absolutley bonkers takes

the first thing you'll learn about me is that I'm a funny guy

the second thing you'll learn about me is that I'm always in some kind of nightmarish torture hell dimension

worship and violence both require your devotion

and your hands

Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats

[i.d.: a photoset with images from black sails, with words overlaying each one to form a longer quote. the images are: a younger miranda hamilton and james mcgraw on a boat, young miranda crying, a close up of alfred hamilton, a medium shot of alfred in a chair, miranda screaming in peter ashe’s dining room, colonel rhett holding up a gun, miranda lying on the floor with a bullet wound in her head, below the deck of a ship, flint looking out to a burning charles town, and peter ashe slumped over on the ground. the quote reads, “oh now you pull out your code of justice - call me accursed, demand my exile! what about them? what about him? this man who, without a second thought, as if it were a goat dying, sacrificed his own child. isn’t it this man you should have sent into exile, to pay for that polluted deed? instead you pass judgement on me! well i warn you, threaten me all you like and yes, if you crush me, you’ll be giving the orders. but if some god ordains the opposite, however late, old men, i’ll teach you your place.”]

zero stars for nolan because odysseus, on his journey home to ithaca, was NOT visited by a ghost that tells him that once he reaches his home, once he slays all his enemies and sets his house in order he must do one last thing before he can rest. the ghost does NOT tell him to pick up an oar, walk inland, keep walking, until somebody mistakes that oar for a shovel. for that would be the place that no man has ever been troubled by the sea. and that's where he'd find peace.