'Bout Time I Made a Marvel Blog

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Summary: Steve pops a boner (no smut, just awkwardness).

Everything that could go wrong on this mission, had. The intel was so bad, it’d have been kinder to send you in blind. You looked over at Steve and noticed even he was starting to look tired. As if feeling your eyes on him, he faced you with a reassuring smile, not seeing the missile that was being aimed at him. 

“STEVE!” You bolted toward him, reaching him just in time for the thing to miss you both and hit the wall behind you. You tackled him, and seeing pieces of the building about to fall on both of you, he yelled for you to curl up and covered as much of you as he could with his shield. 

“Are you ok?” he asked when the dust settled. 

“I think so. What about you?” You had a little room under the rubble to lift your head enough to see him. 

“Yeah, thanks to you,” he smiled gratefully. 

“But no thanks to me, we’re trapped now.” You wiggled your body, trying to feel out how much room you had. You didn’t hear Steve’s breath catch. “Maybe I should try to get up.” 

I'm here to talk about how the average man's metabolism affects sperm production, which is four times higher than normal. I feel like it would be a headcanon that Steve would have hyperespermia, his load would be much higher (the average is 100 million sperm).

There would also be a hormonal impact: with such a high metabolism, the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis could be altered, increasing testosterone. Now, taking all this into account, having sex with Steve would leave you satisfied, and most likely, with his stamina and slightly elevated hormones, he would want more than one round.

[hcs under the cut]

aside from the obvious, like:

• his strong sense of right or wrong (literally his entire character arc)

• his want for clarity and straightforwardness being seen as him being "uptight"

i like to look at the less obvious as well: i nearly see his "being a man out of his time" as a metaphor for his autism: which is often described as feeling like everybody in the world knows how it works except for you.

i could write PARAGRAPHS on this

now for the more stupid parts of this headcanon:

• everybody is stressing over the accords and steve is the ONLY ONE that actually wants to read them???

• every single line he delivers being out of place to the rest of the characters "I do!! I understood that reference :3"

• this man is awkward as hell... the entire carride with peggy, his "double date" with bucky, his first interaction w phil coulson.......

Aww, thank you so much, I'm so glad you do!! I'll absolutely get working on that! Thank you for requesting 💜

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When he gets in a playful mood: Loki Laufeyson headcanons

Some silly headcanons of Loki's playful moods (based around this oneshot here!<3)

TW: none

Fluff ☁️

Requested !

I'm currently taking requests!♡

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As I said before, Loki tends to get these random outbursts of energy surprisingly often. No one really knows why. Does he have ADHD? Perhaps he's secretly a cat disguised as a god who needs to get his zoomies out? Or maybe he merely just loves being a terror? Who knows. Regardless, it's a habit (if you could call it that) that he just never grew out of.

That's right, it's been happening ever since he was a little child. Thor and Frigga can attest to that.

You'll almost always be able to tell when that trouble-making itch is creeping up on him. That switch between calm and chaos will flip, and suddenly, he seems... different. Maybe a little more intense. Maybe he'll speak a little faster. Maybe he'll just stare at you with that familiar smirk on his face that always comes with these moods.

It will start off small and then-- BAM! He's jumping you from behind and pinning you down to the floor. Why? Cause he can.

Lowkey, terrifying chases. It's all playful, but it may not feel like it when you've suddenly got a literal god sprinting after you, making all kinds of threats that would make you believe he either wants to kill you or... do something else...

No worries, though. When he does catch you (because he absolutely will), you'll get attacked with nothing more than kisses.

Honestly, it can all be a bit overwhelming, especially for the first few times you experience this with him. It can be overstimulating, even a little scary. But if he ever notices that he's gone too far, he'll stop and apologize for letting himself get carried away. He would never mean to hurt you.

Play fighting ALL the way. He loves just grabbing you and roughing you up. You give him major cuteness aggression when he's in such a state.

