✨paul is a slag✨

i think we’re alone now (6042 words) by mcbeardymullet Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Beatles (Band) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: John Lennon/Paul McCartney Characters: Paul McCartney, John Lennon, George Harrison (The Beatles), Ringo Starr Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Blow Jobs, Oral Sex, Sex Games, (unintentional) Orgasm Denial, Coming Untouched, 1966, Beatles in Japan, Swapping Clothes, John Lennon’s Wanking Games, interrupted coitus Summary: Tokyo, June 30th 1966 He should have known better. He could blame the jet lag from travelling more than halfway across the world to Tokyo, or even the underlying stress of the upcoming activities planned for their time in Japan. Yeah, Paul could think of about half a dozen good and acceptable reasons why his judgement was impaired. Truthfully, however, the problem was John. John’s eyes. John’s looks. John’s games. ---- In which John and Paul engage in a bet twenty minutes before a press conference.

Inspired by this:

(part i: The Thing)

for the SECOND part of this DISGUSTING exploration, we’re now moving onto other shit. this lesser known tale is closely related to the vomitus, as displayed in Howard Sounes, 'Fab...' (p. 61, 2010)

yeah that’s right, they’re shitting in the gaff now. MERCIFULLY, this anecdote has not made the rounds as much as The Thing™️, and is first established in Philip Norman’s ‘Shout!’ (2004 edition)

the story is provided by Ted ‘Kingsize’ Taylor (of Kingsize Taylor and the Dominoes). presumably, Norman procured this via interview.

unfortunately, Norman is too busy and important for SILLY things like references and footnotes

i'm sure it won’t shock you when i tell ya that this story is not corroborated by anyone other than Taylor. nay, Taylor hasn’t mentioned it in any other interview or print (that I can find). it also only appears in this edition of 'Shout!' and in the aforementioned 'Fab'

the differences between Norman and Soune’s versions are miniscule. Sounes helpfully references the ‘star club section’ with “author’s background reading and interviews with, among others, Horst Fascher and Kingsize Taylor (quoted)”

now it *could’ve* been a new interview conducted by Sounes. but i doubt it given the similarities. the key differences include mention that Taylor was the next occupant of the flat, he 'nearly threw up', and the use of the word crap

looking at both versions, it’s not explicit whether Kingsize Taylor is a firsthand witness, or heard about it secondhand. tho implied firsthand with Sounes, i'd argue it’s unlikely Taylor was actually IN Hamburg when the bugs were living above maxim’s club

from the interwebs, Taylor & the Dominoes had their first Hamburg residency at the star club in the 'summer' of 1962. the Beatles lived in the flat during their residency in april/may 1962

in Barry Miles’ ‘The Beatles Diary Vol. 1’ (2009) the Dominoes were not on the bill at the star club’s rock n' roll event on may 28th. the Beatles left Hamburg june 2nd, and later played at the Cavern on june 20th with the Dominoes

so that gives us a good month gap between the Beatles leaving Hamburg, to the Dominoes going to Hamburg for the first time in the -summer-

maybe they were the first tenants in the flat post-bugs, but as far as witnessing the carnage firsthand? rather unlikely sir

ofc the Beatles returned to Hamburg in november and december '62, but they lived it up in hotels rather than the (alleged) shit infested maxim club flat

if true, Taylor would’ve heard it secondhand, presumably from star club co-owner Manfred Weissleder, aka the fumigator of the shit flat. however, we don't know whether this was said at all, in jest, or as a warning to the Dominoes to not to mess up the gaff

the timing of when the story emerged - 40 years after the fact - does limit its credential. in general, Taylor didn’t seem favourable toward the Beatles. in fact, some people may frame some of his comments in this interview as ‘bitter’: https://classicbands.com/KingsizeTaylorInterview.html

he also had these lovely recollections in 1985: https://savoy.abel.co.uk/HTML/kingsize.html

all that to say, Kingsize Taylor does not appear to, perhaps, be a unbiased source regarding the Beatles

IN CONCLUSION: just how Digusting were those Beatles in Hamburg?

in short: they were disgusting randy young boys without parental oversight. The Thing™️ was maybe true. The shitting on the floor™️ was probably not true.

both originated from a single source

thus, when it comes to anecdotes (particularly those concerning puking and shitting) let us consider the wise words of Mark Lewisohn regarding The Thing™️: "beware of journalistic exaggeration"

(aside: lewisohn should maybe heed his own warning when splicing quotes together y'know...)

thanks for reading you disgusting bugs - i've provided page numbers where possible but the majority of me beatle books are e-books sowwyyy

