to myself, see, younger you who wanted to lose weight was an idiot, this feels awful.
I don't actually remember whether it got better and I ruined it somewhere in between tbh
During my first semesters of college I remember sitting in zoom lectures for hours just getting through breakfast one fucking bite at a time so my mom wouldn't get worried or mad at me. I can't eat porridge anymore because that's what I would eat back then, small bowl, two hours until i could get it all down, sometimes crying while I did. I was already depressed at that time, I just didn't know it yet.
It was so annoying because I wanted to eat normally and I couldn't, and I couldn't get my weight up by much even though I tried.
They put that ED diagnosis on my papers after my first hospital stay cos of depression, and when I came in the second time, eating-wise I was in an okay phase, but they obviously flagged it and made a massive thing out of it and I had to make an agreement that I would keep my weight where it was and not let it get any lower, otherwise it'd be a therapy item. Which I didn't want because I had like one therapy session a week and about a billion pressing issues, and what was new about the eating one anyways, it had been six years at that point.
And it actually did get a lot better, I stopped feeling nauseous all the time, just when it was early in the day or when I was stressed, and I ate normally pretty much, until that little demon in my head came back and started pointing out how I had gained weight and that it felt wrong and none of this excess of *me* should be there.
Which makes sense considering that I didn't know myself with an adult healthy weight. I still don't actually know how my body is meant to look and feel, I just know that I can't stand it. I comforted myself with the thought of just skipping meals during my planned internship, and it'd go down then. Which it didn't, probably because I snacked a lot out of boredom even though I didn't technically eat lunch. I started wearing shapewear because that kept the voice at bay more, cos I didn't have to look at myself that much, and it felt better.
The drawback being, of course, that I was now dependent on feeling my body with some mild compression to not want to crawl out of it all the time.
And that it stopped being enough sometime and now it feels like too much even with shapewear on. And I know very well that no one else sees me and thinks 'too much'. I don't even mind how it looks when I'm wearing clothes.
Not that I can restrict food much because my mom remembers and she watches me and when I don't eat enough, she lectures me, so I skip meals when I'm not home because of some twisted sense of accomplishment.
I don't know what my weight is, I'm terrified of seeing a number atp so I can't check. I know I don't feel it as much as I used to when I was pretty low in the past so I think I'm fine, but I also can't have really bad symptoms right now because I need to finish my thesis, and I'm scared because I didn't eat on Tuesday, and normally that's not an issue, but I've been feeling nauseous since and I can't eat dinner right now because I feel too sick and I think I put myself back in the spot where it's not my choice anymore but the curse that I just need to manage somehow
I'm scared. I don't want my mom to lecture me about losing weight. I don't want her to look at me with that desperate disappointed look because my plate's still full. But I also don't want anything else that'd be easier to eat, because I'm stressed and nauseous and my mind can't figure out what it wants