Imagine him calmly excusing himself from a serious conversation, just to run off and find you, wherever you are, hurl you over his shoulder, and make off like a thief.

His highly energized moods also include causing trouble for you and whoever else is within range at the moment, so don't think it's all just conveniently cute things he does. We're talking turning your plate of food into a plate of larvae and maggots. Or cutting your hair terribly. Or turning into a snake and... okay, he only does that to Thor, but you get my point.

Want a word of advice? DO NOT give him any kind of food that has dyes in it. It makes it worse. His system isn't used to such ingredients, mostly because they aren't really a thing in Asgard, so whatever you do, don't give him anything, especially candy, that has food colorings in it.

One of his previous outbursts may or may not have started an intergalactic war between two other planets because he simply wanted to see what would happen if he pitted them against each other.

War. That's what happens, Loki. War.

Him in the midst of his zoomies or whatever tf is wrong with him ⇩

Depending on how energized he gets, when it starts to ware off, he actually might get a bit tired. All that terrorizing and instigating can be exhausting.

Whether if he's already with you or if he has to come find you, he'll likely just silently wrap his arms around you from behind and bury his face into your neck until you give in and cuddle with him.

Winds down by picking up a book he likely discarded earlier and holds you close to his side while he reads, like nothing ever happened.

Being active around the house

Playing with AJ and Cass

Helping Sarah with putting stuff away

Assisting when the boat is out on the water

Being the Wilsons' messenger falcon between the house and the dock

Bucky finding Redwing at his window one day in Brooklyn because Sam wanted to tell him something but his phone was dead

Sam didn't tell Redwing to go, he just heard the message, knew Sam wanted to get the message to Bucky, and Sam turned around and Redwing was gone

But let him lie awake at night staring at the ceiling, wondering what Hydra is doing to Bucky right now, a pit forming in his gut because he knows just how powerless he is to stop it.

Let Howard Stark invite him over to hold baby Tony for the first time. Let him hold that peaceful little bundle, and let him count down the days. Every breath, milestone, birthday, until that baby inevitably sacrifices himself.

Let him have some days where he can't even look his own wife and children in the face. Where he feels like a bird smashing around in his cage, wanting to claw out of his own skin because that itch to fight is still there. Primal. The kid from Brooklyn he took out back and killed is haunting him as a ghost and won't lay to rest.

Let him be a firefighter, his only relief. He needs to throw himself straight into the flames, he's gasping for air but its the only time since he came back he can truly breathe because he actually feels like himself again. Not someone's husband or father, but Steve Rogers. Fighter for the little guy.

He’s either punishing himself for his perceived failures or he made some sort of deal that saved people he loved or something because just choosing that woman and that life is absurd.

So absolutely if he did it he chose it out of grief or necessity and he never has a moments peace and he slowly dies inside and becomes bitter and twisted or just sinks himself. He can’t love Peggy or his kids in any real way so he fucks the kids up too (sorry but Peggy was already super fucked up) and his whole life is horrible and not worth even the most bravest of his sacrifices previously.

This is a Steve that doesn’t and never will exist to me except as some ridiculous concept people with very little knowledge about being content and happy in life and what that means thinks a happy life is.

A happy life is not a wife and children if you have to give up everything you stand for and believe to have it. It’s not an ideal life for someone who loved others more than anyone he might legally have been able to marry in the 50’s so she will do even though he barely knew her and what he did find out about her in the future would make him actually and actively shun her.

I could keep going because my brain has been leaking all this shit all these years. One day in the future some version of Marvel will apologise and say yeah that was stupid - sorry I was just a kid then but I own marvel now and I’m gonna try and fix this shit ….

I hope I’m alive for it or else at least I will have people to haunt if I do go before this travesty is addressed.

So I read this really awesome How To Hell’s Kitchen (for Daredevil writers) the other day, and I thought, goddamn, what a great idea, especially when I’ve been howling at the cruel sky for absolute ages in hopes of getting more accurately written Captain America fic!

