Alive

There is only chicago

common misconception, there are actually zero chicagos because the only one fucking explode. sorry

i lowkey ship tumblr ♠ twitter now

is that a gun in your pocket or did your dick just shoot me 12 times in the chest

is that a knife in your pocket or did your dick just fucking bite me

you know you gotta go to bed when you start seeing the skull

John, after letting his polycule destroy the galaxy for 10k years: you know what maybe it's unethical to decide who I promote based on who's in the polycule. Time to message some rich people's kids on linkedin

I am guessing this one is NOT about Dracula

this is my favorite reply to this post

I'm guessing this one is also NOT about The Magnus archives 2

I'm guessing it's probably not Homestuck either.

Garfield???

TWITTER???

John, after letting his polycule destroy the galaxy for 10k years: you know what maybe it's unethical to decide who I promote based on who's in the polycule. Time to message some rich people's kids on linkedin

I am guessing this one is NOT about Dracula

this is my favorite reply to this post

I'm guessing this one is also NOT about The Magnus archives 2

I'm guessing it's probably not Homestuck either.

Garfield???

TWITTER????????

Everything is about gay sex especially if it isn't about gay sex because if it isn't about gay sex its about the absence of gay sex and the absence of something is only the shadow of its presence. So.

Um, waiter? I’m bisexual today. Get me something bisexuals would eat.

oh fuck yum the FN P90

Cracks open this bad boy and sucks out the meat like a snow crab

Hold on, I gotta look something up.

Yeah, this is funny.

sorry did you have to google crabs

fighting friday again fellas go out there and hit people with metal pipes

high school sucks man. one time these kids shoved me in a submarine and welded it shut and then lowered me into an ocean of blood and it was this whole thing.

dont you dare call me a fucking fake gamer i think about dick every moment of my life.

What does that have to do with gaming ?

fake gamer spotted. take the shot.