Taylor & Dominoes whereabouts were sourced via random old websites: https://web.archive.org/web/20110928201454/http://www.center-of-beat.com/starclub/bands/starclub_bands_taylor.php https://tropeamagazine.it/thebeatles/mersey/ksize/kingsize.htm

(part ii: the crap)

(hello, i come from yonder [beatlestwt] where i sometimes do silly threads deep diving into nonsensical things. i thought it might be worth pulling it over to tumblrspread the tomfoolery. this was formatted for a twitter thread so the paragraphs will be a bit funky - hope you enjoy!)

sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll aside, this thread will focus on two particularly gross hamburg anecdotes. that’s right kids, we’re going pukin’ n shittin’ it is important to note that these anecdotes occur pre Ringo's induction into the band - ofc, Ringo has NEVER been gross or bad in his life (apart from all those gross and bad things he has done) the first and better known incident concerns The Thing™️ - if one searches ‘weird beatles facts', The Thing™️ will almost always make an appearance The Thing™️ refers to a pile of vomitus produced by George Harrison. The story goes that George puked, refused to clean it & the lads kept it as a ‘pet’, discarding ciggies and what not on to it. y'know, just lad banter stuff. in the end, grown-ups got involved and it was removed so where did this fun tale originate? it first appeared in Pete Best’s co-written memoir, ‘Beatle! The Pete Best Story’ (pp. 157-158, 1985). Pete, the og drummer for the bugs, recalls the incident during the band’s stint at the star-club in apr/may 1962

this story is then repeated in various biographies with different levels of detail. Howard Sounes 'Fab: An Intimate Life of Paul McCartney' (p. 61, 2010) gives a brief mention. in the footnotes, Sounes details the section was based on ‘author’s background reading’

Mark Lewisohn includes the tale in pt. 2 of the extended edition of 'Beatles: Tune In' (2013). notably, it is absent in the regular edition, though there is a vague reference to extra activities such as puking:

in the extended edition, the story is retold in full. like a GOOD historian, Lewisohn attributes the anecdote to Best, in both the text and in footnotes. the one oddity in Lewisohn’s version is an additional detail about toothpicks being placed onto the 'pet'

The Thing™️ is given an entire -short- chapter in Craig Brown’s ‘1234…’ (2020). in the classic journo-biographer way, Brown doesn't include footnotes or refs, but gives general thanks to the books wot he read at the end. the story is identical to Best's with added verbosity

recently, Philip Norman includes the story in 'George Harrison: The Reluctant Beatle' (2023). as Norman is wont to do, he embellishes the story and provides next to no references - after all, why should you let sources limit your creative imagination in biographies!!

Norman’s story includes the addition of matchsticks and also quotes John referring to The Thing™️ as 'our pet hedgehog' - one presumes Norman procured this new information via oujie board now, dear reader, you have probably noticed that in stories of The Thing™️, the source material all comes back to one man: Pete Best. despite my best efforts (honestly my search history is full of beatles+puke) I have yet to find anyone else publicly remember The Thing™️ the main corroborators of this story would be the visiting bands and/or Horst Fascher (bouncer/Star Club co-runner) but, alas, nowt !

(side note: Fascher does have a biography 'Let the good times roll!' (2006) but i have not been able to source a copy. i also do not read german. so . if you do have a copy and can read german, help a girl out and search for vomit in that thing!!)

and so, much like the beatles in 1962, we must ask ourselves - can we trust Pete Best???

Best has the benefit of:

being involved in the story

telling it in his own memoir

however, it doesn’t appear in his second book 'The Best Years' (1996). presumably, the co-writer did not deem it worthy of inclusion. dunno why.

Best retold the story in 2010 at Fab Forum. in his recollection there is a minor change (Fascher’s shovel is now a bin lid) but it is mostly consistent with his memoir. it does show us, however, that memory isn’t always the best historical source:

(hello, i come from yonder [beatlestwt] where i sometimes do silly threads deep diving into nonsensical things. i thought it might be worth pulling it over to tumblr spread the tomfoolery. this was formatted for a twitter thread so the paragraphs will be a bit funky - hope you enjoy!) as the story goes, somewhen in the 1960s dear Paul contracted a STD/crabs/pubic lice, and while he was up at his remote Scottish farm he remedied it by using sheep dip aka a insecticide/fungicide solution for sheep…but where did this story start? it first appears in Peter Brown & Steven Gaines ‘The Love You Make: An Insider’s Story of the Beatles’ (1983, p. 210) Brown, PA for the Beatles/Epstein, relays the story from Alistair Taylor, Epstein’s PA/'Mr Fixit'

and so the initial story is established as: Paul gets crabs → Asks Taylor to go to the pharmacy for meds → Pharmacist provides “sheep dip” 20 odd years later, Taylor accounts the story in his own book, ‘With the Beatles’ (2003 edition, p. 132)

