sgt pepper? i hardly know ’er!

"fuck you john. and fuck everyone else too for never agreeing with my cool ideas. luckily i agree with MYSELF"

"why did you play all the instruments yourse-" "BECAUSE I CAN."

completely random uncalled for ringo diss. like he was PISSED

he was so real for this one tbh. Say That!

"and for the record i'm never setting foot in an office ever again. fuck off"

In Many Years From Now, I feel that Paul's description of LSD is, on the whole, somewhat cautious and negative. However, in Derek Taylor's account, Paul spoke enthusiastically about his and John's shared LSD trips, encouraged others to try it, and Jane even expressed jealousy over it. Does this suggest that, at the time, Paul’s attitude toward LSD was actually quite positive? Do you think Paul's perspective changed over the years as time passed and personal/societal views on substance abuse evolved?

Hi there! It's an interesting question, and you're right to note that there's some discrepancy between the contemporary accounts and Paul's later reflection. It's impossible to know for sure, but I think it's possible that his feelings about taking LSD were mixed. His initial introduction to the idea seems to have been negative, with what he describes as "peer pressure" from the others to take it, and not partaking in LA in summer 1965 when JGR were all taking it (along with Peter Fonda lol). It also seems likely, based on accounts and songs from the period, that Paul initially not taking it caused problems between him and the others, especially John, so it's not surprising that memories of that difficult time would colour his later memories. That said, once he and John were taking it together in 1967, it seems to have led to very positive-feeling bonding, as described in Derek's account and Paul's own very happy memories of the Sergeant Pepper's period. Paul's only explicit account of taking it with John, in Many Years from Now, expresses both positive and negative feelings - positive in the sense of closely bonding with John, to the extent of "disappearing" into each other's eyes, but also negative in the sense of it feeling like too much for Paul, who had to take breaks and eventually go to bed. That's all quite understandable and probably reflects a lot of people's experiences with psychedelics.

I say "Paul's only explicit account" because I believe he took LSD a lot more than the handful of times he describes. This applies, I believe, to all his accounts of drug-taking - there's no way he only took cocaine in 1967 and never again! That's also understandable, as he didn't want to have a "druggy" image and as he got older and had children he may not have wanted to be seen to be setting a bad example (except when it came to weed, which he was always fairly open about). His ambivalence could also partially stem from all the drama after the magazine interview in 1967 where he admitted to taking LSD - he may have decided after that to be circumspect about his drug-taking so as not to have to deal with that kind of grief again.

I recall an interview (I don't have the source) where someone commented on how thin he was in 1967 and he said something along the lines of "that's what happens when you take loads of acid and forget to eat". If he was being honest there, in an off-the-cuff moment, that indicates he was using LSD fairly often that year - not as much as John, but no one could take as much as John did lol.

My feeling is that LSD was positive for him when it was increasing he and John's closeness, but outside of that context it had less appeal and the sense of losing control of your mind outweighed the positive aspects - that's just my speculation, though, I can't know for sure.

Paul McCartney and Wings perform "Lady Madonna" during the Wings Over America tour, 1976

today i found out if you listen really closely to something you can hear paul singing along with georges guitar solo :')

Hey again, dear anon! (I’m assuming you’re the one from before) Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m truly happy you’re enjoying the blog, and that it is engaging enough to make you want to ask questions. I’m more than happy to try my best at answering them because I learn a lot in the research for these posts too!

For context, Tony Manero was a Brooklyn singer/dancer (who claims to be the inspiration for the main character in 1977′s Saturday Night Fever, though no movie-related source mentions it).

He comes up frequently in Beatles’ fandom circles as a “key witness” in the ongoing case of John Lennon’s sexuality. His testimony appears in Geoffrey Giuliano’s Glass Onion (1999), where he is interviewed on his encounter with John Lennon on the streets of New York City, on May 1974:

TONY MANERO*

Interview

New York, Summer 1992

Question: Tell me your story about meeting John Lennon.

Tony Manero: It was back in May of 1974. I saw three guys walking down the block. John was always my idol. I went up to him and said, “I know a lot of people hassle you, but I just want to thank you for your music. I’ve enjoyed you and you’ve helped me through a lot of emotional times.” Outside Jimmy’s Bar in Greenwich Village he said, “Why don’t you come inside for a drink?”

Question: Who else was with him?