So, like the post I linked to, I’ll start with the basics.  I have a few posts planned in the theme of How To Brooklyn for Cap Writers, and I’ll preface with the following:

I like context!  You like context too, right?  So these will be a series of posts on various topics, centered around living in New York City during the 1930s/1940s, and present day (for modern AU or post Avengers fics).  They’ll be broad in nature, because I’m writing them explicitly to give people who live elsewhere a better understanding of what it’s like to live here, and how to portray that in their stories.

As a caveat to that mission statement, let me add that there is no be-all-end-all of New York experiences.  The place is just too big and fast moving and varied for anyone not to sound like a total asshole in saying that there is, and I try to avoid sounding like an asshole if at all possible.  So this is not meant to represent all of New York, just a subsection of it that may be useful to this particular fandom.

I am more than happy to take requests!  If you would like more detail about anything, have any questions about tropes you’ve seen, logistics issues for a fic you’re writing that you haven’t been able to solve, or are just confused as to why New York seems so damn complicated, my ask box is open.  Otherwise here I am, shouting into the void, about whatever the hell I feel like writing about.

So, let’s start with:

The Basics of New York City, or What the Hell are Boroughs, Anyway?

A GLIMPSE OF BUCKY BARNES’s NEW APARTMENT IN WASHINGTON DC.

“Wild Heart, Second Life”

Request by: @kpopgirlbtssvt

Kraven ‘Sergei’ Kravinoff x Female Reader

Warnings/Genre: Action • Hurt/Comfort • Superpower Origin • Romance

Summary: You’re a waitress at Dmitri Kravinoff’s restaurant, where his intense brother Sergei keeps returning to your section. When a mob attack leaves you dying, he uses Calypso’s rare potion to save you—changing your life forever.

You noticed him the first time because he didn’t belong there.

Not in the polished marble restaurant with gold lighting and men in expensive suits pretending they weren’t criminals.

He sat straight-backed, broad-shouldered, silent.

Watching everything.

When you approached the table, notepad in hand, he looked up at you like you were something unexpected.

Not prey.

Not a threat.

Just… you.

“Hi,” you said, giving your usual warm smile. “Can I get you something to drink?”

His voice was deep, rough like gravel and winter air.

“Water is fine.”

You nodded, scribbling it down. “You got it.”

When you came back, he surprised you.

“Do you like working here?”

You blinked. No one ever asked that. “It pays the bills.”

He studied you a second longer. “You should work somewhere safer.”

You laughed lightly. “Bit late for that advice, isn’t it?”

The corner of his mouth twitched.

That was the first time you saw him almost smile.

⸻

After that, Sergei kept coming back.

Always alone.

Always in your section.

He never flirted. Never crossed a line. Just asked small, careful questions.

Did you grow up in the city?

Did you have family nearby?

Did you ever want to travel?

You started bringing him extra bread without charging.

He started leaving tips that were way too big.

One night, you finally asked, “So… what do you actually do?”

His eyes held yours. Calm. Honest.

“I hunt.”

You waited for more.

That was all he gave.

Somehow… it felt like enough.

⸻

Dmitri’s birthday party was chaos from the start.

Private room. Loud laughter. Too many armed men pretending they weren’t armed.

You were just trying to refill champagne when the windows exploded.

Gunfire ripped through the restaurant.

People screamed.

You dropped behind the bar as bullets tore through glass and wood. Your ears rang. Your hands shook.

You saw Sergei move.

Not run.

Move toward the danger.

A predator unleashed.

Then—

Pain.

Hot. Blinding. Spreading through your side.

You looked down.

Blood.

So much blood.

Your knees hit the floor.

The world tilted.

Someone shouted your name, but it sounded far away.

Then strong arms caught you before you hit the ground.

Sergei.

His face was tight with something you’d never seen before.

Fear.

“Stay with me,” he growled, pressing his hand over the wound. “Stay.”

