does anyone want to spend eight hours in my room with me we can get married afterwards

does anyone want to listen to my favorite albums and show me their favorite albums and dance and write poetry in my notebooks and dress up and play chess with me and do my nails and scream and watch a movie and lay on top of me and make a blood pact and be girl best friends

i hate to say this but i just had the best meal of my life and it was ceviche at a mexican restaurant called “mas margaritas” in cedar rapids, iowa

literally after every single bite i was internally like “holy SHIT this is divine” but i had to keep it inside bc i would lose all credibility with my family if i let them know this ceviche from mas margaritas (restaurant in cedar rapids, IA) was better than any mexican cuisine i’ve ever had in LA or uh. mexico. and you know when people say that a food is better than sex. it was like that but it was like when i was in middle school and repressing my sexuality and had to pretend i wasn’t turned on when my friends played gay chicken at sleepovers and slowly moved their hands up my thigh asking “are you scared? are you scared?” get this to 10k and i’ll post it on yelp

year ends in less than two days does anyone wanna admit that they're in love with me

merry christmas. what if it was you

What if there was a immature young man who worked as a cook in a fast food restaurant and could not get a driver’s license despite his best efforts? Now imagine he is a sponge.

do NOT feel bad abt scarfing down a tub of raspberries. there is NO reason at all to ration them like other delicious treats bc they WILL mold as soon as theyre out of your line of sight

have you eaten? (i love you). did you get enough sleep last night? (i love you). how do you feel today? (i love you). did you have a nice day? (i love you). will you come on a walk with me? (i love you). here's some fruit I cut up for you. (i love you) (i love you) (i love you).

yeah. thats not very mouse wearing a sweater and holding a cup of tea behavior. sorry.

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

On this day one year ago, I was fired from Crumbl Cookies because my grandfather suddenly died and I cried when I found out and was on the clock. They make you sign a waiver to not talk about the recipes that lasts one year after your termination. Well guess what babes. That day, is today. RIP Nanu, you’ve been missed. But for anyone who likes the Chocolate Chip Cookies or the Iced Sugar Cookies, check out the recipes in the links. Feel free to ask about other recipes, it’s been a year but some things are just reskinned versions of these lol. Good Luck and Happy Baking.

man... we seriously need to bring back "don't feed the trolls" into the collective internet lexicon. it's some extremely sage advice that was once commonplace on forums a decade back. obviously it takes some level of social awareness that not everyone is gonna have (some off you guys actually touch grass on the regular, good for you! /gen), but like. people troll on here so much. and they really do count on you screenshotting them, quote retweeting, etc. to spread their trolling further than it would get otherwise. before you make that snarky post, ask yourself, is this bait? if there's a chance it is, don't take the bait- don't feed the trolls.

guy who goes down on you but he’s kicking his feet and giggling