You don’t understand what I’m saying, right? We can’t talk to each other anymore.
Silent (2022) dir. Kazama Hiroki.
noise dept.

roma★

JBB: An Artblog!
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You don’t understand what I’m saying, right? We can’t talk to each other anymore.
Silent (2022) dir. Kazama Hiroki.

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SEE YOU IN MY 19TH LIFE (2023)
Still, in a slightly uncanny way, love is passed on.
face soaked in blood after winning a war (eldest daughter moving out of the house)
It rly hurt as an eldest daughter realizing at an extremely young age that ur parents can’t rly be parents, and feeling like it’s ur duty to care for ur siblings so that they never feel as shitty as u felt and never get as damaged as u did. it’s rly hard when all u wanna do is just leave and start a whole new life just for urself, but u feel like u can’t just leave ur siblings in the hands of ppl who won’t know how to handle them properly. u feel like u can’t leave those same ppl to their own devices either, bc u realized how hurt and vulnerable they rly are, how they’re just like kids and need someone to talk to(especially ur mother), how they are failed. even if they treated u like shit, u as an eldest daughter took the time to see where all their anger came from, even if they never did the same to understand u as u did for them. as an eldest daughter u feel u owe them the happiness that u think they got depraved of bc of u, even if they never showed u an ounce of that compassion like u do them. so then u realize u will probably always be split between this crushing feeling of duty as an eldest sister/daughter, and wanting to be ur own free person, the way u never got to be. it’s realizing ur too scared to leave, bc u don’t know if u could handle the guilt, the pain of feeling like ur selfish, like u betrayed the ppl who need u most, like u failed at ur job of being there for them, like u broke the family bc u had the burden of holding it together. it sucks when no one ever acknowledges the amount of mental energy, how much of urself u lose, how much pain and damage u sustain of being the one thing holding the family together, the only person who even bothers to be there for everyone, even if ur the one who got the most mistreatment and got failed over and over again. how much pure strength it takes, when ur not even there for urself, when u loathe urself to no end, when ur constantly on the edge of just giving up, when ur barely functioning to keep urself together.
To all eldest daughters and sisters: I see you. I see you, and I know how fucking hard it is. You were always doing an amazing job, even if this job wasn’t yours to do. I’m sorry u got failed. I’m sorry u feel invisible and like u have to be perfect just to get crumbs of acknowledgment. I acknowledge you. I wish u find happiness, I wish u find urself. I wish u will find ppl that would love u unconditionally, that would acknowledge you, make you feel special. Because you are special. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world.
cried real tears while reading this it felt like I am heard and seen… so beautifully written

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It rly hurt as an eldest daughter realizing at an extremely young age that ur parents can’t rly be parents, and feeling like it’s ur duty to care for ur siblings so that they never feel as shitty as u felt and never get as damaged as u did. it’s rly hard when all u wanna do is just leave and start a whole new life just for urself, but u feel like u can’t just leave ur siblings in the hands of ppl who won’t know how to handle them properly. u feel like u can’t leave those same ppl to their own devices either, bc u realized how hurt and vulnerable they rly are, how they’re just like kids and need someone to talk to(especially ur mother), how they are failed. even if they treated u like shit, u as an eldest daughter took the time to see where all their anger came from, even if they never did the same to understand u as u did for them. as an eldest daughter u feel u owe them the happiness that u think they got depraved of bc of u, even if they never showed u an ounce of that compassion like u do them. so then u realize u will probably always be split between this crushing feeling of duty as an eldest sister/daughter, and wanting to be ur own free person, the way u never got to be. it’s realizing ur too scared to leave, bc u don’t know if u could handle the guilt, the pain of feeling like ur selfish, like u betrayed the ppl who need u most, like u failed at ur job of being there for them, like u broke the family bc u had the burden of holding it together. it sucks when no one ever acknowledges the amount of mental energy, how much of urself u lose, how much pain and damage u sustain of being the one thing holding the family together, the only person who even bothers to be there for everyone, even if ur the one who got the most mistreatment and got failed over and over again. how much pure strength it takes, when ur not even there for urself, when u loathe urself to no end, when ur constantly on the edge of just giving up, when ur barely functioning to keep urself together.
To all eldest daughters and sisters: I see you. I see you, and I know how fucking hard it is. You were always doing an amazing job, even if this job wasn’t yours to do. I’m sorry u got failed. I’m sorry u feel invisible and like u have to be perfect just to get crumbs of acknowledgment. I acknowledge you. I wish u find happiness, I wish u find urself. I wish u will find ppl that would love u unconditionally, that would acknowledge you, make you feel special. Because you are special. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world.
oh so they fucked over rrr AND sardar udham for the oscar nominations? 2 years in a row anti-imperialism films have been snubbed. it’s like they have a problem with exposing colonizers on global media
I protested! Your entire British empire is a trading company that has turned into an imperialistic power ruling us illegally and forcefully. Freedom is my birthright and fighting for freedom is no crime.
Sardar Udham (2021) dir. Shoojit Sircar
[ID: Nine gifs from Hindi film, Sardar Udham. Gif 1: Udham and Reshma are at a machine, side by side as he is showing her how it works and jumps jokingly and smiling at her as she gets startled Gif 2: Is a close up of a newspaper, Morning Herald. The headlines reads “Sir M. O’Dwyer Assassinated at a London Meeting.” In smaller text it reads “Lord Zetland Shot too. Police lock audience in.“ There is a picture of Udham Singh on the right. Gif 3: It is an aerial shot inside a hall, Udham Singh is near the top left shooting at Michael O’Dwyer while people around him duck and scatter, scared. Gif 4: Udham emerges from the sacred pool by the Golden Temple, with his eyes closed. Gif 5: A closeup of a book titled “Heer Ranjha” that is slightly worn as you see Udham’s hands placed on top to take an oath. Gif 6: Bhagat Singh and Udham are running down a road that is in a field towards the camera, they are smiling and pushing each other jokingly as they run. Gif 7: A wideshot of Udham in the Russian wilderness surrounded by snow, there are mountains behind him in the distance Gif 8:People are sitting down in the Jallianwala Bagh and one young man is standing, while an older man gets up. Behind them are soldiers of the British Raj running out from behind General Dyer into a formation. Gif 9: Udham is crouching with his head down, bringing a small child standing in front of him for a hug. They are in the middle of the aftermath of the Jallianwala Bagh massacre. /END ID]
Things I loved about AOS 2:
The crown prince being in love with jang uk for 10 episodes, uk and yeong's chemistry (the best!!), Yeong being a cute lil baby, Park Jin and Kim Doju's lovely scenes, Jang Uk being a sexy badass.
Things I am sad about:
My baby boi Dangu's lack of scenes, Seo Yul not having that relevant of a part in the story except for the fact that he recognised her first this time, uk's reaction to her real identity, not enough scenes of uk x yeong being happy together ever after in the finale.
Despite all, I think this is one of the best series of the last years, I loved almost everything about it and I'm so thankful for the happy ending! I couldn't have stand another tragic end.
seeing the crown prince finally as the king erased my anxiety, solved all my problems, gave me clear skin and now i can die peacefully.