Tony: Harry Nilsson was also there. After we ordered drinks, John switched seats to be next to me. He said to me, “Are you gay?” When I told him I wasn’t, he looked really disappointed. He could have been joking, but he wasn’t. My initial reaction was fear. And yet I wouldn’t leave because it was John Lennon. I said to him, “No, man. I don’t go that way.” “Are you sure?” he said, “Look, I’ll take you to Hollywood.” John was calling me “the pretty one.” He told me, “You’re the prettiest chick I’ve seen all day.” He said, “You look like a pretty little Indian or Arab chick,” because of my color skin. I remember Harry was borrowing one hundred bills from him.

Question: Then what happened?

Tony: At one stage I went out, and when I came back he was talking to this woman and he said “She said, ‘I thought he was Paul, meaning McCartney.’” So John turns around and says, “No, he’s prettier than Pauly. He’s got a nicer mouth than Pauly. Pauly’s got a small mouth.” Then he turned to me and said, “Let’s go get some chicks.” This man was giving me a dream to pay millions for. I hung out with him. John almost admitted his gay tendencies. He put his arm around me. He said, “It feels good to hold someone. You know what I mean?” Prior to that he said, “There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Two people exchanging feelings is not wrong. Did you ever try it?” People were following us. We were wasted and he put his arm around one girl and said “Suck my cock.” He stuck his tongue down her throat. We were loaded. Somebody stole the hat right off his head! He was so nice. I remember we had a hamburger. Later we went to his hotel rooms, 1608, -9, and -10. There was Harry’s bedroom, John’s, and a living room with a keyboard. He gave me a guitar, but it was later stolen. He propositioned me in the street. Hassled me if I’d ever made love to a male. “Will you give me head, man?” he asked. But I wouldn’t do it. “Come on, Tony, why won’t you give me head?” We went back to his hotel and he propositioned me again. After John died I wished I’d done it. He tried to kiss me. He put his arm around me. He was making moves on me like a guy would make on a woman. We were on the couch and we lay down. I said, “Wow, maybe I should have.” I never asked him if he’d had sex with a man, but it was obvious to me he had. I was at the hotel for a few days. But he never bothered me in the middle of the night. He never attempted it again. There were feelings and looks. He was very loving, like when a guy is very lonely. The man was bisexual - there is no two ways about it. He was feeling me out.

Question: What do you say to people who might not believe your story?

Tony: John did come on to me. He did try to make love to me. He asked me to perform a lewd act - that’s the truth. The man was bisexual - there’s no two ways about it. Any of his fans who can’t dig that, I’m sorry, because if you listen to his music, sensitivity and experiencing is what it’s all about.*Tony Manero was the inspiration behind the seventies film Saturday Night Fever and a successful New York businessman.

— in Geoffrey Giuliano’s Glass Onion: The Beatles In Their Own Words (1999), part Seven: Friends (pages 315-317).

Concerning Manero’s recollections, some familiar elements pop up.

There is “It feels good to hold someone. You know what I mean?” which seems to echo Paul’s recollections of his last hug with John, where the latter commented, “It’s good to touch.” It is a classical example of John craving physical affection.

“There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Two people exchanging feelings is not wrong. Did you ever try it?” reminded me immediately of the poem John submitted for Len Richmond and Gary Noguera’s Gay Liberation Handbook, on 30 May 1972.

Why make it sad to be gay?

Doing your thing is O.K.

Our bodies our own

So leave us alone

Go play with yourself - today.

Also, there are his comparisons to Paul, “No, he’s prettier than Pauly. He’s got a nicer mouth than Pauly. Pauly’s got a small mouth.” 

First, there’s the use of the adjective pretty, which he’s used for Paul before:

I remember we were going down to the studio […] and there was a great crowd pressing against the car. John was sitting in the back and he said, “Push Paul out first. He’s the prettiest.”

—Victor Spinetti, in the documentary You Can’t Do That! The Making of ‘A Hard Day’s Night’ (1995).

Also, there’s “that Paulie business” (note that’s it’s Paulie, not Pauly; and John will object if you use it, especially in a condescending way!).

Moreover, to me, the whole exchange strikes the same tongue-in-cheek tone as this late 1975 interview:

John: Yes, all your best friends let you know what’s going on. I was trying to put it ‘round that I was gay, you know– I thought that would throw them off… dancing at all the gay clubs in Los Angeles, flirting with the boys… but it never got off the ground.

