i'm lowkey a mess rn (finals, jury duty, a fucked sleep schedule, and a 9 hour shift) but i can't stop thinking about gay bdubs, realizing 'oh fuck i'm fucking gay (for etho), i have a wife and kids' and deciding to push his sexuality to the deepest depths of his mind and opt to just live out his repressed fantasies in minecraft and it's the most alive he's ever felt. imagine how crazy that would feel. like it could all come crumbling down around him if he says the wrong thing. but it hasn't yet so he keeps pushing it, to see what he can get away with. and it's so exciting. flirting with etho makes him feel young again in a way he's never felt with his wife. he keeps asking himself 'am i a bad person?' but he doesn't seem to care about the answer. atleast not enough to stop, but enough to feel like a creep.
