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probably tomorrow i'm gonna somehow be more organized and disciplined than i ever have been in my whole life so i'm fine probably

one direction was gonna eat that girl. they bought her for food

"I asked chatgpt" well I asked the walrus and he said I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together

Guy who is touch starved but emotionally repressed goading you into punching him for completely normal reasons

drinking water when I have a headache should give instant relief. it should go away. what's even the point of drinking water if it can't do that

can now report that harvesting from the garden by flashlight does feel a lot like a first person pov veggie-based horror video game

because it wasn't that long ago, that i was in a little Lamborghini, sleeping on bookshelves in the hollywood hills, with only 47 billion dollars in my bank account. with only 47 Lamborghinis in my Lamborghini account. with only 47 hills in my hollywood account. with only 47 tedx talks where i talk about warren buffet in my tedx talks where i talk about warren buffet account. but you know what? something happened that changed my life. i bumped into a lamborghini, then another lamborghini, a few more lamborghinis i found 5 lamborghinis.

invite me to your house and let me look at all your trinkets and collections. please

that pistachio completely sealed in its shell is scared and alone, like a miner trapped by rubble. you need to free it by any means necessary. get the gun from your dad's cabinet