chaotic good

I want u. I want u. I want u.

I want to cuddle and kiss and fuck and bring u water. I wanna hold hands even tho I don't like holding hands. I wanna be together. I don't wanna be alone. I'd rather be with u.

I'm hoping we'll be like magnets that need to be pulled apart only to come back together stronger. More attraction. I'm hoping I can be transformed. Into someone more of who I want to be. I hoping we can still be friends or more or different. I just want you in my life. You're family to me.

Part of me wants to leave for a month or so just to see if that would make things different. I just wanna be able to say, hey this doesn't feel good for me. And trust that I'll be listened to. And that's my problem, i don't trust.