•blueberry•

no, mother... you should have read my supposed "school field trip" permission slip closer.... i foresaw your betrayal a mile away.... im afraid, mother, it is you who has been sold to one direction

The wizard cafe said my punchcard is from an alternate reality, so they won’t honor the punches on the card. Total bullshit.

dude stop trying to garner context and character traits from the objects in my room i know youre doing it. stop clicking on shit im not gonna tell you about - oh that picture is of me and my dad. yeah he's not really in my life anymore i just keep it around cause im sentimental- DUDE

Did you know that um…. (remembers that words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm) …………

i love being sober and talking to drunk people at parties cause i asked a guy “if you were a wizard what kind of spells would you cast” and i know he wasnt lying when he said “summon creatures”

age regressed 2 weeks so I can fail my finals again

I'm very tired and briefly considered the possibility that British people enjoy a weird delicacy called "mozzarella lemonade"

get a load of this guy who's never had mozzarella lemonade

In my twisted mind mozzarella lemonade looks like boba tea but with mini mozzarella balls instead of tapioca pearls. Btw.