What am I doing? It is a mystery.

The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.

The face of a mother who knows exactly what is going on behind her

immortality as theft (you have to steal life from something else) immortality as parasitism (there is something else inside You that is keeping you alive and you become less of yourself more and more the longer it stays in you) immortality as violence (everything is trying to kill you because everything is supposed to die and the universe will always try to find a way to right the wrong that is You) you understand

now that we have successfully nitpicked the difference between poisonous and venomous it is time we nitpicked the difference between parasite and parasitoid

yes

that being said landlords are parasitoids

Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

im going to explode in the kiln

As a kid, I was really upset that Bill Watterson wouldn't license Calvin & Hobbes so I could have plushies or so there would be a Saturday morning cartoon. Now, I realize his resistance is the reason we don't have a Calvin & Hobbes DreamWorks movie starring Chris Pratt.

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

of course, the best part of any character's corruption arc is their cool new outfit

I'm waiting for him to explain to me how his newfound love of drag allowed him to prove I killed my business partner

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal