Mav, the witch

Hi guys! wish you all a happy new year.

So, i decided to tell you a little bit about me and my witch side. I personally -in the past- never talk about it much because i didnt wanted to people see me like a weirdo and stuff. And i had been thinking about my true self and what makes me happy. I know that i want to learn more about witchcraft, crystals and tarot, so here is me posting about stuff i already kinda know and will post about others i dont yet.

If you already are a witch or are into that, please comment and let me know where to start.

Happy new year everybody.

Kalani’s POV

I wasn’t expecting Harry Styles to open the door. I mean, who would expect such a thing? I shake his hand, wondering who was him related to in that family. As far as I knew, he doesn’t had a brother. And he knew my name.. What the heck was going on here?

-Yeah.. I’m Will’s sister but I guess you already knew that. -I suddenly felt awkward. He let me in with a smile.

-I’m Matt’s cousin. -he explained me. -And I know you from the last capital FM concert, I love your new single by the way. -he added. I couldn’t believe what i was hearing. I was new in the music world, I had already five songs out in the media but I was nothing compare to a One Direction member. 

-Really? -he guide me to the living room, across the big window I could see my brother playing with a boy, whom I supposed must be Matt. -This is so crazy. -I say out loud.

-Why? You are really good, I wouldn’t tell you if I wouldn’t believe it. -he look at the sofa and tell me to sit with his hand. -Do you want tea or coffe? -I blink twice before I could answer him.

-Tea is okay. -I said. I thought british people loved tea most, but anyway, i wasn’t in a mood of coffe today, which was really weird. I wasn’t buying all of this, Harry Styles bringing me a cup of tea. -God. -I whisper. I wish I had dressed better. Anyway I was wearing some dark skinny jeans, high heels and a white t shirt. I loved myself for always being dressed up. 

Harry came back with two cups of tea and a box of cookies. He sit in the sofa, in front of me. 

-I bought these cookies at the market, I’m almost sure that they are vegan. -he added, giving me the box after reading the name of them. How the hell did he knew I was vegan? 

-Oh, wow. -I grab the cookies and start reading the ingredients. -How..? How did you knew I was vegan? -I asked.

-Besides your brother told me, I saw some campaigns that you are doing to save the planet. -Harry said. I stop reading to see if there was any sign of sarcasm. It wasn’t. He meant what he said. -Siriously, I think what you do is amazing.

-Wise kid. -i looked at Matt running outside, he seemed happy. Harry laugh. -He always care about what i can or can’t eat. -I look at him. -Thanks. -i smiled. 

-Are those vegan? -he asked me looking at the cookies. -We went to buy some cookies and milk, so your brother pic up those. -i had to give some kind of gift to Willie later.

-Yeap, they are. You shouldn’t bother, tell me how much you paid for everything. -I said, searching for my wallet inside my bag. 

-Nothing, really. Next time you paid and take care of the devils. -he joked. 

-Okay, that seems fair. -I took my cup and put sugar in my tea. As i drink a bit of my infution, Harry opened the box of cookies and offer me one, I accepted.

-Mm, they are good. -he said as he tasted it, I did the same.

-They are. Found new drug. -I joke making him laugh.

And that is how an ordinary musician like me ended drinking tea with Harry Styles. Unbelievable.

-Kala! -my brother singed when he saw me, and came inside the house running. He huged me ass I leave the cup in the little table next to me.

-Willie. -I huged him back. -Did u finished the homework? -he nodded as Matt came close to welcome me. 

-Yeap, we did. It was easy and Harry helped us a lot. -he said. -I told him you are a musician and famous too. -I look at Harry who was smiling at us. -Maybe you can make a song together. -he sound excited.

-That would be great! -added Matt. -What about play something now? -insisted.

-I don’t see a reason for not doing it. -said Harry.

-Yeih. -Matt said as he ran away somewhere else with my brother following him.

-If it is okay to you. -he said, god his eyes were even more beautiful than in the pictures.

-How could i deny something like this? No one would believe me. -I laughed,

-They will when they see the video and pictures on instagram. -he put his celphone in the table, I smiled with him.

*-*-*-*-*-

I know it’s short but i promised to upload soon.