Q: I think I’ve only heard that lately about Paul.

John: Oh, I’ve had him, he’s no good. [Laughter]

— John Lennon, interviewed by Lisa Robinson for Hit Parader: A conversation with John Lennon (December 1975).

John had already insinuated his relationship with Paul in a similar way in this humorous self-interview:

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?

A. Not yet, I thought I’d save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.

Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually ‘keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL…

A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway, I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

Q. It seems like you’re saving quite a lot for when you’re 40…

A. Yes, there might be nothing better to do, tho I don’t believe it.

— John Lennon, interview conducted by/on John Lennon, and/or Dr Winston O’boogie, for Andy Warhol’s Interview Magazine (November 1974).

I introduce all of this because if there’s one thing I at first found odd in Manero’s account, it was John’s forwardness. John doesn’t strike me as a guy to openly proposition another man. Was he really just super keen on it? Was he getting liquid courage from all the substances? Was he trying to get those rumours off the ground? A mix of all three? 

But perhaps it’s wrong to look at 1974 as just a normal year. 

Lennon’s Lost Weekend was the time of his life where we can see him be the most publicly vocal about his curiosity. He was open about being open. 

And striking friendships with gay musicians like Elton John probably gave him someone who he could talk to, or at least explore the world of gay bars with. Whatever gets you through the night, it’s alright, after all. 

One of those “dancing at all the gay clubs” episodes has been recounted by musician and music producer Mark Hudson. In a “weird but beautiful” moment, John urged the group to join him on the dancefloor, when The Three Degrees’ ‘When Will I See You Again’ came playing through the speakers and he exclaimed, “I love this song!” 

Because it’s always informative to pay close attention to the songs that were resonating with them at any particular time, I’ll provide the lyrics to ‘When Will I See You Again’ (released in the US on September 1974):

Precious moments

When will I see you again

When will we share precious moments

Will I have to wait forever

Will I have to suffer

And cry the whole night through?

When will I see you again

When will our hearts beat together?

Are we in love or just friends?

Is this my beginning

Or is this the end?

When will I see you again?

May Pang reports in her book, Loving John (1983), that after she and John left LA to go back to NY — where, after some time at The Pierre hotel, they moved to small penthouse apartment on East Fifty-second Street, around July 1974 —  the McCartney’s had paid them a visit.

John would spend the next two months recording Walls And Bridges, before releasing it on 26 September 1974. It included tracks such as the aforementioned ‘Whatever Gets You Through The Night’, ‘#9 Dream’ and also the beautiful ‘Bless You’:

Bless you wherever you are

Windswept child on a shootin’ star

Restless spirits depart

Still we’re deep in each other’s hearts

Some people say it’s over

Now that we spread our wings

But we know better, darlin’

The hollow ringIs only last year’s echo, oh-oh

Bless you whoever you are

Holding her now, be warm and kind-hearted

And remember though love is strange

Now and forever our love will remain

As a song, I think it’s the best piece of work on the album, although I worked harder on some of the other tracks. In retrospect, that seems to be the best track, to me.

— John Lennon, interviewed after the release of the album, cited in John Blaney’s John Lennon: Listen to This Book (2005).

(I’m sorry, I got sidetracked by their love for one another…)

But getting back to Manero’s story, you asked me if I think it is the truth or not. And honestly, there’s really no way to be completely certain of the veracity of these accounts. Having said that, I don’t really see this story as the scandalous, explosive news it is often made out to be. Not because I think it might be untrue, necessarily, but because I personally feel like John’s interests in homosexuality come through in his own words, as we’ve seen in the previous post.

For me, it seems clear that there was an attraction there. Now, an even more interesting question, I feel, is how much of that attraction was about the physicality of the male body; how much was about the contact with one’s softer, more sensitive side, not allowed in the classic moulds of toxic masculinity; and how much of it was seeking sexual contact as a way to epitomize emotional intimacy? 

And with the complexity of human beings, it is fair and likely that there were little bits of all three elements involved. But perhaps, it’s best to continue that line of thought in another post…

His name was Tony Manero. He told this story in Geoffrey Guliano's book Glass Onion (1999). He claimed to having met John in 1974:

Thinking about him right after The Beatles broke up makes me uncomfortably sad. John really was like Peter Pan to me.