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Part 1: Uk, who chooses her at every turn:
Situation #1: “There is one problem. Your wife is locked in Cheonbugwan’s prison for sorcerers. I can open the door to Gwido but I will loose Jin Mu’s trust and we will miss the golden opportunity to completely decimate his powerful underground organization in one go. What will you do? I will do as you say.”
Jang Uk’s Decision #1: Frantically tries to locate wife using jade egg & makes a bee-line for Gwido. Tells CP to feign ignorance and step aside.
Situation #2: “I am a soul shifter. This body is Jin BuYeon’s but soul is someone else’s. I ran away because I did not want to get caught. What will you do now?”
Jang Uk’s Decision #2: Hides her soul-shifter scars, tells CP his wife is safe with him, tells her that only he can get “this close”. Stalls decision & gets antsy whenever she’s slipping up in front of CP & refering to BuYeon in 3rd person.
Situation #3: “You can ask what you’re curious about.”
Jang Uk’s Decision #3: He needn’t ask. He knows but vehemently refuses to acknowledge deathly afraid that he will have to fulfill his duty (as a mage that slays soul-shifters). Now we see why he blatantly refused to join all the dots coz otherwise the minute she interlaced her fingers with his or spoke about sitting atop a large tree, his conscience knew who it was. He was & is delaying the impossible but inevitable decision. He feigns ignorance and leaves her — his entire world behind (once in Jinyowon annex-prison and now in Gwido) — to not be that person to kill her. He leaves her behind, alive, for however long she has left.
Situation #4: “Your wife exposed all the sins you committed — of how you neglected your duty, feigned ignorance about knowing a soul-shifter, and spared the soul-shifter’s life. Where are you going? We are discussing what you’ve done.”
Jang Uk’s decision #4: Realizes his poisonous Master publicly coerced him into a corner so he has no choice but to courageously face the situation/do the right thing.
Also basically tells everyone to f-off & walks away coz now he has a reason and an excuse to go back & be with her. Finds her. Loves her most tenderly. Marries her. Lives one last day and one last night with her as husband/wife before things fall apart.
gonna cry this is so beautiful
alchemy of souls: okay so this is naksu in mudeok’s body
me: ok cool makes sense
alchemy of souls: but mudeok is actually jin buyeon so it’s naksu as mudeok in jin buyeon’s body
me: ok that’s a lil more convoluted but cool
alchemy of souls: but naksu is actually cho yeong so it’s cho yeong as naksu as mudeok in jin buyeon’s body
me: ok...i’m still following kind of
alchemy of souls: hey so we kinda lost cho yeong as naksu as mudeok in jin buyeon’s body and now have jin buyeon who looks like naksu who is really cho yeong but she forgot
me: ok...what
alchemy of souls: hey so jin buyeon who we thought was jin buyeon and mudeok is actually jin seolran so cho yeong as naksu is sharing a body with jin seolran so jin buyeon is not real probably. we don’t know who this body belongs to actually lol
me: ok cool wait what the FUCK????
do you ever realize that Cho Yeong has been manipulated and brainwashed as both Naksu and Buyeon to be exploited for someone else's agenda and grew up under the impression that she's worthless if she's not of use, a child who watched her family die while she hid and raised herself in isolation, the fear of being weak which will result in death so deep-rooted in her soul that it translates as Buyeon putting up with the abuse because "her mom" says she's "needed" and insisting to be of use to Jang Uk to survive, so hellbent in proving that she's worth something and the only time she felt needed with nothing to offer was as Mudeok and she doesn't even remember that she was loved by Jang Uk just for being herself
best cast honestly !!! the vibes the chemistry the friendship among them is so cute I am gonna miss this show so much😭😭😭
the storyline of jang uk is insane like wdym his mother died when he was born , his father blocked his energy and abandoned him then the woman he loved was casted under spell and stabbed him after years of pain and trauma he finally reunites with her but her soul is dying and when he gets back to songrim his mother figure who loved him more than anyone and his father figure are both dead ???? like damn cut my man some slack atleast let us see him happy once 😭

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episode 9 of alchemy of souls making me feel physically sick to my stomach like why can’t my man jang uk be happy for more than five minutes like why would you show him reuniting with his love after years of longing and being happy finally just for him to return home and see people who were basically his family dead ???? pains my heart so much
Jane Austen wishes she had written this