Dear diary: i’m better than i had been in weeks. With mom and dad gone, Tom is helping me to take care of the house, the shopping, making lunch and stuff. The twins are worse than all of us , it doesn’t matter the fact that they are older than me, Dan and Newt always were the most attached to them. Even the youngest of us is taking this shit with calm, Will is more adult than the four of us. 

I feel like shit sometimes but then i remember that Tom needs my help. Im the only woman between this demons, so im the one who interfers when the boys start arguing. I am the mom now.. This is so bad. Nothing feels right anymore, what will we do? How are we going to survive this? And its all my fau.. -Kalani stop writing as the door of her room was open. 

-Kala? -it was Will, he was barely ten years old but he seems older sometimes.

-Hey Willie, what is it? -she asked him as she leave the diary behind and her brother sit beside her. 

-I was wondering if I can go to Matt’s house tomorrow, we have some english homework to do together. -he said as looks right into my eyes.

-Sure. Is it after school? -he nodded.

-Can you call Matt’s mom to make sure I can go tomorrow? -I nodded. -The number of his house is writen in a paper, next to the phone. You have a list with all my friend’s numbers. -he smiled at me.

-No problem Willo. Lets get the phone. -we get downstairs to the kitchen. Maybe spending some time with his friends make him forget a little bit about everything else.

***Next day***

After school Matt’s mom took my little brother to her house, she told me I can go to look for him around 6pm, her older son was going to be taking care of them. So after I came back from university, took Tom’s car and went to Matt’s house. As I ring the bell I was texting back my best friend, Sam. He wanted to meet me for dinner. I was with my eyes in the phone when the door was opened. 

I was of course expecting a teenage boy, not the twenty-some, green eyed, man that was smiling at me. 

I always had more of what I was supposed to have. I can say I have everything. I had been in wonderful places. Places no one had been and still here I am, wanting the only thing I won’t ever had: YOU.

My heart is broken and so my soul. I don’t even know why is that I keep crying, for you of course, but with no sense. I’m not a fool, I know you don’t deserve me, but I still a fool for loving you. I don’t want to anymore. No. I don’t want to feel this pain, not for you.  

If I had to cry I will cry for the starving people, the homeless, the -slowly dying- planet Earth and war. I will cry, oh I will, but because of me, because I will known better and because there are so many other important things in this awfull, restless yet wonderful world.  

I wouldn’t change anything cause you teached me that I can be so wrong sometimes cause I thought you were different, thought you were someone else and I was so mistaken. And it hurts, it hurts as hell but now I see you: you are lost. You don’t know what you want, you have dreams but you don’t work that hard to get them. You say you don’t have friends but when someone cares for you, you just get mad and shut them up, you push them away.

You are cute, you have something nice and mysterious about you and your laugh is like a dream. But you like to come and go, there is nothing safe in your life. One day you are this and right into the next chapter you are that.

You are not even closer of what or who I want for me, for my future. I’m not saying I’m better, I’m saying that I’m not for you, you are not for me. Of course you already knew this but I didn’t. Or maybe I did and I didn’t wanted to accept it cause I thought I wouldn’t have something to hold on to, like if there was something between us. It was like having a purpose, or hope but now I understand that it’s okay. I can put all that in myself. As you told me once, I had to love myself more and that is what I’m doing. Im letting you go for good, for me, cause I love me more and because you are no good in my life. No matter who you were or actually are I will always love you.

It was really, really good meeting you though. But until here. I will move on and maybe one day you will find me thinking about the idea I had of you. And I hope you can find your purpose in life. Be a good man above all. Take care of yourself and others too. Be a little bit more responsable and most of all REALLY find someone and fall completely in love with that person. As I move on I will try to do the same. No regrets. No nothing. We will go back in time and back to what we always were: strangers. You never knew me, I never knew you. You never loved me, I will always loved you, at least a part of me would.  

I would like to met you but you wouldn’t let me get into your life. It’s okay. I just needed to write it down, let you know that even if I'm not around as I always was I’ll be always here for you but I can’t keep staying. I don’t think you care, but this is me leaving you behind. This is me flying away, dreaming again.