(side note - Taylor published ‘A Secret History’ in November 2001. ‘With the Beatles’ is a revised version of this book. sadly, i haven’t been able to find a copy of it for me research so can’t confirm if the anecdote appeared in 2001…) Taylor's version (ha) of his anecdote: Paul gets an STD → Asks Taylor to get some meds → Taylor enlists the help of solicitor Bob Graham → pills arrive labelled ‘Sheep Dip’ ...and so we have our first main quandary: was it literal sheep dip or “sheep dip”? In 2024 Brown & Gaines released ‘All You Need is Love: The Beatles in Their Own Words’, which consisted of the transcripts & interviews used for their book in 1983. Taylor’s transcript is presented as follows:

the transcript is somewhat unclear if it's real sheep dip or not. Taylor’s comment of “it was lovely” seems odd if referencing actual sheep dip, but one can kinda see how Brown & Gaines presented the story as they did however, in 2024 Brown & Gaines also gave an interview with the Hollywood Report where they said the following:

so the 3rd iteration of the story is : Paul was at the farm with Linda (not Jane) → Paul sent ‘an assistant’ to get meds → the only thing they had was literal sheep dip… (bear in mind Brown was 87ish and Gaines 76ish in 2024, and age can do numbers on ya memory) overall, i think we can dismiss Brown/Gaines 'versions' for the main reason of not being present at the anecdote to begin with (and doing a piss poor job of being consistent with details) however, Taylor has some issues between his 2003 published story, and the one told in the c.1980 transcript: 1. overall unclear whether its literal sheep dip or not 2. liquid vs. pills discrepancy so, can we trust this source? short answer: not really. long answer… the anecdote comes from one source - the only other people who can verify it are Paul, Bob, and an unnamed pharmacist. It is not a ‘trustworthy’ source on a surface level. thus are the usual pitfalls of biographical sources - they often come from one person & one person only Taylor’s published version is likely more ‘accurate’. he was present in the story, and published it on his own accord. he is consistent w/ his wider depictions of the farm in his books incl. ‘Yesterday: My Life...’ (1991 ed.) (although the STD story is omitted in this book) Brown/Gaines 2024 transcript of Taylor differs from the anecdote printed in 1983 - there is no mention of a pharmacist in the transcript, and no mention of Bob Graham in the 1983 book crucially, the transcript does not provide anything by way of *how* the story is told - Taylor’s ‘lovely’ comment suggests, to me, it was not actually sheep dip (ie he thought it was lovely they covered up the STD meds with 'sheep dip') now, one of the ways we could bolster this anecdote as a historical source is establish a pattern of behaviour and explore the question - is there proof Paul has ever had an STD?

..i mean, the man was a well documented slag (complimentary). but, alas, we don’t really have cold hard proof. Bob Spitz 'The Beatles: Biography' (2005) mentions that they all had gonorrhoea in the Hamburg days but doesn't cite a source to back it up (classic journo-biographer)

the closest we maybe get is the Itchy Dick episode of January 1969. Itching of the ‘penis’ (latin for penis) can be a symptom of STDs such as the clap, it can also be infections of a less sexual kind (yeast, eczema, depression)

in conclusion - the answer to the question ‘Did Paul Treat Crabs with Sheep Dip?’ is:

(part i) (part ii) (part iii) (part iv)

hiii. me again. sorry. i have a correction to make. sorry. so remember the whole 'the bracelet reappeared for one day in '66' thing. well, as tumblr user toadbit rightfully pointed out...that ain't the same bracelet shape. doh. ('63 vs '66)

SO, the '63 bracelet drops off after dec '64. now we gotta ask...where did this '66 bracelet come from?? paul isn't wearing it, perhaps he borrwed it from someone & is using it as a retro fidget toy? or could've been a gift from a journo right there n then? maybe its ringos??

it could also be a replacement bracelet that he just didn't wear that often. its all a guessing game now. more pertinantly, is the '66 bracelet the same one from the 70s/90s?? well, lets look at the the updated comparative image

is it the same one? maybe?? idk??? to my eye the '66 looks a bit thicker and more curved (oo-er) than the 70s/90s, which looks a bit longer and thinner (oo..er?)

i think as it appears once in '66 and isn't worn consistently, there is some weight to it being a different bracelet to the one worn in the latter years. a temporary bracelet for a stressful time, perhaps.

maybe paul just had a different id bracelet for each decade. maybe he kept losing them. maybe he just really likes buying id bracelets. the man's greed for bracelets knows no bounds!!!