“I think…” You tried to laugh, but it came out wet. “You were right. Not very safe.”

His jaw clenched.

From inside his jacket, he pulled a small vial filled with dark, shimmering liquid.

Calypso’s voice echoed in his memory: Only in greatest need. It will not return them the same.

He didn’t hesitate.

He tipped it to your lips.

“Drink.”

You barely swallowed before everything went black.

⸻

Cold air.

Pine.

Firewood.

You woke with a sharp inhale, bolting upright.

You weren’t in a hospital.

You were in a cabin.

Blankets wrapped around you. A fire crackled nearby. Snow drifted past the window.

Your side—

You touched it.

No wound.

No scar.

“What…?”

“You were dying.”

Sergei sat in a chair across the room, watching you like he had been there the entire time.

Which… he probably had.

“You brought me here?” you asked.

“Yes.”

“Did you… kidnap me?”

A pause.

“…Technically.”

You stared at him.

Then at the perfectly healed skin on your side.

“Okay we’ll circle back to that— WHY AM I NOT DEAD?”

He stood and came closer, slow, careful.

“I gave you something powerful. Ancient. It saved you.”

You swung your legs off the bed—and accidentally bent the metal bedframe with your grip.

You froze.

“So that’s new.”

⸻

The changes came fast.

Your senses sharpened. You could hear deer moving miles away. You could smell snow before it fell.

You were stronger. Faster. Harder to hurt.

The first time you panicked and punched a tree in frustration, it cracked.

“I broke nature,” you whispered.

Sergei looked almost proud. “You will learn control.”

And he helped you.

Every day.

Teaching you how to move through the forest quietly. How to focus your senses. How to breathe through the overload.

When you got overwhelmed, he didn’t tease.

He grounded you.

A hand on your back. A low voice. “Focus on my breathing. Not the world.”

At night, you sat by the fire together.

“You didn’t have to save me,” you said softly once.

“Yes,” he replied. “I did.”

“Why?”

He looked at you like the answer was obvious.

“Because you matter to me.”

Your heart stumbled.

“You barely knew me.”

“I knew enough.”

⸻

You never really left the cabin.

Not because he forced you.

Because when you tried going back to the city, the noise hurt. The smells overwhelmed you. The crowds made your instincts scream.

The forest felt right now.

And so did he.

One evening, as snow fell quietly outside, you handed him a mug of tea.

“So… what are we?” you asked.

He frowned slightly. “We are sitting.”

You laughed. “No, I mean— us.”

Understanding dawned slowly.

His voice was quieter than usual. “I do not know how to be… normal.”

“Good,” you said, stepping closer. “I’m not exactly normal anymore either.”

You took his hand.

He went very still.

“You saved my life,” you said. “You helped me through the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You squeezed his fingers.

“I like you, Sergei. A lot.”

His thumb brushed your knuckles, almost hesitant.

“I have hunted monsters,” he murmured. “But with you… I want peace.”

Your smile softened. “That’s basically a love confession in Kraven language, huh?”

“…Yes.”

You kissed him.

Slow. Warm. Real.

And for the first time since the gunfire, the blood, the fear—

Your new heart didn’t feel like a curse.

You: no, I just see you

Loki: liar.

You: but did I lie? You’re the god, you tell me wether I lied or not

Loki: you didn’t lie, I just can’t accept your words as truth just yet.

You: keyword being yet. So I’ll keep saying so until you do.

Okay, I know it’s really unlikely and unrealistic and what not but I don’t care

Just imagine: The Howling Commandos alive in modern times. Not through science or serums or cryofreeze, those stubborn assholes just won’t die. They are mildly crotchety old men who wave canes at family reunions and play bingo on weekends and still try to be involved with espionage whenever possible because their retirement home is just so BORING. (Whenever possible is limited to when Gabe and Peggy’s grandson Antoine and their niece Sharon bring them little pieces of ‘classified’ information and asking for advice, and it’s a far cry from their commando days but it’s something so they’ll take it. One more game of scrabble and someone is getting punched) (yes they are all in the same retirement home. Practically attached at the hips they are, especially now that most of the families have spread and moved onto their own lives.)

