a while back there was a picture of a butchfemme couple on a train circulating and the butch was sitting and the femme was standing. in the quotes people in the butchfemme community were saying things like “this is disgusting. why would you sit and let your femme stand” etc. it upset me so badly because 1) some butches are disabled and 2) femmes take care of their butches too, especially in public. i’ve seen so many femmes talk about how they hold their butch’s hand tighter in public, stand in front of us for protection, and are hyperaware of the surroundings. i hate that people ignore this.
i feel like there needs to be an honest conversation about these kinds of things because it’s so disrespectful to both butches and femmes and such a reductive thing to say about how care and safety efforts operate in butchfemme relationships/communities.