Then one day Sharon comes in, jittery and more excited than they’ve ever seen her and tells them that They. Found. Cap! Alive! That night the nurses find out that 90 year olds can still be as rowdy as twenty year olds if they are excited enough.

Golden haired fucker doesn’t visit them till after aliens invade New York and for that Dernier repeatedly sacks him upside the head with his cane when he does finally come. (They’d never missed being in the action so much as when they had to watch Cap on the tv, fighting fucking aliens without them to watch his six. And maybe they are a little jealous of these Avengers, but sue them, he was their Captain first.)

All is well, though the rest home gets a few interesting stories because even now they can convince Steve to do some ridiculous shit if they push hard enough. It’s entirely worth the property damage to see him grinning like he hasn’t since before Sarge fell. (And that’s still a gaping wound in all of them, especially now when they are almost all together again. But it’ll never be all of them because Bucky is never coming back)

Then DC happens and they see SHIELD fall on the news (HYDRA, fucking HYDRA the whole damn time and Gabe grips his chair so hard his knuckles turn white because where are Antione and Sharon, are they okay?) and most importantly they see a dead man trying to kill Steve and what the fucking FUCK!?

SARGE!?

WHAT THE HELL SARGE!?

Then hydra’s Intel hits the web and well.

Now it’s war. (It was before, but y'know. Fucking personal now, that’s their Sarge)

So they pour over every piece of Intel they can get their hands on (which is everything the black widow put out their because they may be old but they are the god damn Howling Commandos and their captain and their Sargent need them) and they pull up bases for Cap to tear apart. On her good days Peggy is on the phone helping them and it’s almost like old days and it’s the most purposeful they’ve felt in years

But their most important mission is finding Bucky and bringing him home. And like hell they are sitting this one out. Fuck that, that’s their boy out there somewhere. So they get their leads, they fear up as best they can and they set out. It really does feel like they old days then. Dugan still wears that damn hat and he still has that fucking mustauche. Monty still wears his beret and Dernier still shouldn’t be allowed near explosives (or maybe he should, if you ask Dugan his opinion.) and speaks mostly in French so he and Gabe can have private conversations just to annoy the others. Peggy makes them promise to bring him to visit her when they find him and sends along a letter addressed to Sargent Barnes of the Howling Commandos.

It takes a while, and Steve rants at them to get back to the home before something happens nearly every day on the phone but sorry cap technically we don’t need to take orders anymore, but finally they find him in some old safe house that really is a house in Europe.

Bucky looks out his window one day and see a group of old men standing on the walk staring at him and just feels confusion and familiarity and then - are those the men from the museum? Yes, yes they are! Holy shit it’s the fucking commandos! How are they here, they are ancient, what the fuck guys!?

He sneaks out the back and the chase begins.

They follow him across Europe yelling at him to come home every time they get close no matter who is around (to damn old for this shit, get your punk ass home you little fuck, don’t give a damn who can hear us) and Dernier keeps lecturing him in French. They nearly choke on their coffee the first time he responds in perfect French, something snarky and oh so Bucky and the fucker takes that opportunity to disappear into the crowd. Asshole.

There are close calls and sarcasm and somewhere along the line Morita shanks somebody and Gabe beans a hydra agent over the head with an IV pole and Dugan knocks another one out with his walker.

WW2 hero, super-assassin, the Winter Soldier, White Wolf, ptsd survivor & CAT’S DAD James Bucky Barnes

-Edit-

Great this went viral so there’s now thousands of people who know Phoebe can’t tell left and right apart 😭😭

Thank you @bagellord07 for letting me know before things get any more awkward 💕

& Here’s the tweaked version!